How soon is too soon?

[x_toffee&ginger_x]

Hi everyone, so if you saw yesterday’s post you’ll know toffee my 7 month lion head passed away after he was neutered and left little ginger alone without a best friend. Although I am truly heartbroken and really unsure if I really want to get another bun I feel it is so unfair to leave ginger lonely and without a companion, as since they were both 8 weeks old they were together all of the time never apart. Due to this I am worried that he’s going to get lonely and depressed and I really don’t want to see this happen. Everyone I have spoken to have all said that it’s best to find him a new friend. For me I feel like I would be replacing my beautiful toffee which I could never do, however I want to do what’s best for ginger. Although I feel terribly guilty I want to know what you guys think is best. Do I find him a doe so that he continues to have a friend for life and so that he isn’t lonely? And am I selfish for feeling guilty and not wanting to get a new bun due to my feelings of not wanting to replace toffee? Any advice on what I should do would be great as I am so conflicted in what I should do right now. Ginger won’t stop looking for toffee and continously hops into his cage like he is still there trying to find him. I feel as though he is already getting lonely and there’s only so much love I can give him that I know a bun would probably help him and then he had someone with him

[Kiki]

I think you need to give both yourself and him time to adapt to this new reality. He may do just fine and you can introduce a companion later. Animals grieve too, the intro of a new bun may feel invasive to him as he’s still wondering what happened to his buddy

[Asriel and Bombur]

I’m sorry for you loss <3 iBinky Free Toffee

You’re lucky in the sense that they were never really truly bonded. Baby bunnies don’t bond, and as people mentioned in one of your previous posts, they would have needed to go through the proper bonding process once they were fixed. There’s no telling how they would have reacted to each other after the neuter surgeries. It’s likely there would have been some type of aggression as their scents change once they’ve been neutered and their hormones can fluctuate more than before they were neutered.

If you get Ginger a friend, you would have to wait a few months before bonding them and letting them even be out together, but in the mean time it will still help Ginger not feel as lonely. My boys aren’t bonded, and Asriel gets quite lonely whenever Bombur is at the vet for an extended period of time. They lived together until hormones kicked in at 12 weeks, and they’ve lived side by side ever since (almost 2 years). So it could definitely benefit Ginger.

At the same time, don’t feel like you NEED to get another bunny. It really is personal preference. And while no bun will ever replace Toffee, you can still feel a connection with another bun. Sometimes getting a new bunny to spread the love around helps. Sometimes you do have to wait a while for your own heart to heal, and that’s not feeling selfish. Sometimes the best way to care for our buns is to look out for our own mental health. You don’t need to rush out tomorrow and get one. You can wait as long as you need, or you can just never do it and devote all your attention to Ginger. Although, yes, buns are happier in pairs, there’s no written rule or law that says they always need to be in pair. Let yourself grieve if you need to.

[x_toffee&ginger_x]

Thankyou everyone I really do think it would be good to wait at least a while for myself and ginger to heal properly from the experience. Maybe I will re assess in the future but for now I think I will focus on ginger and making sure he’s the happiest bun he can be

[Kiki]

Indie is an only bun, she never had a bunny buddy, but she is happy as a clam. I think after the mourning and adjustment period you will know what is right for your other bun!

[Doodler]

Honestly this is a question that no one can answer for you. I wish we all could! The answer varies person to person. Only you can know what is right.

As I mentioned in my posting about your loss, I went through a similar feeling as you when I lost my sweet buck. For me I went from one extreme of ‘never ever again’ to ‘I still want Doodles to have a friend’. Once I decided this it felt right for us. It took me 8 months to find the buck that I lost but the doe I got after his passing I found within weeks. From someone who took 4 years to get another pet after losing a dog this was clearly very different from how I handled my previous loss. I will say that Delilah helped me heal more from the loss of my buck. She has brought such joy…and some frustration. This does not mean it is right for you! Your experience can be completely different than mind. You are not wrong if you decide to keep Ginger as a single bun. If you decide that you want a bonded pair please do not look at the new bunny as a replacement. There really is no such thing as replacing a beloved animal.

[Bam]

I agree that you wouldn’t be replacing Toffee, but I know the feeling. It feels treacherous. In reality though, pets dont replace other pets and the human heart doesn’t really run out of space.

Rabbits can live happily as lone bunnies in a household, if they get lots of attention and company from their humans. If the humans are gone from the home most of the day and have a lot of activities outside the home on the weekends, a bun would most likely be a lot better off with a co-bunny.

There is quite a lot to consider, but I feel confident that whatever you end up doing, it will be good for Ginger. You seem like a very loving, caring person.

[Dface]

I remember when my boy bun passed, i was so heartbroken i couldnt cope. I wouldnt get out of bed for anything other than Yumi. She was properly bonded to him and mourned heavily. She spent her time sleeping on my bed refusing to do anything.

I hated it. I thought about rehoming her because i didn’t want her lonely but i was so upset and stressed i couldnt comprehend another bunny.
Eventually it was a realisation that my poor girl needed me to be a better owner, so after a few weeks i went and founf her a mate. He broyght the spark baxk into her, she was so consumed with hatinf him she got over her loss.

Id say take your time. Toffee needs to heal from his neuter and hormones need to die down. Then when you are both ready you can look into a mate.

I dont look at it as replacing my lost bun, I see it as his legacy: because of him I fell in love with rabbits, and he gavr another bunny a second chance at life. As long as i have bunnies, he gets to be remembered

[Kiki]

Posted By Dface on 3/15/2019 4:04 PM

I remember when my boy bun passed, i was so heartbroken i couldnt cope. I wouldnt get out of bed for anything other than Yumi. She was properly bonded to him and mourned heavily. She spent her time sleeping on my bed refusing to do anything.

I hated it. I thought about rehoming her because i didn’t want her lonely but i was so upset and stressed i couldnt comprehend another bunny.
Eventually it was a realisation that my poor girl needed me to be a better owner, so after a few weeks i went and founf her a mate. He broyght the spark baxk into her, she was so consumed with hatinf him she got over her loss.

Id say take your time. Toffee needs to heal from his neuter and hormones need to die down. Then when you are both ready you can look into a mate.

I dont look at it as replacing my lost bun, I see it as his legacy: because of him I fell in love with rabbits, and he gavr another bunny a second chance at life. As long as i have bunnies, he gets to be remembered

This is beautiful and it made me cry.  

[Author]

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