Grief over rabbits vs dogs

[BrunosMama]

Sorry if this is a weird post here, it didn’t quite fit elsewhere.

This weekend, my mother in law had to have her dog put to sleep. She was 17 years old, which apparently is very old for a pug. Obviously, MIL was devastated. But, she made a comment that implied her grief over her dog was more profound than the grief we feel over losing a rabbit because our buns don’t live that long (so we don’t get as attached or involved or something). I pointed out that I didn’t agree, and to be fair, we have had 10 year old buns pass away and that rabbits don’t have as long a lifespan as dogs and are far more fragile. And that I have had a few cats pass away at 15 years of age.

Has anyone else ever heard something similar or been told anything like that? Do you think its the length of time that makes a loss harder to deal with?

Personally, I feel any loss of a pet is equally difficult. Although, some may take longer to adjust to life afterwards if they have had a long life. It doesn’t make the more brief lives any less impactful.

I wonder if bunny owners are viewed differently, even looked down upon, by strictly dog or cat people because we may have multiple bunnies versus one very old age dog or cat. Or that we are somehow bad pet parents because our bunny died at 3 years old while their cat is still going strong at 14. I think perhaps bunnies, along with their owners, are somewhat misunderstood by a lot of people.

[LBJ10]

I think it has more to do with the level of bond you have. People often think of the bond between a human and their dog is very strong. People often do not associate this bond with a rabbit, but people certainly can and do develop very strong bonds with their bunnies.

[BrunosMama]

That’s a good point. And bunnies certainly can become attached to their human as much as any dog. 🙂

[Bam]

I’m sure this is because rabbits are still commonly regarded as disposable fluffy little things that sit in a cage.

The connection between a human and a bun can be profound.

Imo opinion it’s really very rude of ppl to try and minimize another person’s grief and pain of loss. Grief isn’t a competition.

[BrunosMama]

I completely agree that it’s not a competition and should not be treated as such. It’s very rude! And frustrating, for sure.

[GlennTheLionhead]

I also agree, it’s not a competition. I think some people just misunderstand bunnies the bond bunnies and humans can have, probably due to them being viewed as ‘lesser’ like other people have said. I’ve had people suggest my bunnies are stupid etc (which here we know is very false!) but then after meeting and spending time with them they change their minds. I also believe that the grief felt is down to the person, some people just find it a lot more difficult to lose a pet no matter the species and shouldn’t be belittled for it. Other people bounce back, it’s a personal thing not a rule. I have a stronger bond with my long term boy than the dog I grew up with as a child.

Bonds can be very different, my boy used to sleep in our bed when he was a solo bun and to this day my partner tells me he becomes stressed and searches for me and stops cuddling his bonded mate as much when I dissappear for a few days for work conferences. One of our bridge buns would seek us out and cuddle up next to us…. So it’s definitely not species dependent for sure! Just a lack of understanding from some people I think.

[prince dorian the bun]

I had a cat that lived 19 years, I do think the time made an impact.  But mostly because the memories and bond you form in that time. Her death was also very traumatic and that didn’t help. Not anything to do with the species. I absolutely love my two buns and would also be devastated if I lost either one of them. I will have spent 6 years with Dorian and one less with Miu and that’s definitely enough time for us to have a strong bond. They are part of my daily life. As others have said people just don’t see bunnies as complex as cats or dogs. Also I suspect some people have to one up their grief, they just can’t imagine someone else having suffered how they are. Possibly because it would mean admitting they weren’t as generous with their sympathy at the time.

[BrunosMama]

Thank you for your input!

Yes, I think buns are often misunderstood and the bond shared between them and their human.

I also agree that some people tend to like to “one up” others, whether that be in grief or other areas of life.

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