forcing love?

[Briana C.]

So I was talking to a friend and she said she said that her absolutly attached and loving puppy used to not like attention or love as a puppy, he just wanted to be alone but she said she just held and loved the dog even if he didnt like it and now it is a toatal love bug . could that work for bunnies? Jenna absolutley loves getting out of her cage and running in the grass she binkies like crazy too everytime but getting her out of her cage is a nightmare!!!!!!!!!!!! I try to be patiet and let her come to me but she is as stubborn as heck and if i reach out to pet her when she (rareley) comes up to me and sitts she may tolerate it if she is eating but if not she runs to the back of the cage. I feel like a failure. I take her out almost every day but if I skipp taking her out one day she acts llike she has never ever seen me and is scared of me. Sometimes I even get that reaction if I do see her. and every time if I pick her up she scratches the blood out of me (and yes  I trim her nails) and I am so sad because that is what Greyson does and I thought she would be different since i got her young. once I get her situated she is okay.. but a lot of the time she will try to make a run for it and twice now she has gotten from my arms and she went so fast that all I could possibly do was to grap her hind legs until I can get a hold of her to hold her securely  and she screams like crazy. I understand being scared after but what can I do if she just jumps out? and then if she knows we are getting close to a place that I usualyy put her down (cage, run etc.) and she will scratch the life out of me, so latley I have been just when she scratches to walk another way and hold her more securley until she calms down and each time she fights I walk away and I have tried every way of holding possible . Please help!! I just want her to love me !

[katiep]

I’m by no means an expert but I have fostered a couple of rabbits who weren’t use to humans and needed socialization. I have fostered one rabbit who was not touched her entire life, we’ve had her in our home for 8 months and she’s still skittish, this does take time. Some ways I’ve won them over was I would not force myself on them but would invade their space meaning I would sit in their pen (if it was big enough) without touching them. I would let them know that I’m not always there to touch and pet and force myself upon them. After awhile they would approach me and sniff me. They would still be skittish if I moved at all and run away, but after awhile they might just jump slightly as i move my hand. I would also let them run around the room and lay down flat on the floor with some of their favorite treats in my hand or near me. I would touch the treats all over so it smelled like me when they ate it. I would just lay down without moving and let them come over and eat nearby. If they didn’t approach they didn’t get the treats. After awhile of that I would talk to them and reach my hand out for a sniff.

Some rabbits just don’t like to be touched and are just happy to be nearby and interact with you without physical contact. I can pick up one of my rabbits and she cuddles right in but if I pick up the other one I get scratched and almost drop him because he’s so skittish. But I know appreciate how he interacts with me without picking him up. He will bring a scrap of paper out of his cage and spin in circles right in front of me. He dances for me. That’s his way of interacting and it makes us both happy because he gets lots of laughs and praise for entertainment.

I feel if you keep holding your rabbit when they are in a paniced state and then they fall out of your arms and you grab their hind legs that would be very tramatic, i’d scream too! Try positive reinforcement techniques. If your rabbit is enjoying a nice salad out of their cage, pet them and make the connection that “good salad+pets= a good time!” Rabbits are very ground based animals and feel most confident and happy when all four paws are on the floor. Most don’t like to be picked up or on a unlevel lap. Try to put yourself in their shoes, imagine if you were that small and some giant was holding you! That’s how I try to think of my bunnies, I am a scary giant at first but after some positive reinforcement I am now the goddess of treats and love. And your rabbits too will eventually get there with lots of time, lots of patience, and lots and lots of treats!

[KatnipCrzy]

Rabbits are very different from dogs in the mentality of prey vs predator state of mind.  I would recommend not “forcing” her to be held for the sake of trying to win affection.  But use the next best route- FOOD!  Since you don’t want to upset her tummy- you will need to make a little go a longer way.  Cut up a couple of craisins to give yourself more treats and let her get closer and closer to you to get the treats.  Trust me- bunnies can smell Craisins if they are in the general area of the treat.  If she has never had one before- let the first couple be a freebie- she does not have to “earn”- but once she has the smell and taste reward her for getting closer and closer.  I only give them to my bunnies now when they are free run of 1/2 the house and not in their pens otherwise they might not come to visit me!  They have learned to keep finding me to see if I have a treat for them.  It makes it easier to get them back into their pens at night.

It is not the amount of the treat but the quantity of treats- my bunnies will eat even the smallest slivers of Craisins from my fingers- no piece is too small in their opinion!

[Briana C.]

I feel like giving up. They seem to hate me no matter what I do. I offer tons of food and they could care less they dont even try it (yes i tried crasins) she just sits in the back of her cage as if the food right in front of her face was air. She sits looking at me like i am an idiot and those eyes screm with fear any time i come close to her cage. Doesn’t she understand that I am good ? and that every time I hold her it is not for torture and everytime i hold her she gets to run free? she pitches a fit each time I hold her but when I set her down she binkies like crazy, it’s not that I even care that much to hold them but I have to to get them from thier cage to the fence. Even whe I let her down she will relax and come near me for me to pet her. I feel like a horrible failure and like all rabbits are specifically bred to make me want to stab myself. And now, Greyson who would eat anything decides that he will, like jenna reject any food besides pellets and bananas

[Sarita]

You sound very frustrated. I say don’t give up but don’t try so hard too. Relax and see what happens.

I guess my first thought is there something wrong with her as far as illness? Maybe not, but worth talking to the vet about if she seems anxious or scared all the time.

I think that you just need to try not to put human emotions in the equation too – she probably doesn’t understand.

Is this a bonded pair too?

I have a bonded pair of Dutch rabbits that sound very much like this – they are great rabbits and I love them dearly but they just seem scared all the time or anxious and hate being bothered by me. I’ve just come to accept this I think. I pet them but they run. I certainly don’t feel like a failure though – I think they are happy to just be there and be safe.

Also are they indoor or outdoor – I cannot tell because you mention getting them out of the cage and a fence…

[Adalaide]

Is there any way to allow her via a ramp or some such to get herself out to play when it’s time? Maybe if she just doesn’t like being held. I haven’t had Freya long, but she’s definately not a cuddle bunny. Maybe if she can have more independance and need you less she’ll come to you because she wants to, not because she has no choice. She sounds like a real headstrong handful. I can see her being the nagging wife, “if you so much as touch that craisin…” I also cover Freya’s eyes if I have to pick her up, just while I get from kneeling to standing, it helps her to keep from freaking out. I have the scratch marks to show for not doing that for her.

[RabbitPam]

Hi,
I am going through a similar adjustment with my bunny, Samantha. I had Spockie for 8 years and he let me pick him up several times a day, though never for long, and I thought I was very good at handling a bunny. But Sammy, from day 1, boxed and was upset when she saw hands coming at her. So, I am going through some very slow steps with her to win her trust and get her more comfortable. You are going to have to be patient for a while. Just think of it as a growing up process for your bunny, who will generally calm down as she gets older as well. How old is she? Has she been spayed yet?
If she is over 6 months, I would suggest getting that taken care of right away. It will do a bit to calm her, though her basic personality is the same.

Sammy seemed to be afraid of being held and of heights. One of the things I try to do is keep my fingers together when I reach out to her so my hand never looks like a claw.
A bunny will struggle more, not less, when you hold it tighter, so it would be better to let her down gently when she struggles than to cling to her and risk her twisting and hurting her fragile back or falling from a height.
If you must pick her up, put one hand over her eyes so she can’t see herself above the ground, and pet her between her ears and eyes as you cup her head, so it is soothing. Talk to her in a soft baby voice most of the time.
I came to an agreement with Sammy that I would never pick her up if she would return to her cage for breakfast and bedtime. So I rattle a jar of treats, let her smell or taste one, then repeatedly say “Treat” while I rattle the jar and tap the treat on her bowl. She has learned that she can bypass me and hop into her cage by herself and find the treat waiting in her dish. It works twice a day. It’s not as fun for me, but it gets it done her way. She trusts me more now.
Then at night I lie down in front of the TV and she runs around me. I leave my arm out, she nudges my hand for head pets and then I pet her. She still doesn’t like my hand coming at her, but she clearly tells me when she wants me to pet her. Eventually, she’s let me move my arm on the floor beside her and snuggle her into my side where she gets head pets and cuddles next to me. Again, no lifting.

I hope this helps. You don’t want to grab a bunny to the point of them screaming. You want to lure them with food, and corral them into smaller spaces so they have few choices of where to move but it’s still their choice to go there. When I find my next step in handling Sammy successfully, I’ll let you know! I know how you feel, so hang in there. She still loves you and knows you’re taking care of her.

[riibu]

This topic seems to come up a lot.

The key here is PATIENCE.  How long have you had your rabbit?  I’m guessing not very long, but maybe I’m wrong on that.  Bonding with a rabbit can take A LOT of time.  Expect to spend at least 3-6 months getting to know each other, and depending on the rabbit, they might never warm up to you.  As has been mentioned, they’re not like dogs, at all.

Here are some similar discussions that might be of use for you:
Are you buns affectionate to your humans?
Can rabbits be trained to be more “loving” (accept cuddling)
Why do I care what my bunny thinks of me?
When will they really trust me?
Human to Bunny bonding Queries

[Beka27]

What I know about your situation is that the rabbits are housed outdoors, they are not bonded (male and female, neither altered yet.) The male is older (5 or 6?) The female is a very young bunny. It’s hard for me to offer you advice regarding this topic. Since they are housed outdoors, you don’t have an area they can run in and NOT have to be picked up/carried and put there. With the female especially, she may be experiencing hormonal changes which are making her skittish and territorial. The male, since he is older, is probably a bit more settled personality-wise, even not being neutered. Also, there is no way for you to know what they experience at night. There may be animals prowling around the cage, or they may see/smell them somewhere else and that could be making them fearful of everything.

My advice would be to take the next step and get them both altered, the male now, the female when she is old enough, and house them indoors permanently. When you are able to spend more time with them in a safe, quiet location, you may have an easier time getting to know them and working around their schedule.

[Briana C.]

Well I was just so frustrated and sad at the moment and It really isn’t all that horrible I just have a whole lot to learn and a WHOLE lot of patience to earn. They are out door bunnies, honestly I really love them and would be extatic to have them indoors but , my parents wont have any of it. She is only scared when I am around, because she is scared of me getting her out of her cage, once she is out and I get her to the fence she is a VERY happy great rabbit. As far as a ramp the cage design is really strange and the door is closer to the top than the bottom, but there and levels and one meets the door, perhaps I could do something with that, but I am not sure how a ramp would work. I actually got her because she was the most laid back bunny, you would look at the tiny little bunnies all huddled up scared together and then there was her sibling, HUGE compared to the others and you would all of the sudden hear this loud PLOP and there she was as relaxed as could be in the middle of the crate. Even at the store she scratched and tried to escape from being held, but I just had a thing for her and now she is here. I thing the main reason she will jump out of my arms is she is ready to run, my other bun, Greyson never really moved much but Jenna dashes maddly around and I think she is just tired of laying aroud in the cage and now in my arms so she just makes an escape for it. No I don’t think they are bonded, they don’t share a cage becuse I havn’t had the time or money to get Greyson Neutered (she is too young to be spayed yet). They seem to enjoy each other’s company, their cages are side by side a few inches apart and I take them out sometimes at the same time but separated. Greyson will groom her and she loves it but she won’t let him groom for long (short attention span) but grooming is all that they are able to do. Well last night after putting Greyson back in his cage I went in to have supper and chill out so after I ate we had some leftover lettuce and cucumbers so I figred might as well try it I petted Greyson and gave him his greens then went to Jenna’s cage and this time I opened the back door, near the back is where she generally stays and she did not move when I came around I put the food in and she sniffed then sat back down, she seemed excited and jumped on the 2nd floor of her cage to get a better look at me and let me pet her, so after a breif petting she jumped down then she let me pett her more. I guess I should try that back door more often, she was at first still very cautious because she didn’t want to be held so I din’t try to hold her at all.

[RabbitPam]

Well, that sounds better. Please be careful NOT to give her Iceberg lettuce, the kind we usually eat from the grocery store. Can’t tell you why but it is dangerous for bunnies even though Green Leaf, and Romaine, and a few other greens are good for them.

I’m sorry to hear she is too young to be spayed, since that it the best next step. She will need it to prevent the risk of cancer as well as litters. I think getting Grayson neutered immediately is wise. I know it’s expensive, but bunnies are actually a very expensive pet, so it needs to be factored in. Cared for properly, they will be around for years, so it’s a good idea to have a little saved for emergencies and procedures.

Check out the different kinds of habitats you can have for your bun. They don’t smell indoors, are easily trained, and really delightful indoor pets. I would consider convincing your family to let them into the home.

Please don’t let them be together, even for grooming, until one of them is fixed. It only takes bunnies a second, and I would hate to see you trying to cope with an oops litter on top of this.
You’re being patient – keep up the good work!

[Author]

Messages