Finding a New Companion — Is it too soon?

[BunMoms08]

Hi Everyone,

My main question is, how soon should we be looking for a new companion for our surviving bun?

Our bun, Coconut, lost her sister, Nutella, about two weeks ago. Unfortunately, because of Nutella’s sudden passing, we were not able to allow Coconut to spend time with Nutella’s body. We observed Coconut diligently over the next few days — bc we read that bunnies can get depressed after their pair dies. Coconut seemed fine — she was eating regularly, hopping around the house, she even binkied one night.

BUT, about 5 days after Nutella passed, Coconut refused to eat. We brought her immediately to the vet. She stayed there for about 2 days. Unfortunately, she continued to refuse to eat, even refused critical care (we tried everything — adding banana, adding mashed apples, syringe feeding on the floor, on the table, in a burrito, placing the critical care in her bowl. Literally, everything!), so we had to bring her back to the vet this past Sunday; she’s still at the vet, and it looks like she’s not going to come home until tomorrow night.

I’ve read that some buns who lost their companion, and who seemed depressed after, were able to bounce back after finding a new companion. We feel that Coconut would benefit from a new companion, but since she’s been in and out of the vet, would this process be too stressful for her? Should we wait until she’s 100% back to herself before we go for any speed dates?

Coconut was the dominant bun, and our vet recommended that we find a new companion for her ASAP (while she’s grieving). We just don’t want to add anymore stress for her; she’s been through so much the past couple of days.

Thank you!

[Bunny House]

I’m sorry she’s going through this, and you. The vet is force feeding her right? Not just letting it be on the floor and her not eat it? She needs to eat to avoid a hepatic liver.

My girl got depressed 3 days after her mate died and so I force fed, did fluids, the whole stasis procedure and she got out fine but I know she is still depressed so I spend a lot of time with her.

Has the vet checked for dental or other issues?

There’s no time like the present, I know it sounds wrong but it’s true. I recently started prebonding her with my others and she perked up since she had to mark her space all over the room!

You can even rearange her space and add some new toys in there so she will have to be more active.

You can take her to a bunny shelter and let her do some speed dating to see if she likes anyone there and then see about prebonding. I think her getting a friend (of course proper prebonding) will keep her mind off of it.

((((Coconut))))

[DanaNM]

So sorry for your loss

I second what Bunny House said, a new companion may help a lot. Even if you don’t start actually bonding them right away, just having another bunny nearby has been shown to really help depressed bunnies after they’ve lost their mates. I read one story where someone had their friend bring their bunny over for a few hours each day, because their bunny would only eat when the other bunny was around.

Sometimes they even re-bond more easily when they are in the grieving period.

If it isn’t possible right away, you can try giving her a stuffie to snuggle with (just be sure she doesn’t chew it).

You are right that you wouldn’t want to actually start bonding sessions until she was more stable, but just having a bunny nearby, or even fostering a bunny as a neighbor, might help her.

. . . The answers provided in this discussion are for general guideline purposes only. The information is not intended to diagnose or treat your pet. Seek the advice of your veterinarian or a qualified behaviorist.  

[BunMoms08]

Yes, the vet if force feeding her. They checked her and everything looks fine — her teeth, skin, eyes, etc. are all ok. She was acting pretty okay the first couple of days after Nutella passed. It wasn’t until the 5th day that she just refused her pellets and treats.

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Posted By Bunny House on 9/12/2018 1:48 PM

I’m sorry she’s going through this, and you. The vet is force feeding her right? Not just letting it be on the floor and her not eat it? She needs to eat to avoid a hepatic liver.

My girl got depressed 3 days after her mate died and so I force fed, did fluids, the whole stasis procedure and she got out fine but I know she is still depressed so I spend a lot of time with her.

Has the vet checked for dental or other issues?

There’s no time like the present, I know it sounds wrong but it’s true. I recently started prebonding her with my others and she perked up since she had to mark her space all over the room!

You can even rearange her space and add some new toys in there so she will have to be more active.

You can take her to a bunny shelter and let her do some speed dating to see if she likes anyone there and then see about prebonding. I think her getting a friend (of course proper prebonding) will keep her mind off of it.

((((Coconut))))

[BunMoms08]

We feel so awful with this whole thing and feel so helpless. we brought her a stuffy the very next day after Nutella passed, but she just ran away from it.

We have a speed date scheduled for Saturday, but we’re just afraid that it might be too stressful for her since she’ll just be coming home from the vet.

But I do agree that it probably will be helpful for her to have a companion right now. I really feel that it could perk her up.

Should we just go ahead and find a new bun for her? Or, would it be better if she picks her new companion?

[DanaNM]

if you think the dating process will be too hard on her, then just bringing a new bunny home wouldn’t be too bad. Does your shelter allow fostering? Perhaps you could ask them if you could foster a bunny for a while and see how it goes?

Even with speed dating, bonding isn’t always easy, and there are many successful bonds, even when they don’t get to “pick”. My first pair was an “arranged marriage”. So either way don’t stress out too much about it.

If you do pick blindly, I’d prob go for an neutered male, even though she was bonded to a female before. Female pairs are possible, but they seem to be tougher than the other options.

. . . The answers provided in this discussion are for general guideline purposes only. The information is not intended to diagnose or treat your pet. Seek the advice of your veterinarian or a qualified behaviorist.  

[Bunny House]

I agree with Dana, fostering might be the easiest way and hopefully they’ll become a foster failure and then you can bond the two.

All of mine, I picked out their partner and hey had no issues with them with bonding but they were male female pairs so it was a breeze.

[BunMoms08]

Thank you both for your input.

We brought Coconut home from the vet last night, and she seems to have improved a lot. She’s still not eating her pellets, but eating everything else.

We have a speed date scheduled tomorrow, which I think, since Coconut seems to be doing fine, we will keep. Hopefully it works out! If not, we definitely will look into fostering!

[Bunny House]

Hopefully she’ll make a full recovery! Keep us updated

[DanaNM]

Good news, glad she’s doing better! Yes do let us know how things go!

. . . The answers provided in this discussion are for general guideline purposes only. The information is not intended to diagnose or treat your pet. Seek the advice of your veterinarian or a qualified behaviorist.  

[BunMoms08]

We had to cancel the speed date because our vet called us the night before to say it was too soon for Coconut. We understood, although we were quite bummed. We did end up going to the adoption event without Coconut to meet the potential bachelors. We loved 2 of them, and we set up a date this weekend with the 2 buns.

Any advice on what we should look for? My partner likes the younger bun who is very active and seems to like pets from us. I happen to like the other bachelor; he’s about 2 and seems to be the quiet type, but warms up eventually. We read that bunnies ignoring or tolerating each other is a good sign — but coconut is not a very social bun to begin with. Is there anything we should be particularly paying attention to during the date to help us decide if she likes one bun over the other?

Thanks!

[DanaNM]

Either one could work, it’ll really be up to how they react towards each other. There are positive things like grooming and relaxing. Mounting can be neutral or slightly positive (I want you). Any outright aggression prob means it wouldn’t be a good match. The shelter staff will likely be able to help you interpret their behavior as well.

I’ve noticed sometimes the first date tends to go a little better because your bun won’t know what’s going on as much.

Fingers crossed it goes well!

. . . The answers provided in this discussion are for general guideline purposes only. The information is not intended to diagnose or treat your pet. Seek the advice of your veterinarian or a qualified behaviorist.  

[Asriel and Bombur]

How social your bunny is with you won’t really determine how social she is with other bunnies, especially if the personality of the new bunny differs from her old partner. Ignoring each other and grooming themselves (not necessarily each other) are neutral/positive signs to looks out for. How old is Coconut? Getting a younger and more energetic bun might not be the best idea if she’s older and more or less docile, if there’s a significant age difference between the two the new bun could become bereaved early and you might have to go through this again.

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