Female bun likes Male except for during bonding sessions??

[Remus & Ruby's Mum]

Hi everyone!

I’ve had Ruby for 2 years and we got her from a shelter that normally only takes in dogs. They had no idea if she was spayed or not and advised me that hay was just a treat and should be fed sparingly so I knew they were clueless about rabbits.

We took her to a nearby rescue for boarding while we went on a trip for a week. We expressed that we were interested in getting her a friend, so while we were gone they did a couple of dates with some male buns and she and Remus were immediate friends. They mostly ignored each other, Remus even flopped within the first couple minutes and they did some cuddling on their own. So we brought him home, set up a pen for him a couple inches away from her, and a week later we began bonding sessions. 

It’s been a little over a month since he came home, and during sessions initially Ruby flipped back and forth between ignoring him and lunging at his every move. Now she either ignores him or humps him constantly, pulling out MULTIPLE clumps of his fur the whole time. So it’s like she’s not actively defensive against him anymore, but when she humps him she’s just a huge bully!!

Remus doesn’t fight back at all, he loves Ruby. I let her hump him for awhile until I realised she was yanking out his fur.

The thing that confuses me most though is that if they’re in their pens, Ruby also likes Remus. When I let her out to run around the apartment she runs over to his pen and they both groom each other for ages! She even flops next to his pen sometimes.

Anyone have any experience with anything like this or some advice? I’m going to take Ruby to the vet soon so we can check if she is unspayed, and if so we’ll get her fixed. I have a feeling that will help, but I wondered if there was anything else I could be doing???

[Sirius&Luna]

I think the problem is you’re expecting too much. Of course, they had a very positive first date, but that is just the start of the process. Now you have them both home, you should be doing some pre-bonding, so they get used to the smell of each other for at least a month, before you start doing dates. You’re in the girls territory, so it’s always going to take a bit of time for her to come round.

Have you been introducing them on neutral territory?

My girl rabbit also used to be friendly to our new boy when he was in his pen. I genuinely think it was because she liked seeing him locked up in there. If I had him out in another room, even if she was running around the room with their pens in, she would be furious that he wasn’t locked in his pen. It didn’t matter that SHE wasn’t locked in either, she wanted him to be.

[Remus & Ruby's Mum]

Yep we’ve been doing the dates on neutral territory, we take them into a small area in the bathroom (Ruby has never had access to the bathroom). And the thing is, she used to be like your girl bun, getting mad whenever she saw that Remus was out and she wasn’t, but now she doesn’t seem to mind and they groom each other through her bars just as much as through his. So confusing!

I definitely did the pre-bonding during that first week he was home, switching their toys and litter boxes and blankets every day etc, but then I started doing bonding sessions too. The shelter we got him from told us to wait a week so it never occurred to me that we might’ve needed to wait longer. 

Also, I suppose I’ve been getting worried because I keep seeing people on the forum talking about how bonding bunnies only takes them a week. It made me think that maybe I’ve been doing something wrong. How long does an average bonding take??? 

It’s been a couple months and I didn’t think it would take this long– I’d always heard of “difficult bonds” being ones where they fight all the time etc, and they don’t fight.

So do you think I should go back to prebonding for awhile? 

[Sirius&Luna]

I would advise doing the prebonding for longer, there’s no harm in it, although I know it can feel frustrating.

If you look around these forums, you’ll see that it took the majority of people a lot longer than a week. Rescues often seem to do it in a week, but they start off on neutral territory and can often dedicate more time to it than we can. They also have more bunnies to match, so can choose ‘easy’ bonds I suspect. Personally, it took me 3 months of prebonding before I stopped seeing aggression, then about 3-4 weeks of actual bonding. The good thing was, because they were so used to smelling each other I had pretty much no aggression during the bonding process. I think most people find it takes at least a month of bonding sessions before they feel comfortable that the rabbits are bonded.

Perhaps reading some of the diaries in this forum marked *bonded* will help you, I found it really useful to read other people’s journeys. Mine is up here too, as mine have only been bonded for a month!

The good thing is, yours do sound like they want to be friends! Give Ruby a bit longer to come round to the idea of a stranger in her home and I think you’ll have a much smoother time.

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