Feeling so dead inside.

[ForeverAutumnFrost]

Day before yesterday my 8 year old mini rex was the vibrant picture of health. For a couple months we have had her scheduled for a very routine non-cancerous mass removal. Her doctor recommended it for her continued good health, as it caused her some discomfort and could have gotten much worse. Yesterday was the day. She was happy, affectionate, and eager for her breakfast. Everything in our routine was normal until time for her appointment. I packed up her unicorn blanket and favorite pink bunny plush to be with her until it was time to get her.

They ran her blood work again to be sure, checked everything. Everything checked out. She had the blood work of a baby bunny. As they put her under anesthesia for surgery though, her vitals began to drop. They got her resuscitated, gave her oxygen… Her vitals had come back up, but then…

My precious baby is gone. Nothing will ever be right for me again.

I don’t know what I really hope to accomplish by posting this. I’ve been crying since it happened. My rabbit doctor is a highly respected and skilled one that has pioneered much in exotics. Nothing should have gone wrong. My baby should be in my arms now, but she’s gone.

[Bam]

I am so very sorry you lost your bun. You opted for the surgery to help her and to promote her long term health. It’s very unfair that things went wrong.

We post in the Rainbow-section to pay  tribute to our lost pets. It it important, because our pets are important. You are very welcome to post a few pics of your girl, or write down some sweet memories of her. Many people will read it and admire her.

Binky free, little girl ❤

[ForeverAutumnFrost]

Of all the souls I’ve known, she was easily the most pure and loving. I’ve suffered with suicidal depression since before I was even a teenager, I’m nearly 40 now. When the world felt like too much I would cuddle her and just cry into her velvet fur. She always responded with kisses. Her tooth purrs as I stroked her cheeks made me feel like I could keep fighting another day. Her sweet happy honks as I pet her were relief for the pain of my battle scars of life.

The only way I could ever even hope to accurately describe her is to say she was my light. She was a plush bundle of love and light. The world is so cold and dark now without her in it.

She was so tenacious as well as sweet. She wanted what she wanted when she wanted it. She would tell me she wanted a couple extra pellets in her logic toy, that her hay needed to be topped up again or that she just wanted IN the hay box for snacks instead. She would nudge my leg with her soft nose to be put on the bed as she couldn’t quite make that jump on her own anymore. The bed was HER domain. Our family cat is a gentle giant, my mini-rex was maybe 1/4th the cat’s size and she would grumble and push the cat right off the bed.

She wasn’t above telling me she didn’t want me to kiss her or pet her when she was busy fixing her spot by digging and pulling her blankets, but even her cute growls were a source of such happiness for me.

 

Until maybe I feel stronger to get some better pictures, I will at least put her as my avatar image. To me she is still the most beautiful baby to have ever graced the earth by hopping upon it.

[Bam]

She looks beautiful! She must’ve been so, so soft.

How lucky she was to have all that love in her life. 💗 You paint a lovely picture of her with your words. She was clearly free to express her true personality, full of sass and sweetness!

(I may have been a bit unclear in my previous post. What I meant about why we post in the RB-section, was in response to what you said about what you hoped to accomplish by writing your post. What it accomplishes is a beautiful memorial for a dearly loved and very important bun girl. Writing and posting can sometimes help a tiny bit with the heavy burden of mourning.)

I’m glad you got to have her in your life, and that she got to have you.

[DanaNM]

I’m so so sorry for your loss. 🙁  It is so unfair and unfortunate (to put it lightly) when we are trying to do what’s best for our buns and it all goes wrong.

I would have done the same thing, because if you had waited longer the surgery would have been even more risky, and then you would have been questioning whether you waited too long, etc.

You might not be ready for this, but when I was grieving my girl Bertha (the white and tan bun in my avatar, she passed last Christmas), I fostered a pair of little bunnies for a rescue. They were incredibly different from her, so it didn’t feel like I was trying to replace her or anything, but it did help me during the process. If there are any rescues in your area, you might inquire about fostering if you are up for it.

Not sure if you are familiar with the author Cheryl Strayed, but she had an advice column called “Dear Sugar”. I remember one person was grieving the loss of someone in their life (I think a son?) who was taken too soon. The author had lost her mom when she was quite young, and found it helpful to say to herself “my mom lived to be ____ years old”, rather than saying she died at that age. It helped her feel more thankful for the years she had, rather than focusing on it being cut short.

Despite the horribleness of losing her during a surgery, 8 years is a good life for a bunny, and it sounds like it was jam packed with love. You were lucky to have each other. <3 We all hope our bunnies will live to be 15, but we just never know when something might take them from us. I think that is part of what makes their time with us so special.

(((Binky free sweet bun)))

. . . The answers provided in this discussion are for general guideline purposes only. The information is not intended to diagnose or treat your pet. Seek the advice of your veterinarian or a qualified behaviorist.  

[rose_bautista]

I am so sorry about your loss, ForeverAutumnFrost  😥 .  My bunny, Lola, passed away this past Friday.  I had the most terrible weekend ever.  I cried, and cried, and held on to her body until I was ready to put her in a plastic tote, inside another plastic tote filled with snow.  I live in Southwest Minnesota and the ground is frozen so I have to wait until the Spring to bury her.  Do you have any other bunnies or was she your only pet?  What was her name?

Mine died from Cancer, too.  Even though, I haven’t yet confirmed this with her vet, she got spayed after she was 4 years old.  She was given to me by a co-worker.  When they spayed her, they did extract 9 cancerous tumors.  The vet warned me that even though the tumors get removed from the uterus, cancer is likely to come back as a form of breast cancer.  I believe that is what happened to her.  I still have three bunnies and plan on keeping adopting them, but Lola will forever be in my heart.

[rose_bautista]

I agree that fostering another bunny will help soothe her soul little by little.  And, whenever she is ready, maybe adopt another one.  As much as it hurts losing our beloved pets, as long as we have the health and energy to take care of them, we should keep on adopting them.  What are we going to do with all this love that they leave us with?  We have to give it to another pet.  The loss of a pet opens up another room in your heart.  Somebunny out there is waiting to receive all that love.

[ForeverAutumnFrost]

I’m still having a very hard time with this loss. Thanks for your very kind words.

Valentine’s day came and I have just been in an ocean of tears. We had lost Heartly’s (my little light) beloved big brother (Hatter) on that day last year. The time between losing them was only eleven months. I’m still dealing with my grief from that too.

The doctor got back to me a few weeks ago. The results of the most in depth testing they could do all came back negative. My girl truly was in perfect health. The doctor said ultimately she had an allergic reaction to either the anesthesia or the localized anesthetic that was used. There is no testing that could have detected it. They used the most safe drugs possible. The odds are basically million to one of it happening. It’s like winning the lottery, only the prize is a shattered heart. I had a feeling that would be the case, but I just… I needed to know for sure.

The small mass itself was completely benign too, which we knew beforehand. It was not cancerous in any way. It was unfortunately in a very bad location and there was no other option save removal. It was right by her precious little poo shooter and had been causing her discomfort.

The doctor was also very broken hearted. He truly cared for her. He assured me again I did everything right, that he would have made the same choice if she had been his baby. He gifted me a special keepsake paw print, which is usually a paid for service at his practice. He had hoped anything learned from the tests could have helped him save someone else’s bunny. He’s a good person.

In answer to your question, Heartly was never ever an only bunny. When Hatter passed I adopted a bunny from a local shelter to be Heartly’s new friend. I don’t believe in only having one rabbit, they are such sweet and social creatures. Bunnies have so much love to give, they need a bunny friend to share that love with too. It’s best for their mental and physical health to have a friend.

And my girl truly loved other rabbits. Hatter had been her second bond partner. Her first sadly passed of medical complications before either of them were even two years old. Heartly had so much love in her heart, it was more than her tiny body could hold on to. She was always ready to accept a new bunny friend. Even while working through bonding with her latest friend (Ace) she would cry until she could get close and groom his face.

Unfortunately the little guy I adopted last year had been abused before he was dumped at the shelter by his prior so called “humans”. I don’t fault the overworked and understaffed shelter not seeing the signs of that mental trauma in him. What that means is that he has had certain issues from the loss of Heartly that I was not fully expecting. He actually had huge steps back with his mental progress, to the point I couldn’t even groom him without help. As much as I wanted to take time to just be raw in my feelings I had to do the right thing for him sooner rather than later.

I’m still crying myself to sleep, but seeing him hurt so badly too was too much for me. We just adopted a little girl bun and thankfully Ace’s mental state is improving again.

Fostering is a goal I do have in mind, but for now it’s a longer term goal. I do feel doing that, or anything else to support my local rabbit rescue would be a wonderful way to honor Heartly.

I hope posting photos later is still fine with everyone. I appreciate the support so much. I’m still just finding it so hard to do anything but sob uncontrollably over my photos of her.

[BinkyBunnies05]

I am so sorry for your loss.  I okay ow how hard it is to lose someone you love so dearly.  Over time it will get easier.  I recently lost my baby so I know exactly what you are going through.  I am so sorry about your bunny!  It is so hard when you think that they will be ok because every other time they were.  I send hugs and nothing but good wishes to you!

Kyra Story

[HipHopBunny]

I am soooooo sorry!! <3

They are our dearest companions, and it’s always a huge blow when they’re taken from us. 😥 You did everything any of us here could have done for her and more!! When I read your descriptions of her, I see a happy bun living a very loving life. 🙂 She was so lucky to have had someone as beautiful and caring as you. 🙂 Know that she never actually left you, though. She will always be there; watching over you, and guiding you through the journey you set out here to accomplish. 🙂

We’re always here for you!! Whether you need advice, a shoulder to cry on, or even just a friend to talk to, we are here!!

Smile 🙂 Laugh 🙂 Be happy 🙂

[Bam]

I’m glad you have a good and caring vet. It’s good that you could have a necropsy done, even if it didnt reveal any specific cause. Sadly, anesthesia always comes with a slight risk, both for animals and humans. Now you know there was nothing you or anyone else could’ve done to prevent this. I’m so sorry you lost her, it is very hard to lose a bun.

You are of course welcome to post pictures whenever you feel ready to.  💚

 

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