Easier to bond three singles or a pair + 1?

[Irina]

Hello. I have a general bonding question. I want to know if it is easier to bond three single buns, or bond a pair and then add a third? As I have posted, I had a bonded pair, Tofu and Butterscotch, and was waiting for Shadow to recover from her spay to add her into the mix. Unfortunately, Tofu died suddenly yesterday. He was daughter’s bunny. She really wants another one. We always wanted three- which is why we got three to begin with. I realize that not all bonding attempts are successful, but I really think bonding Shadow and Butterscotch will work out given their history of getting along so well. If I ended up with a pair and a single, that would be ok. I guess my dilemma is- if I am going to get a third, which I really want to do, is it best to do it before bonding Shadow and Butterscotch, and try to bond a threesome,or bond my two, wait until they are settled, then add a third? Also, since I have a male (neutered) and a female (spayed) now, is it generally better to get another male or female? I know there are no guarantees, but want to do all I can to increase my chances of success. Thank you in advance.

[tanlover14]

If I were you, I’d go right for the group bonding. My reasoning behind that stems from what I have encountered while bonding my group. Although bonding two MAY in the short-term be easier than three – you risk breaking up the bond of the two already bonded by bonding them first. It also can really disrupt their bonding if you attempt to add in a third so quickly after bonding them… So personally I’d just do the three altogether. Another reason is you can bond the two but adding in a third will most likely change the dynamics of the group anyways. You will be doing the same process twice. In my opinion, it will be easier on you and the bunnies to just do all three together

All that “it’s easier to bond male and female” is a bunch of baloney to me. It all depends on personality when it comes to bonding rabbits and they all have their own personalities. I have bonded boys that are very difficult and boys that are loves at first sight. It really depends on the personality of the rabbits being bonded – sex has nothing to do with it, in my opinion.

[Irina]

Thanks TL. I was thinking the same thing – re doing it all twice. Having said that, given that Butterscotch just lost Tofu yesterday, (were bonded for 2 weeks), and Shadow was spayed 5 days ago, I will probably be waiting 3-4 weeks to start “pre bonding”. Would it be a good idea to bring in a new bun now- obviously housed desperately from my two- to get the new bun used to our home before trying to bond- or is it too soon to bring a new bunny into our home – I.e, too much stress for Butterscotch. I don’t know if moving more quickly is better as opposed to waiting… My thinking is that it would be easier to get them established together sooner rather than later, once they are set in their own territories. Does this make sense? I know it depends on the age of the bun I get and whether it is already spayed/neutered ect…. But is it reasonable to act sooner rather than later? I know there are no guarantees- but I would live to use the experience out there to increase the odds I will succeed.
Thanks again.

[tanlover14]

I would bring the new bunny home if you have one picked out (or when you do). You can set him up slightly away from her but the idea of a new friend may help her not necessarily harm her. You can decide depending on her reaction. If she doesn’t react well, just set him up so she can’t see him.

I really think it depends on when YOU’RE ready to get a new bunny. You can always work the situation if it upsets her right away but I think the important thing is you’re ready to take the step for a new bunny. When you find one you want, you can go from there. Bring him home, let him get situated and settled into the family. And then see how Butterscotch is doing and whether you think it’s time to start getting everyone acquainted!

[Irina]

Thanks again TL for sharing your knowledge with me. I guess I was thinking I am the most adaptable- so would work around what is best for Butterscotch/Shadow. A couple of other questions if you don’t mind:

1) In picking a new bunny, I know people recommend bunny dates. Where I have two unbonded bunnies- do I try to bring them both to a shelter to see which bun they both like? Do I bring them separately or together? Butterscotch is horrified in the car. That would make it hard for him to fully participate once we get to the shelter won’t it? Is it wrong to pick one out on my own, or perhaps just with Shadow?

2) Both Shadow and Butterscotch are fairly submissive. They groom everyone and everything, and have never shown any aggression towards each other or any one else. When they lived together, they groomed each other. Would I look for another fairly submissive bun, or does there need to be a dominant one in the mix?

3) Does age matter?

4) Should a new bunny be brought into the house in his own space and left to acclimatize for a while before bonding starts? If so, how long is usually recommended?

I realize there are probably no right answers to these questions. I am just looking for guidance- which would come from experience with bunnies (of which I have fairly little of, except for seizures, force feeding, subcutaneous injections, sudden death… …).
I appreciate any advice that you can give. Since things have been rocky, especially for poor Butterscotch being so sick after his neuter, and now losing Tofu, I want to make things as easy for him as I can. Shadow has always been pretty easy going, loving everyone, so I think she will get along fine no matter what we do. (I hope I didn’t just tempt fate…).

Thank you again,

[tanlover14]

1 – In my opinion, bunny dates are easier when you have a single bunny but when you start adding in multiples I’m not sure the bunny dating works as well. The problem with bunny dating with three bunnies is you’re not only working with two rabbits and their personalities meshing – you are working with three rabbits where their personalities and behaviors will depend on how their pecking order ends up. Bringing only one rabbit will, in my opinion, be completely pointless because I’ve always noticed that the behaviors and reactions to the same bunny can be completely different when you add in another bunny. I don’t think it’s wrong to pick them out on your own at all. Do I think it will hurt to take them both bunny dating? Absolutely not. And may make the situation easier as they’ll both be stressed and more accepting of a new bunny in a completely neutral territory. Ultimately, groups are more difficult because there’s more bunnies who need to work out their pecking order. As long as you are willing to put in the time and energy of bonding – I think it’s up to you. I’m a firm believer that any buns can be bonded as long as you’re willing to keep working and not give up – so I will be honest and tell you I have a much more open view when bringing new ones into the group.

2 – You really will just not know until you put another bunny into the mix. I have learned from adding in bunnies that the dynamics between all and any of the rabbits can drastically change when adding another one in. A rabbit that seems extremely submissive can suddenly just “take charge” of the group and declare himself the Top Bun. I really never trust the assumptions of who is dominant and who is submissive when people are talking about rabbits and their personalities though. My fourth Simba is the sweetest little thing ever. He loves and grooms and smootches every human he sees – but he was not accepting of new bunnies AT ALL. He basically went crazy asserting himself in the beginning in my group (in between hiding in corners). So unless the rabbit has actually been exposed to more than one rabbit (with people observing) I don’t believe it’s easy to determine how they will react toward other rabbits. In this sense, it may be easier to bring your two along and see if you can find a bunny that does fairly well with your guys. Again, this is completely your decision. Once again, I’m a FIRM believer that with all the energy, time, stress, etc. any rabbits are bondable or at the very least are able to co-exist peacefully with each other. But sometimes it does take more time than others. Taking both will definitely allow you to get a “sneak-preview” of what their reactions may be towards each other though so I would definitely consider doing this unless you’re very confident you can bond until bonded.

3 – I don’t think age really matters at all. If you’re looking to bond soon, I would try and find one that is already neutered though. (I’m not sure if you plan on going through a rescue or what). If you don’t mind waiting – then I would say go with whoever you want!

4 – I would definitely recommend waiting to bond until the bunny has a chance to develop a relationship with you. Two weeks is a pretty good amount of time to let them settle in and get their surroundings figured out. There’s a few pre-bonding things you can definitely do to help make things smoother before you actually begin bonding though. Definitely do the swamping trick – put a towel or fleece blanket in everyones areas and then every day swap the towels between the cages so everyone is getting everyone elses scent in their area. Do the same thing with the litter by sprinkling a bit of everyones used litter in the others box. You can have them visible to each other (but make sure there’s plenty of space in between so no one can reach paws through) but sometimes this only makes the rabbits more aggressive towards each other so be careful with this technique. This doesn’t mean don’t try it – you can definitely try it and see how it goes after a few nights. If you notice aggressive behavior happening consistently then I would make them not visible to each other until you’re much further into the bonding process.

Guidance is really all you can ask for because there really are NO right answers when it comes to bonding. It’s a big muddle of trying different things and figuring out what works well for your furkids. Don’t stress yourself out about all of this. Enjoy the learning and the challenges. I promise it will all be worth it in the end – I’m on number 5 and it has always been worth it. My biggest advice is to take the bonding at your own pace. Don’t push them to bond too quickly and don’t let yourself become frustrated over what is happening between them. The rabbits NEED to work things out so even if the first few weeks of dating is difficult, you will eventually get through it. If you need a night off, take a night off. If you need three nights off, take them off. The more stressed and frustrated you become – the more the rabbits will pick up on this and the harder the bonding will be. Be relaxed and open. Don’t expect miracles from them. You are teaching them to accept, love, and trust the other rabbits. And just as it is when we are learning to do these things – they take time. Don’t rush yourself or the buns. Just keep chugging along at a pace that is doable for yourself. I’m always here to chat if you need to vent about bonding (believe me, I’ve definitely needed venting sessions while bonding so I’m sure you will too! ). And any questions you have I’ll answer and help in any way I can!

[Irina]

You are awesome TL! It is so helpful to be able to tap into your experience! I am struggling to decide what to do right now. Butterscotch and Shadow are grooming each other through their adjoining pen wall! I know it is too early to start bonding them given her recent spay (only 1 week ago), and Tofu’s sudden passing ( 2 days ago)- but my instincts tell me that the sooner Butterscotch can be with Shadow, the happier he will be. (I know I could be so wrong when the time comes….). The animal rescue in my area does not have any rabbits right now. There are two available through a local farm that are about 1 month younger than mine, and so could be neutered fairly soon. That would mean waiting At least another 4-6 weeks before starting to get them together. And as I write this, I think I have made my decision. I really want to start pre bonding in the next week or two- swapping poo, blankets, stuffies and eventually cages. I know there is no way to tell, (and I hope I am not in for a rude awakening…) but Shadow and Butterscotch have always gotten along- I think they will be relatively easy to get together- and perhaps after everything that Butterscotch has been through, maybe that is the best thing for him- Finding comfort in a familiar friend.

Having said that, I may regret the decision in a few months when I finally get my third, and try to have them live as a happy family. Although maybe in a few months, after things have settled down, I can get 2 more instead of just 1….

I will post updates and will start a new thread when starting to bond my cuties (they are the two in my profile picture!)

[tanlover14]

They are absolutely adorable, Irina.

I’m glad I could help a little It sounds like they are seeking comfort after the loss of Tofu. Which is GOOD! You can allow them to continue to be together in that sense (close together through the bars). They will continue to seek comfort and you can definitely start doing things to swap their toys, blankets, litter, etc. right away. It won’t hurt either of them!

[Irina]

Butterscotch + Shadow + love = ? me. Good night Tofu ? !

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