Desperate need of bonding help

[tundra&eve]

Apologies ahead of time for the long explanation! Tundra and Eve are my boyfriend and my first bunnies, and I am worried our mistakes may have ruined the possibility of our bunnies ever bonding. 

 We first got Tundra (born Oct 2017, ~5 lbs) from a home that took very poor care of her. She was the only rabbit at our previous apartment. She had a cage set up we DIYd from a piece of furniture we had, but she was free range whenever we were home which is quite often. We read that rabbits are very social and we wanted to make sure Tundra wasn’t lonely. Tundra had not been spayed yet, and we did not entirely understand the implications of this. 

 After having her for about 2 weeks, we decided to adopt a spayed bunny at a local rescue league. We thought we would be able to do prebonding prior to spaying Tundra (or naively hoped that we may not have to spay Tundra after being warned by one vet we called that it was a dangerous procedure). Well, we set up Eve (unknown age, dwarf bun ~3lbs) in the bathroom that Tundra was never allowed to enter. We put up a door blocker we had been using to block off rooms to block of the bathroom instead of fully closing the door . Tundra now had enough incentive that she made it over the gate that had been working initially, and they got into a fight. We separated them and poor Eve had hair pulled, but no-one was bleeding.

 After this the two were in separate spaces in the apartment for a couple days. We then obtained a taller gate that we saw being used at the rescue league for their buns. We then allowed them to actually see each other through a gated doorway when they both had free roam times in the areas that only had their respective scents. Eve would go up to the gate and seem excited to see another bun, didn’t try to nip and didn’t have an aggressive posture. Tundra would initially seem curious/nice/touch Eve’s nose, and then her body language would change, but before any aggressive behavior would occur we would push her away gently with a broom. This went on for about a week and a half until we moved apartments. We hoped the neutral territory would improve the situation. 

At our new place we set them up side by side with the cages far enough apart so they couldn’t touch each other after Tundra tried to paw at Eve. We would let them take turns free roaming. Eve was happy to run around, binky, play with toys, etc and would go up to Tundra’s cage, but not harass her the whole time. Tundra while free roaming would play but not nearly as much as Eve and was more interested and scratching and biting at Eves cage. After a couple of free roams of constantly trying to distract Tundra, we started using tapestries over the walls so Tundra could not see into Eve’s cage which did seem to help. When they were both in their respective cages they did not seem to do the territorial poops or anything and often they would lay down, nuzzle noses, or even flop on the close sides of their cages. I was hoping that meant there was still a possibility, but with the bad vibes Tundra had we had decided to spay her and made an appointment. 

  After about 2 weeks of being in the new apartment (last Thursday), the appointment was one day away, and my boyfriend and I were in class. Our housemate gave us a call because he had heard a commotion upstairs. He walked into find that Tundra and jumped over her cage, (which was much taller than the previous gate we were using and she had never done this before. They got into a bloody fight. Eve’s hair was everywhere, and she had a light scratch on her tummy. Tundra had a large gouge in her forehead, and another bite or hair chunk pulled on her neck.  He separated and waited with Tundra while we rushed home. We were able to get into the same vet were were going to bring her for her spay appointment (I am leaving out the name of the hospital and vet because we had a bad experience and I know that its against the rules). After all the trauma, Tundra was clearly terrified and in pain, and the vet was not gentle with her wound.After being used to a very communicative vet  who allows people to stay with the pet during any procedure, I was shocked that Tundra was taken to another room and “cleaning the wound” meant 8 staples without any pain medication! I am still appalled and still feel sick that I didn’t make a stand and ask for direct details or that we really wanted to be present. We left with antibiotics that we have been giving with fruit puree. Eve was physically fine and later the same day she was binkying and flopping. 

After all of that stress we cancelled the spay appointment because Tundra was so shaken up, and we certainly were never returning to that veterinary hospital. When we returned home with her we brought Tundra into a separate room. They have been separated ever since and have separate free roam spaces. There really isn’t anything exchanging scents between them other than air flow and the clothes we wear.

SO… I guess what I am hoping to know is when we are able to find an animal hospital we are comfortable with and Tundra can be spayed is there a chance they could still bond? I know we are willing to keep them separate for months if need be, we just really want them to be able to live together so their combined play pen could be much bigger, and they would both have our whole apartment to roam. I do realize no-one can positively say that they will bond I just want to know if there is any chance? We love them both, and if they don’t bond I will feel like we are putting stress in their lives and don’t know if it would be selfish of us of keeping them both. This has been such a stressful experience and we are both feeling so guilty for not understanding rabbits enough and allowing this to happen. 

Thank you so so much for taking the time to read this!

[jerseygirl]

Welcome to the forums!

You’ve had a bit of a rocky road. I can understand why you’ve lost confidence in some vets also.

I do believe most rabbits can bond. It can depend on how much opportunity their owners are willing or able to give for that to happen. It can be really time consuming and not everyone is in a position to be able to dedicate that time. Not to mention how stressful it can be when it’s your own rabbits. Our own relationship with each can factor in when attempting to bond rabbits. They might compete for our attention, us being their food-bringer and all. Lol ! 

The bonding process about trust building between the 2 rabbits, in a neutral space. Once that’s acheived, they’ll transistion to a shared living space. Even bonded, they can still have little squabbles if one is more dominant or they covet an item, but they will normally sort it out without full out fighting. 

Given Tundra is still only 4-5 month old, I would take some time to let her mature and have her spay completed and plenty of time passed for those hormones to completely level out. Then approach bonding. It will also give time for them to go back to enjoying company with the barrier between them and move past the nastiness. It will give time for your own nerves to settle too.
The fights happen when territory is breached. There is the old fight-flight response and when it’s a fight with teeth, damage easily happens. 

   

This has been such a stressful experience and we are both feeling so guilty for not understanding rabbits enough and allowing this to happen.

Try not to be too hard on yourselves.

This year marks 10 years that Ive had rabbits. So Ive learnt a lot during that time. Not everything, never everything.  But just last year (or maybe it was 2016??) I had my 2 girls get into a fight and one required staples. They are each bonded to a male and the 2 pairs share a room with a fence dividing the middle. They managed to skew the fence and one went under and into the other territory. 

Some years back, I had 2 boys get into a tussle while I was at work. One is single and the other was recently widowed. The widowed bun managed to go over a door barrier I was certain would contain him. He was 7yrs old and in the 5 years that I had h=d him, he had never attempted to challenge that height before. He was in a different room to where I usually had him. Had I kept him where I normally did, I don’t think he would have even attempted to break out. 

We often talk about bun-proofing on here, but I sometimes wonder if there truly can be such a thing. Rabbits have ways…

[tundra&eve]

Thank you so much for your help. We are more than willing to put in the time/effort for them so the current plan is to find a trustworthy vet so Tundra can get spayed and then keep them separated for a few months. Hopefully, after that period time we can again start swapping items to swap scents and then keep their cages in the same room with sufficient space between them and try for a verrrrry slow bonding process. We are more than willing to work on this for them.
Thanks again for your advice!

[LBJ10]

I agree with Jersey. I think most bunnies can be bonded… some are just more difficult (sometimes much more) than others. Hormones certainly don’t help anything either and the presence of a hormonal rabbit can even trigger a spayed/neutered rabbit.

I think giving Tundra some time to get spayed and to calm down will go a long way. Hopefully they will both “forget” and you can start the bonding process when they are ready.

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