Debating about 15 year old bunny’s end journey

[Dudubunny]

Hi everyone,
I just registered here when I was looking online for answers. My 15 year old girl bunny Dudu has been generally declining in the past 1.5 years. Now she can’t control her hind legs much and this past several days she could only stand up for a while but can’t really move more than 2steps before falling sideways. She has lost 30% of her weight in the past 1.5 year because she became less and less interested in her pellets. We tried adding sunflower seeds several times a day and switching to young bunny pellets but it didn’t help her stop the weight loss trend. But otherwise she had been really healthy and active and like her normal self, eating lots of hay and loves veggies and pets etc. Anyway, nowadays she is on pain meds (matacam and another opioid?) still loves pets and gives kisses and somewhat interested in veggies and fruit but eating a lot less. I gave her critical care a few times a day and she nibbles on hay a little, not as before she would be nibbling on hay throughout the day. And she spends most of her time lying down and sleeping. And she has lost control of poop and pee so we try hard to keep her clean. Our vet says she is near her end and that when she is just lying all day we should consider euthanasia. Well, she is lying down all day but still enjoys our pets and gives kisses and eat a little when we offer. So I do not know what to do. Because we have an oversea trip coming up in 10 days. I will be there for a month and my husband will be home after 2 weeks. So I don’t know if we should put her to sleep before we leave or have a committed pet sitter tending her for 2 weeks (but what if she suddenly passes during that time?). I so wish to stay with her until the end but don’t want to risk not being here but now she seems still interested in life, I just don’t feel ready to put her down now.
Any suggestions? Thanks so much. She is my first real pet (other than chicks when I was a kid) and have been with me since grad school and have moved with us all over the country. I am not ready to let her go.

[Phil]

What a wonderful age I would let her die peacefully don’t put her to sleep unless she’s pain. X

[pinknfwuffy]

I am sorry to hear you are going through this difficult time. What a wonderfully long, happy life Dudu has had.

You know her best and are the only one who can make such a difficult decision. That said, your vet seems to have indicated that her decline seems to have taken a turn recently and you have observed her difficulties first-hand. Most people do try to wait until their rabbit lets them know when they are ready (i.e. losing interest in the things they love, being inactive, and changes in their personality). Sometimes it is harder to tell when it is truly time.

Having to travel for a long period of time does make this tricky and I realize how difficult it must be to leave not knowing is she will make it until you are home. Either scenario is heartbreaking but one allows you to be with her and to say to goodbye, which may be something that is important to you.

I went through this with my family’s dog. He was suffering from pancreatic cancer and we had watched him decline for over a year. Medication got him through the last six months but he was in a lot of pain and there was no cure. We had a family trip coming up and the day before we left he was not himself, staggering in pain, and losing control of his bladder. We made the decision to put him down after a lot of careful consideration and time spent making his last moments comfortable and as joyful as possible. It was devastating but also a blessing to be able to care for him during his last moments knowing he wasn’t alone or surrounded by strangers.

You know Dudu’s spirit best. No matter what decision you make she knows she is loved and you did everything you could to make her happy.

[Doodler]

Dudubunny I am also very sorry for what you are going through. I know how hard it is to make this decision. When I had to make this decision for my dog I knew the recommendation is usually to make a list of their favorite things and track which ones they were still able to enjoy. I found this difficult to do because for the most part she still could enjoy most but not nearly at the same level. Even if she was able to enjoy it in the slightest I counted it as a win. I ended up taking too long to make the decision and by the time I was willing to acknowledge it was time I didn’t think she was even going to live through the car ride to the vet’s office. I sometimes feel guilt that I selfishly kept her around longer than what was fair to her. With that said I had 100% confidence it was time. The other times I take peace in knowing that she was her typical amazing self and clearly showed me when it was time so I never have to live with the guilt of having it possibly done too soon.

I agree that you are the only one that will be able to know when it is time. I would just make sure you are considering her qualify of life along with her comfort level. Since you are saying she is still interested in life and you are not ready I wouldn’t make a decision just based on your scheduled trip. The way I think of that is that any of our pets can pass away when we are out of the house, sleeping, etc. I had one of my bunnies die when I was down the hallway and I had just looked in on them an hour earlier. Although it’s nice to be there for them when it’s their time it doesn’t always happen that way. She is clearly well loved and cared for and I am sure she knows it. Again I am so sorry.

[jerseygirl]

Copy of a reply from the duplicate thread which is now locked. – Jerseygirl

Posted By Dface on 1/17/2019 7:50 AM 

The hardest part of owning animals is letting them go when you dont want to. 

You have given your bunny a loved life, and have cared for her diligently, but from what you have written, her quality of life right now is very poor. If she was mine, i would put her to sleep before I left, because I would not trust another person to care for her the way I would or for her to not be scared of a new human. 

The decision to put a pet to sleep is often done with the aim to end suffering, or to prevent future inevitable suffering, which your bunny will face of left to continue. 

Euthanasia is a kindness. Its a burden to those who have to make the decision, but you will get to say goodbye, and you wont risk not being there if something does go wrong. 

It is an awful decision to have to make and im so so sorry that you’ll have to make a decision either way.

[JLH]

I would not want my bunny to die without me being with her, so I myself would have the vet put her to sleep while I hold her. I would not leave her to die with a stranger. God this is making me cry.

Edit: I was so heartbroken during my first post I didn’t really finish, I would like to add that I feel the bunny no longer has good quality of life, I could only imagine his pain even more knowing that he is in fact on pain meds. my dog of 15 years had an enlarged heart during his last year of life, he still wanted to play like a puppy but his heath issue caused him to collapse and cough when he tried to run and play, and he would look at me with sad eyes and confusion as he didn’t understand what was going on. it was hard too do but I had him peacefully put to sleep by his vet while I held him. I was sad for awhile but also relieved that he was no longer suffering and we were able to say goodbye to each other.

[Doodler]

I thought I would add one more thing. I have one suggestion that I am not sure you may have tried already. I would recommend going back and reading your post and try looking at it through an outside perspective. For me I think it would help if I had written exactly what you did but then went back and looked at it as if it was someone else who was asking the question. How would you respond? From the information provided does it sound to you like a good quality of life? Does it sound like it’s really the person that is not ready to let go? or Does it sound like there is still a life worth living and someone is just fearful of not being there if something were to happen? I know it’s hard since it is so personal but I think you might just find your answer.

I also wanted to clarify in case it wasn’t clear that I also would absolutely want to be there for any pet’s passing (as most people would) but I wouldn’t beat myself up if I couldn’t be there for a good reason. I just wouldn’t want to rush into a decision just over the fear something may happen so that is why I would not use that in my decision process.

[Phil]

I still think and regret taking my Jasper to vet even now I always feel should I have taken him would he still be here. Very hard to let go of our amazing bunnies, in a way I still think of him alive as I never saw him dead, that would for me have been even worse, you have had Dudu a very long time, how much longer will she live, if she’s in pain it is kindest thing to put her to sleep, she had a wonderful long life with you, and I know how much you must love her, life is hard and we as owners have to make very hard decisions. X

[Dudubunny]

Thanks so very much for everyone’s kind and thoughtful replies! It’s comforting to read your experience and realize I’m not alone in this. Thank you!
Well, I’m still sort of debating. On Thursday I weighed her again and found she keeps losing weight so I realized she is not going to come back this time and I leaned towards the decision of taking her to euthanasia this weekend. I almost already made up my mind but yesterday and today she seemed more active, eating more hay and veggies and sunflower seeds, still super interested in grooming both herself and others and enjoys our pets. She will stand up for longer time if supported on both sides, not lying down all the time. So sigh…..I changed my mind again and want to continue to monitor her into next week. I guess it’s the small day to day variations that swing me in my decision making. I guess I keep hoping with even the smallest hope that she will make a comeback again this time, using a cart for her hindlegs. But in reality probably she will live another one month or so (judging from her trend of weight loss) if we can care for her as we are doing now. We are leaving in 10 days. I still have time to decide. Thanks everyone again! I will keep you updated. Have a great weekend!

[Phil]

Seems like she’s doing well, don’t put her to sleep, you will always wonder if you did right thing. Very hard to sign their death warrant.

[Doodler]

I am glad she is having some better days!  It makes it especially hard when they swing from good days to bad to finalize such a huge decision.  I agree that the best thing to do is to take the days you have until your trip to weigh how those day to day variations are looking.  Honestly by monitoring her weight closely like you are this might give you a clear answer.  I was shocked at how much my sweet dog lost when it was time to say good bye to her.

Please do not look at this as signing her ‘death warrant’ like was previously stated.  Euthanasia is not a death warrant.  It is the hardest thing we have to do as pet owners but it is also the kindest, selfless and most loving thing we can do for them. 

Definitely keep us posted and of course make sure you are giving that sweetie as many snuggles, nose rubs and pets she can handle.

[bear_the_bunny]

Just something to help you with this hard time:

1. Is she able to take care of her needs?

2. Is she happy?

3. How does she interact with other rabbits?

4. How does she interact with you?

The second one is very important.  A lot of pet owners euthanize their pet because it is simply miserable with its conditions.  I know that we put down my cat a few years ago because he threw up everywhere, laid down in one place, was irritable, and couldn’t groom himself.  He just seemed horribly sad.  She seems to be happy right now, so I would agree with you to monitor her before your vacation.  Also, as Doodles said, please don’t consider euthanasia cruel.   It’s usually the best thing you can do for a suffering and miserable pet.  Always remember we’re here for you, no matter what you decide. <3

[Dudubunny]

Thanks everyone for your kind words. We put her to sleep this morning. It is a sunny beautiful day. She passed away really peacefully. My husband and I took turns holding her.
She couldn’t move by herself and was eating less this past week, but she was still social. That was what made it really hard to commit to the decision but we know she probably won’t last another 2 weeks before my husband returns from our oversea trip and even then I won’t come back for another 2 weeks. We both want to be with her in the end, so we made the decision and I think she would prefer to be with us too.
I still remember a few months after I adopted her (a friend found her in her yard and it was obvious she was a pet, lost or abandoned) I took her to a vet hospital for the spaying surgery, and they said they needed to keep her overnight in observation after the surgery to make sure she was fine. When I went to pick her up the next morning, when she came out of the door in the tech’s arms and saw me, her eyes were SO HAPPY. I will always her eyes and how she perked up at the moment when she saw me coming back for her. She must have been miserable after the surgery and they used a lot of artificial tears in her eyes after the surgery so she looked like she had been crying. Anyway, that’s when I felt my heart ached and felt that deep bond with her. She was so happy to see me.
She was very sweet but also had some spunk in her. One time we pet sat a kitty and she chased the kitty around the living room until he was so scared and stayed in a corner in the kitchen. She also stoop up to face a 50lb dog and wouldn’t back down.
Our other bunny is taking a nap next to her body right now. I thought we would give him time to say goodbye. We will bury her tomorrow.
Thanks everyone for your kindness and comforting words.

[JLH]

I’m am so sorry for your loss and wish you peace at this hard time. take care of yourself and know she is resting in peace now with no more pain. this is just so sad.

[Doodler]

I am so sorry for the loss of Dudu. It sounds like she showed you it was time and you made the right decision for her. I am glad you and your husband were able to be with her. No matter how long we have them in our lives it never is long enough.

What wonderful memories you have of such a spunky girl.

Giving your boy time is absolutely the right thing to do.

[Phil]

Arrr so sorry for your loss of Dudu she had had a wonderful long life, you must be proud of how much you cared and looked after her, 15 years is a long time looked like she new it was her time to go, what a beautiful bunny she was, very sad xx

[Author]

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