Dealing with Death if Bonded Rabbit

[Steph]

I’ve had two bonded male rabbits for the last 4-5yrs. They are around 9 I believe. One of rabbits died suddenly today, about 9hrs after coming home from the vet. He was there the last two days, due to gi stasis. They pumped his stomach two days ago and was eating hay before I picked him up. He crashed pretty hard about 9hrs later after I picked him up to give him pain meds and critical care. I tried performing cpr, but it didn’t help. Autopsy showed another mass forming in his tummy and tumor forming on his liver. I feel sick with grief that I didn’t leave him at vet, but thought he would get better at home. He was wheezing from the stomach pump, but seemed fine most of the day, even though he was eating hay.

My question is, what should I do now that one bonded mate is gone. My other rabbit was the submissive and was constantly cared for by the one that died. I’m not sure if he will last long without another rabbit, but I don’t really want to deal with getting another one.

[HipHopBunny]

Oh, @Steph I’m so sorry. <3. The best thing to do for his mate is to show her the body. Leave her alone for an hour, then quietly check on her. If you don’t show her the body, she could think he’s lost and leave poop or other trails for him to find his way back. Some rabbits go into a depression, mine have not done this, but I have heard of others doing so. I don’t know what to do if that happens, hopefully, others will. I know that you mentioned that you don’t want to deal with getting another rabbit, but that might be what is best for her. See how she handles it, if she does sink into depression, then it could be best. See how you feel tomorrow too.

Don’t beat yourself up! Horrible things happen, you had a good intention on your mind. Have a few good cries, get it all out, cuddle your other bunny close. Sometimes it can help with the grieve to look at old photos or videos of him, to remember happy times. But don’t get lost in the grief. Don’t lose who you were before. It will not hurt his memory, or spirit to laugh, to smile, it will honor him. He wants you to be happy, not depressed over him grieving. He will want to rest in peace over the bridge with the knowledge that you and his old mate are happy and well. Smile 🙂 Laugh 🙂 Be happy 🙂

 

[Steph]

Thank you so much for the reply. I’m between sad and a little mad at the vets office. Did the really check to see he had no bowel obstruction forming before they released him and they told it was ok he was eating hay since he ate some this morning before I picked him up.  He was in pain and dying and I didn’t know.

I took Morgan to the vets off soon after he died, they performed an autopsy and kept them for cremation pickup Monday. When I came home Ralph was on his hind legs looking to see if he came home, even though he died right in front of him.  I saw Morgan fall and started cpr right away then left with him after I couldn’t save him.  I didn’t know they needed time together until I read online but called vet and they are letting me drop off Ralph today to be with Morgan for a bit.

I’m new to the city and couldn’t find a rescue online but I’ll ask. Maybe I can foster. Ralph is older mini otter lop that has chronic eye issues that my old vet said would probably not live past 7 because of his breed, but he’s around 9 now. I know there is joy in being a rabbit owner, but I don’t think I can sign up for another 10yrs right now. I’m. In New Orleans and we have two hurricanes headed towards us this week. It’s not easy with rabbits .

[HipHopBunny]

Again, my heart goes out to you! <3 You and Ralph can be a comfort to each other, getting another rabbit is not easy, I understand. Especially when there are hurricanes to worry about. Stay safe, we are always here if you need support or comfort. 🙂

[Steph]

Thank you. I took Ralph to see Morgan today. It was pretty uneventful, so he may have already known. Vet placed Morgan with towels on ground, sort of close to Ralph who went to a corner in the room. Vet left us, Ralph didn’t do much but sniff him once and put his head down, like he usually does when Morgan cares for him, when I pushed him forward to Ralph. Another half hour, Ralph just staying in the corner not moving, even when I kept pushing Morgan to him. He sniffed Morgan’s chest which was freshly washed about 30 mins later. We spent a little over an hour together, but resolved at that point it was enough.  Clipped Ralph’s nails then came home.

[Steph]

I reached out to rescue about fostering but will wait till after the storm. I’m getting stuffed animals for Ralph to see if that helps.

[DanaNM]

I’m so sorry for your loss. 🙁

I’ve had to deal with the loss of a bonded mate a couple times now (unfortunately), and so far you are doing exactly what I recommend.

Since Ralph was able to see Morgan, he will likely be ok. You are right in that he likely did know he was dying before you did. He might be a bit quieter than normal for a bit. Just try to spend some extra time together and you can grieve together. Rabbits show depression in different ways (some are very quiet, some get very destructive, etc), the main thing is just to make sure he is eating and pooping normally.

If he seems very depressed immediately (not eating, etc.), I think fostering is a good idea. Sometimes just having another rabbit around perks them up, and is a good option for if you aren’t quite sure what you want to do.

You also might find that Ralph seems just fine, and then you don’t need to stress about finding him another friend if you don’t want to.

If you end up choosing to rebond, you might consider another senior bun, as they are often in need of homes. Also, sometimes when a bun looses their bonded friend they will re-bond very easily (not always though).

So lots to consider, but no need to rush into anything. Just take some time to take care of Ralph and yourself.

So sorry again for your loss. <3

 

. . . The answers provided in this discussion are for general guideline purposes only. The information is not intended to diagnose or treat your pet. Seek the advice of your veterinarian or a qualified behaviorist.  

[Steph]

You don’t know how much your words mean to me. Not many people understand the bond that rabbits have with one another. I know people with just one rabbit and don’t understand how they could do that to them.

I got a bunch of stuffed animals and that really seems to help, but he’s definitely not his perky self. But he is still eating still.  When Morgan is was at vet and we were waiting for his return he was doing great, but since he came home and died, he is no longer 100%.

Anyways I truly want to thank you for responding and giving me some reassurance I’m doing what’s best for my remaining rabbit.  The vet didn’t want to admit to any wrong doing when I asked again about what they told me, he would be fine and wait till tomorrow.  I was not accusatory, just want to know what would have made the difference. She did say that the tumor on the liver was not caught on X-ray and he would have started presenting with symptoms in just a few weeks if he didn’t die. At least he was home. I rubbed his head all day.

[HipHopBunny]

My heart is with you. 😥 I am very happy that you have Ralph, so you both can help each other through this difficult time. Agree with @DanaNM, fostering can be good, but only when you are ready. You might not even have to do fostering at all. Whatever will make you happy is the right choice, don’t feel pressured into making a decision, and I am sorry if I pushed you towards getting another bun when you don’t feel that was the right choice. We all grieve differently, whether that is in a group of buns, or whether that is spending more time with the one you have, or those could not be what seems right to you.

Do what you feel is best, think through your heart, don’t reason things out, do what you feel is correct. I am sure Ralph will agree too. I am glad that he is not sinking into depression, but don’t sink into grief either! Find something that makes you smile. 🙂

[Steph]

Thanks all, it was another tough day getting up extra early preparing the outside for the coming storm, then taking Ralph to see Morgan.  I placed plush animals in all his favorite spots (he is free roaming).   He posted himself under my bed all day, but ate some hay, a little treats, then his greens. I had to pick up and take him back to his room and sit him on the litter box, which he hated, but he had stools he was holding. They always slept in my room just on the left of my bed and he seems to be getting some comfort in that.

I do want the rest of life filled with joy, not boredom and grief. I love the guy and give him plenty of attention, but I’m not a rabbit and can’t give him 100% what he really needs. That said, I’m not sure if another rabbit will end up stressing him out or not.

[HipHopBunny]

Sounds as though he and you are both in a state of grief. 🙁 I am happy though that you are striving to be happy, for that’s all we should and need to do in these difficult times. Find the joy in every day, not the sorrow. 🙂

It could stress him out, or it could help him. Can you try fostering? That could tell you if it will be good, or stressful. An important question to take into account though, is will it make you happy too? If it won’t, there are other solutions. No, you won’t be there full-time, but you both need to be happy. When I first got new rabbits after my beloved bridge bunny died, I felt like they were imposters, but now I love them all to pieces and wouldn’t trade the world for them. But if you feel as though you could not find happiness in that option, then don’t take it. Whatever you think is best, is the right thing to do. If it feels right, don’t question it. 🙂

[Steph]

I live alone and the house actually feels emptier with just one rabbit.  I may need to get another rabbit to foster, for me as well.  I always had solace to know they had a each other to keep company and their personalities were so different, which was a joy.

I would like to find Ralph another companion for him, which would help me as well, but I don’t think I’ll get another rabbit, after Ralph is gone. They are so delicate, Morgan died from stress of being sick and handled too much, no idea still what was the actual cause.

[HipHopBunny]

Then, if getting another bun feels like the right choice, I say go for it. 🙂 Mine helped me get over grief, and bring a smile to my face every day. 😀 Different personalities do make for a unique pair. As DanaNM said above, getting a senor bun could be a good option, can you do speed dates in your area? See who Ralph gets along best with? I’m sure the lucky bun you choose, their life will begin that day. 🙂 Keep us posted, we are always here for you!

[Steph]

Thanks, would prefer a senior but worried about dealing with health issues. Not sure if I’m on the hook with all medical expenses if I foster. I spent $600 on Morgan, hours before he died. Spent thousands on Ralph and his eye issues, and gi stasis, a while back. Frankly I’m shocked that Ralph is doing well, he was my sick bunny at beginning and Morgan only had one lipoma removal. He was the strong one.

[HipHopBunny]

Hmm, I haven’t fostered before. Maybe if you try speed dates and find a good bun, you could see If you could foster them? Are there rabbit rescues in your area? I am sure you will know when you find the right bun. 🙂

[Steph]

There are none in my city of New Orleans but there is one a little outside. I really don’t want subject my rabbit to the ride and he would be so shaken by it he would not be able to meet other rabbits. I’ll just have to make my best guess, if I go that route.

Currently Ralph is doing great, I think the plushies and popping him on the toilet earlier revived him a bit.

[HipHopBunny]

I would wait a while before adopting another rabbit, for I don’t want too much stress for you and Ralph. Has he ever been on a car ride that long? If he has, then I would say when he is perkier maybe take him on the ride? I share your concerns on that, and hopefully, some other members on here will be able to help you with it, but for now, rest, and be happy. If you go to the Rabbit Rescue though, and pick the wrong one, well, that would be very frustrating. When rabbits bond, as you said, they bond deeply, and truly, or they don’t bond at all. I am glad we have this forum of a bunny-loving community. It is nice to be able to talk with people who see the value of a rabbit, being not just a typical bun, but a good friend and companion to have around. 🙂

Re-reading all of the posts on this topic, it has become very clear to me how much care, time, and effort you give your rabbits, and how much thought you put into life and the well-being of everyone around you. 🙂 You take very good care of your rabbits, and don’t be shocked that Ralph is still alive – he has a great life and bond with you, one deep and strong, one no one could ever break. 🙂 You do a lot for your buns, and have nothing to be ashamed of! I think the reason he isn’t in a deeper depression, is because he has you, a light so bright, it could make even the grumpiest rabbit/person smile. 🙂 This will be my last post on this topic, as I feel I am becoming a nuisance. 😛 I wish you the very best of luck though and hope that you find the perfect bun, which I am sure you will. 🙂

[Steph]

I appreciate the kind words and response. Yes we all drove from San Diego to New Orleans, almost one yr to the day. They were okay for the trip after the first couple of hours, but the trama Of car rides is present again, because they aren’t used to it. They, lol. Ralph I mean. I think taking him to see Morgan again was extremely important.  It may have lessened his grief.

I’m giving him a lot of attention as always and trying to see if the stuffed animals will help by petting him with it to transfer scent.

Anyways thank you all so much, you’ve helped me ten fold. My first pet loss as an adult (43,  military no pets before) and it was pretty traumatic, but if Ralph can power through it, I can.

[DanaNM]

I’m glad to hear Ralph is doing well. 🙂 <3

Also please don’t feel guilty at all for Morgan. Often when it is a bun’s time to go, it presents like something else. So we try all the normal things, and then they just crash. It is obvious you took great care of him and did everything you could with the information you had.

To address an above point, you are not responsible for costs while fostering. The idea is that you give a nice home while the rabbit is still up for adoption, so the shelter would cover medical expenses etc. Or some shelters have a “foster to adopt” program, so you can see if the bun is a good fit for your home.

When my Bertha died last Christmas, I fostered these two little bonded brothers right away because I was very worried about Bun Jovi and just couldn’t bear the thought of seeing him alone, but I had no intentions of bonding them right away or even adopting them necessarily. It was really helpful for me and I think it helped him a lot.

If and when you decide to try fostering, you might ask the shelter if there are any buns there that would really benefit from it. Some buns really languish in the shelter environment, so fostering can help them become more adoptable.

Regarding age, it’s important to consider, but I will say I adopted my Bun Jovi when he was 9. He’s now almost 12 and is the love of my life. <3  Before him, I had adopted a 1 year old to bond with Bertha, but he suddenly passed away after only 6 months (he seemed to have some genetic problems or possibly bone cancer.. it’s a long story). So you really just never know with bunnies, even when you give them good care. Maybe a compromise would be middle aged… so you have some sort of baseline on their health?

But yes, so glad Ralph is coping ok! You two can comfort each other. Give him some nose rubs for me! <3

. . . The answers provided in this discussion are for general guideline purposes only. The information is not intended to diagnose or treat your pet. Seek the advice of your veterinarian or a qualified behaviorist.  

[Steph]

So it’s been a decent week, but I could tell my bun was missing something in his life. He has spending most of his time under my bed and caught him grooming a small stuffed bunny yesterday. Now that the weather has cleared, I was determined to get him a companion today. I ended up picking up a young small dwarf rabbit from a lady who was moving. The intro seemed good at first, but young rabbit was probably overwhelmed by the changes and room to run around. She started humping poor Ralph after 35 mins of intros. Ralph perked up by her presence but is very stressed out by all the chasing.  I have her now in a large crate in his room. I initially divided the room with an extra X pen, but Ralph wasn’t having that.  They are both relaxed being separate, but every time I open her crate, she goes after him and stress him out. It’s her first night, so I’ll keep trying, but I don’t want to keep stressing out Ralph and holding her in crate.  They both want to be the ones groomed it seems, not sure if this will work or if he is destined to be alone now.

[DanaNM]

Oh wow! Sorry for the delay in responding to this, was away on a trip.

How are things going now? Are you planning to bond or just foster?

In either case, you should not allow interaction in in Ralph’s main area. It’s also a good idea to let her settle in with no interactions with Ralph for about a week or more. Then if you want to bond them, you can start pre-bonding (cage swaps). If you haven’t bonded rabbits before I recommend checking out the bonding section under the Bunny Info tab at the top of this page.

. . . The answers provided in this discussion are for general guideline purposes only. The information is not intended to diagnose or treat your pet. Seek the advice of your veterinarian or a qualified behaviorist.  

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