Can Bunnies not know how to groom? ( and bonding progress)

[Nonvieta]

This is my first time bonding two rabbits…and it’s been a long time coming.  I had my first rabbit, Peanut, a mini-lop/holland-lop mix since he was a baby (technically I adopted him from a family member who didn’t know what they were getting into!) and yesterday, after a somewhat long search, we brought home a second bunny from our local bunny rescue.  She was rescued from a hoarding situation but you would never know from how friendly and laid back she is!  We are still picking a name for her…I wanted to wait until we got to know her a bit first. 

 

 

Their initial date session at the shelter went pretty well…most of the other girls showed too much aggression but the two of them seemed content enough to lay down and groom themselves in the ex-pen together. They sat nose to nose very happily for a long time while getting pet, and she even groomed him several times! 

I feel bad though that despite her constant presenting her head to him, shoving it under his chin whenever they sat together, he just won’t groom her!  I know at home he has never groomed anything or anyone other than himself…even the cat who likes to groom his head for him occasionally.  Our new girl seems to get confused or frustrated by his lack of reciprocation and I’m worried that their bonding might not work as well if he doesn’t groom her. 

We did our first bonding session today in an ex-pen in the kitchen, an area Peanut is not allowed to roam; I think girl bun is still getting used to her new home because she seemed more worried about me, and the surroundings than trying to make friends with him.  Should I take time to get to know her, and gain her trust before trying to bond the two of them, or should it be simultaneous?  She definitely seemed more on edge during this session than the one at the shelter…there were some ears back and an occasionally thump and snort (although the thumping and snorting happened at the shelter too in the beginning! I tried a bit of the banana on her forehead, which is conveniently, Peanut’s FAVOURITE, but she cleaned it off herself before he even noticed!!

 I am wondering if it is possible that Peanut doesn’t know how to groom?  He came from a pet store as a very little baby and sometimes I worry he didn’t really learn everything about rabbit etiquette, if that’s possible.  He doesn’t even act like a rabbit in many regards!  I think he learned more from our cat than might have been good for him.  This is challenging for me too, because despite having had Peanut for two years, girl bun is a whole knew experience for me!  Much of her rabbit-body-language is new to me…thumping, grunting, mobile ears…these are all things Peanut lacks!  Can rabbits have trouble understanding each other if they are inexperienced with other buns?

I might be over analyzing the whole situation!  I am very hopefully that I can get these two successfully bonded though, so they can both live fuller, happier lives!  I’ll be updating and documenting their progress here….and probably asking a lot of questions each step of the way!!

[Sarita]

Well grooming is not a necessity in bonding rabbits but even if they do, it can take awhile – rarely on the first bonding session for sure – they are assessing each other and figuring out if they even trust each other. But as you mention, rabbits can learn new behaviors (good and bad) from other rabbits which is part of the trust that they have to develop.

Really, don’t force grooming – it’s not totally necessary – trust is more important.

[MerlinsMom]

I would also like people’s opinions on this so will be keeping an eye on this topic
My newly bonded pair have been together for about two months now and I have noticed that my male very rarely, if ever, grooms my female.
He used to lick us almost constantly, and still does now on occasion, but despite Freya’s best efforts he doesn’t groom her. I feel so sorry for her cos shell run up to him and stick her head under him and lay there for ages and he just ignores her!

[Stickerbunny]

My male Powder grooms my female Stickers nightly, before they go to bed. He’s a doting husbun. Stickers will NOT groom him back though, she refuses. She grooms herself in front of him usually if he asks. She’s too high and mighty to lower herself to such a display, it would be beneath her. They do fine together though even with her refusals, he loves her to pieces and won’t leave her side for more than a few minutes. Grooming isn’t required.

[LittlePuffyTail]

I agree with the others. Some bunnies don’t groom, some bonded bunnies’ grooming is all one-sided and some bunnies will groom eventually, but it can take awhile.

[smileykyleigh]

Very interesting question!

Good to know that grooming isn’t necessary for a successful bond. We just acquired our second bunny today from the humane society, and she is not sure what to think of my male. During the meet and greet my guy was very friendly with her, kept hopping over and sniffing, but she just sat in the corner.
Oh well, at least she wasn’t being aggressive towards him. We will start our official bonding sessions tomorrow!
I had the same question as you though, I wondered if I should get to know her a bit first before beginning bonding, I’ll have to check back for more responses on this thread.
Congrats to you!

[Nonvieta]

I am glad to hear all the responses!  I’m relieved to know that there is hope for my bunnies even if my male never decides he wants to groom her….I am hoping that in time perhaps he’ll learn from her to do some grooming…she so desperately seems to want it!

 I did use the banana one the head trick on Day 2 and worked like a charm!  I put them in the bathtub together with a giant pile of greens – of course he immediately settled and ate, completely ignoring her.  It took her some time, but she eventually laid down and nibbled some greens.  We put the banana on her head as soon as she started presenting her head for grooming….he licked it off right away!

I’m wondering if perhaps we might have done some harm with that though, because once he “groomed” her she started to show a bit more dominant or aggressive an attitude toward him.  She was grunting and stomping her foot a lot, and then jump straight up!  She was also sort of circling around him and made some attempts at nipping him (I generally stopped these little scuffs immediately so it’s hard to say what exactly she was trying to accomplish!)  Her ears weren’t back though and she wasn’t really lunging so I don’t think she was trying to hurt him.  I think maybe tricking him into grooming her has made her feel like he was submitting and now her dominant side is coming out?? Maybe I should have let their stale mate continue and have them sort it out on their own!

She still doesn’t really trust me completely either, although she is slowly warming up…I know what she was like at the shelter where she was pretty comfortable, so I have an idea of what she can be like when she feels safe and hopefully we can make her feel that way here soon!

[Nonvieta]

The past few weeks have been kind of a mixed bag for bonding…

Our girl officially has a name now, though…Clementine! Clem for short.

Things have changed so much from their first meeting at the shelter until now…Clem hasn’t grown increasingly bossy and Peanut hasn’t displayed any of the dominant behaviours he did at the shelter.  In fact he hasn’t once tried to mount her since their first meeting (that’s good!)  Clem was very scared of him at first, but now she’s quite a bully during their bonding!  She stomps, grunts, nips, pushes…whatever she feels like!

 We had a bit of an accident yesterday when my room mate, unknowingly placed Peanut in the ex-pen Clementine was playing in…I was only got a moment but came back to a blue of bunnies!  I immediately separated them…this was about as far from neutral territory as they could get!  Luckily the fight looked worse than it actually was and neither was injured at all.  I skipped their bonding session that night to let them cool off, but I did make sure to feed them their greens side by side in their respective cages.

 Today I tried a bonding session focused around feeding them their fresh greens but it didn’t go so great….I did this one in an ex-pen instead of the bath tub (things were going relatively well in the bath).  Peanut, as always, was intently focused on the food at hand, but Clem, after nibbling a bit with him, had other things on her mind.  She likes to circle around behind him, and nip him from behind…Peanut usually gets defensive and they’ll nip at each other or box a bit (if it gets that far…I’ve gotten pretty good at spotting her intentions early!).  She seems determined to start fights with him!  She growls and grunts a lot during these fights too.  So far they aren’t serious; they haven’t even managed any hair pulling and they are relatively easy to pull apart.  Peanut is usually not too upset by this, and at worst will seek sanctuary behind me for a min, but for the most part, the instant I get involved, they stop and Peanut goes right back to eating.

I can’t tell if we are regressing, or if Clem is just coming out of her shell and trying to assert dominance.  This is my first bonding so I don’t really know how much, and what type of fighting is “normal”.

 We are definitely going back to the bathtub tomorrow…they are clearly not ready for the ex-pen.  I’m also considering some stress bonding too…I might put them in a box and shake it if Clem trys her nipping habits, or maybe run the hairdryer in the background to get them to comfort each other!!

[Nonvieta]

Today is officially the 2 week marker (only two weeks?  feels like months!)

They’ve been doing so well in the bathtub and kitchen I decided to give semi-neutral territory a try.  Things have been stagnating a bit so the hope was this would shake things up and maybe we can make some progress!

I set up the ex-pen in the middle of the living room – this is Peanut’s chief living area, so it’s right in the heart of enemy territory for Clem!  I rolled back the carpet to give it a bit more neutral feel….the carpet has his scent all over it, but hopefully not as much underneath!

Surprisingly, Peanut had a brief attempt at mounting Clem, but I shooed him away and he didn’t try again.  He’s a very half-hearted mounter…this is only the second time (the first time being at the shelter on their first meeting!) he has tried.

I have been avoiding feeding them during bonding lately, because Peanut gets so into eating he literally ignores everything else and this doesn’t seem to help…..if anything is seems to annoy her!  This time, I did feed them their greens…wanted to keep things calm for the first try in a less-than-neutral area! 

Went much better than expected!  We probably bonded for about an hour…they had nothing more than a couple easy-to-break-up scuffles and spent most of their time largely ignoring each other.  As usual, Clem just nibbled at the food and Peanut ate like a beast.  They interacted very little, but considering the new territory I will consider that a victory!

The biggest problem right now is they don’t seem to be moving forward…they are tolerating each other better and better, but I’m not seeing too much affection of any kind developing.   If anything, Clem seems to have grown increasingly indifferent to Peanut!

Hopefully tonite will go equally smoothly and I’ll get some pics!

[Nonvieta]

 

 

 

 

Pictures from their time in the bathtub together….hopefully the last of the bathtub for now!  Sorry about the low quality…I took them with my i-pod!  Next pic will be with the camera!

 

[Nonvieta]

In the past couple days we have been doing bonding in a semi-neutral area in the living room.  They aren’t fighting…but they aren’t doing much.  Maybe I’m just trying to rush things, but every day has been much of the same…they play in the ex-pen, Peanut eats whatever food I offer (Clem maybe nibbles at it), they mostly stay apart, sometimes Clem will lick Peanut’s head, but start nipping him when he doesn’t groom her back; sometimes Peanut approaches Clem amorously (he has yet to actually mount or try to mount her, but his tail being up says that’s what he is going to try….this did NOT happen in neutral territory!) and Clem rebuffs him with some nips or boxing….I usually break this up with some water spraying.  They spend MOST of the time,  far apart ignoring each other.

Peanut seems fairly relaxed (this is HIS turf) and will lay down and eat and generally be comfortable.  Clem seems tense most of the time….far more tense than in the tub.  She won’t let me pet her at all (she’ll allow it in the tub), doesn’t eat other than a few nibbles, rarely lays down.  They both self-groom.  

Right now, one of the biggest hurdles is that Clem still does NOT trust me.  She was very friendly in the shelter and the whole staff vouched for how friendly and cuddly she is, but for whatever reason, she’s taking a long time to adjust to life with us.  I understand that it will take time…I just wish that they could bond…I feel like she would feel safer and better able to adjust to everything and everyone (myself included) once she and Peanut are bonded.

I feel like we’ve taken a small step back…although from what I have read this is common when moving to semi-neutral territory.  What worries me is that now they seem to be stagnating!  I’m thinking maybe some stressing will help…I hate to do that, but it did wonders in the bathtub stage.  I used a hairdryer in the background to make them scared enough to stop fighting and start cuddling.  It definitely helped them overcome a rough patch.  I am thinking maybe doing some vacuuming nearby while they are bonding might bring them together??

 

A typical bonding; Clem sitting in the corner and Peanut eating everything.

 

 

Clem rarely sits still long enough to take a good picture!

[Emmie]

😮

I was going to name my new bun Clem!

[Author]

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