Bunny passed after successful op

[MyEverydayPorridge]

Two days ago, I took my bun Porridge in for a second operation on her jaw to remove a (regrown) abscess and hopefully, the culprit tooth. The op went surprisingly well and the vet managed to get the tooth out finally, but then as she was taken off anesthetic she suffered cardiac arrest, they tried to resuscitate but she died 

She has been poorly since July last year, after going outside in the garden she caught fleas (which we solved easily), and what I think was the beginning of pasturella. We had cats coming into our garden so it must have came from them. She hasn’t been right since, and has been on constant meds for the last 4/5 months.

The vet said the op would be a risk because she didn’t respond well to anesthetic before. I’m just so unbelievably frustrated we finally got the tooth out, but then she passed away. It could have been her road to recovery had she made it. I can’t stop feeling guilty about her going into the op, when the night before she was running after her meds and treats happy. I know she was in pain for a long time (she did have pain meds, and was relatively sociable but hadn’t binky’d in a while and would just flop a lot instead of exploring). I’m trying to tell myself that I should be glad she isn’t in anymore pain after 6 months of illness, but just thinking of her happy face the night before is telling me I shouldn’t have took her for the op. Everyone’s telling me I did the right thing but I just don’t know.

I didn’t speak to the vet after she told me she had passed, so haven’t actually asked more specifically about what happened. I don’t know whether to ring and ask, or if it will just leave me more frustrated. I guess it’s no ones fault and no one could predict her heart would give up  

She was my best friend for 6 years and had the best personality. I wish there was a rule book for how to deal with grief.

Here she is giving me all the kisses. Wishing I could kiss her now.

[Sirius&Luna]

I’m so sorry for your loss. It sounds like she had a wonderful and long life with you. I’m sure you know really that you couldn’t just leave the abcess and tooth – it did have to be removed, and i’m so sorry that you lost her in the process, but the op needed to happen, so please don’t blame yourself. I feel like in these situations we always blame ourselves (I have done too), but it doesn’t help anything.

She’s a beautiful bunny. I hope in time you can remember the happy life she had.

[GinandWhiskey]

I know exactly how you’re feeling right now. I lost my bun on Monday. She was my little angel and it’s only been 3 days but the pain is just as real as it was Monday. It doesn’t feel like it’s getting any better! She was ill for over a month and on constant pain meds and everyone says the same to me too. That we’ve done the right thing. And deep down we both know we have, but it’s a horrible feeling. The night before mine was eating more and she was slightly happier but she was in pain she couldn’t lay down properly or turn around. She had to have an op as no-one could tell what was wrong with her and she was so skinny they were scared to put her under so we had to do everything we could externally like bloods and x-rays awake before considering surgery. But in the end it was the only option she was anaemic and weak. The vet called me through the surgery and told me she looked to have cancer over so many over her organs and it was big and everywhere and spreading, so I had to tell her to put her down. Then go see her tiny little body and cried for an hour and had to show my other rabbit. She’s been cremated now so all the bad stuff has been destroyed which makes me feel slightly better.

We just had two amazing bunnies that didn’t deserve to be taken from us. I know nothing anyone says  makes the pain easier. I don’t know when I’ll feel normal again or when I’ll stop crying. And I’m sure its the same for you! Just know you’re not alone and people on here will always talk to you and comfort you if no-one else on the outside understands. That’s what I’ve found. Take each day as it comes and know you were the best mummy and she knows how much she was loved. Maybe our babies have found each other and lots of other friends and they’re binkying away in a lovely field somewhere! Free from pain! Sending so much love and cuddles!

[MyEverydayPorridge]

Thank you, hearing from other bunny lovers really does help. I know it’s common for people to blame themselves and I’m trying to tell myself I did the right thing. It’s just the uncertainty of thinking ‘what if’ which makes me feel so sad and sick .

I’m thinking I might write down some happy memories of things she used to do so in the future I can read back and think of the happy times. 

[Bam]

I’m very sorry you lost Porridge. She was a beautiful girl.

We will always, invariably, inevitably second-guess ourselves when we’ve done something that didn’t turn out as well as we had hoped. That doesn’t mean we are right in thinking we should have done differently. I think she needed the chance the op could have given her. If you hadn’t opted for the surgery, she couldn’t have healed on her own, dental abscesses don’t heal up unless the tooth comes out. She would’ve just gradually gotten sicker and sicker, with increasing pain and discomfort, or she could have died of septic shock when the bacteria from the tooth reached the bloodstream.

It’s so very sad. I think I would’ve wanted to know a bit more specifically about what happened. It doesn’t seem as it was anybody’s fault, but it could perhaps help with the grieving process if you spoke with the vet.

Grieving is very tough and there’s no way around it. It just has to have its time.

Binky free, sweet ****Porridge****

[MyEverydayPorridge]

It’s really comforting to hear from someone going through the same thing. I’m so sorry about your bun, it is just heartbreaking. It definitely sounds like you did the right thing though. And I have to think, even when bunnies seem to be acting happy, they are often in so much more pain than we know and so our decisions to try and fix the pain were with the best intentions: to make them not hurt anymore.

I was able to bring Porridge home for the night, and I kept her wrapped up and put her sleeping next to her teddy. Even though it was sad to see her like that, it was nice to know she had one last night in her home before being taken to be cremated. Leaving her at the vets for the cremation was undoubtedly the worst part. I could have stayed and stroked her ears forever.

I’m thinking of her and yours with bunny friends running around happy. This community is so lovely, to know that people understand. 

Sending positive thoughts. We will soon be able to think our babies with nice thoughts and the incredible lives they had.

[Flakie]

I am so sorry to hear of the loss of your lovely bunny Porridge.i just lost my Flakie last week and it still hurts a lot. Keep asking why him. We all do our best and what we feel is right for them and you did everything for your bunny and showed him lots of love.

My heart is with you ❤️

[MyEverydayPorridge]

Thank you every body. You’ve all really helped. I’ve tried to rationalise my thoughts and I’m gradually starting to accept what happened and that there is no way to control these things.

I also was super sad that I lost about 200 mini videos of Porridge after my phone reset everything. However, I’ve decided to write a list of all my memories of Porridge, starting with ‘I remember…’. So in the far future, I can read them back and imagine the memories, which are thousand times better than any video. I have about 4 A4 pages so far. It’s really comforting to go back and read through them – so for anyone else grieiving, I’d recommend it!

Just a couple of my ‘I remember…’s… if anyone wants to add any about their own bunny, feel free <3
…

I remember the way your fluffy butt would look so big and like it was going to topple over you when you ran down the stairs.

I remember when you were a baby and I ate strawberries. The taste must have been on my lips and you tottered after my kisses, and BIT my lip.

I remember the way you’d sit on the top few steps of the stairs while I was in the shower, and you’d be waiting for me when I came out.

I remember the way you ran through the long grass in the garden, bounding through it with huge leaps. Your ears would bounce up and down so you looked like you were flying.

[Author]

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