bonding with me?

[LizzyBunn]

I’ve had my two rabbits for about  three months now. They are silly and and not shy and do a lot of regular bunny things. I live in a studio so we spend a lot of time together. The shelter I got them from told me they had previously been living in a field so when I brought them home I figured I’d be teaching them how to be house bunnies. They are maybe 2y/o according the shelter and vet.

Neither of them like being held at all, I can’t even pick up Parsnip when I need her to go in my bathroom while I sleep (they get sooo crazy at night and rub their faces on mine while I sleep!). She wriggles around like she is dying and refuses to let me. Generally I try to herd her in a direction/lure her with treats and this sometimes works. Beaumont almost always lets me pick him up and move him if need be. He seems mostly resigned about it. Beaumont will let me pet him though. Mostly on his back but sometimes his nose/ears if I am very gentle and he isn’t flopped down. This also works best if I am feeding him something yummy. When I try to pet parsnip she hops away or just moves so I can’t reach and does her own thing. When I try to pet her while giving her a carrot or treat, she mounts Beaumont and humps him/grooms him and then gets off and eats the carrot. If I try even a little light pet she does it again.  The only time I can really pet her is when she is sleepy and mushed against a wall or corner.

I guess I’m just confused. My previous rabbit wasn’t overly affectionate but he liked pets and would nuzzle or nip me for them. Neither of them ever initiate my petting. sometimes when they are going around rubbing their chins on everything they’ll rub on me. I know they like me fine but I’m wondering how long it will take, if ever, for us to really bond. Is it because they’re already a pair and don’t need me beyond food? I just feel like Beaumont is so indifferent and Parsnip is so against my affection. help! I want bunny love.

[BinkyBunny]

Awe… it is frustrating when you want bunny love and they are not in the snuggly mood or not the snuggly kind. It sounds like they will just need more time. I’ve taken in bunnies who were not as social or not socialized but they eventually come around (though NONE like to be held but that’s another typical bunny behavior – the ones that actually like it, not just tolerate it, are rare)

It sounds like your bunny, Parsnip, is mounting for dominance. Jack does this too. When I come into the room, he will sometimes try and mount Vivian just to show everyone (including me who is boss) as well as many times he just likes to say “pet me first, feed me first” and him attempting to mount Viv I think is his way to reinforce the hierarchy with favorite things like food and affection. He also mounts when he’s stressed — like when we have to give him meds

Regarding affection: 

Jack was the easiest to socialize, he ended up loving being pet within a month, while Rucy took the longest — she was just a very independent bunny – just part of her nature, and only as she got older did she like to be pet for long periods, so for her it was a couple of years. While Vivian liked to be pet, but she didn’t trust, and she’d be tense while she allowed petting, but one wrong move  too close to her bum and she’d whip around and warn you with a huff and stink eye. But now, she fully trust me petting her from head to tail. But I’ve had her now for a year, and I’d say the full trust started happening about 8 months in. And now she’ll actually run over for affection — she is VERY sweet. (though, she HATES being picked up too)

Though it can be work to get bunnies who may not have been fully socialized (living in a field and who knows what before then), the rewards are amazing. I get a lot of joy when I see a bunny (who may have had a rough past), finally feel safe. Just knowing that they will have the food they need, a soft bed, a safe place where they can just relax, play and not be hyper alert or stressed, toys and stuff to entertain them—that makes me happy.

It can take time for some bunnies to fully get this is the “forever” home and you are their “forever” human. I’m sure they have been around several humans, and they don’t know yet that you will be a permanent fixture in their lives. 3 months may seem like a long time since you know you are trustworthy and you know you won’t hurt them, but I bet you will see more changes after the next three months.

The fact they are chinning the apartment AND you (CUTE!) is a great sign they are claiming the space, so I think in time, they will bond more with you.

I know you said you are with them all the time just due to the space etc, but do you hang out on the floor with them for longer periods?. Let them come up to you without you reaching out for them for a while, and then just slowly do what you’ve been doing – gradually petting.

I suspect Beaumont will be the more affectionate of the two, and Parsnip may always be a bit more standoffish when it comes to affection, but ya just never really know. I’ve been surprised before!

So try to be patient because you are doing such a great job. I know that just being the “food provider” may not feel that satisfying at the moment, but actually it’s a big thing! How wonderful it must be to see them safe in your home, eating the food you’ve provided so they don’t have to go hungry, they don’t have to worry about predators so they can sleep in peace and play and explore. Seeing how much they are enjoying life is another way to enjoy bunny love, and though I know it’s not quite the same as petting their soft fur, I bet you’ll have more of that in time too.

Just keep at it!

With my own bunnies and getting them to trust me with more affection–I didn’t do anything special except I just hung out with them on the floor,  tried to keep their feeding, cleaning schedule somewhat predictable and just kept reaching out to pet them when they would allow it.    They just began to allow it more and more until they were fully comfortable. 

EDITED TO ADD:  Jack & Rucy (RIP) were much more aggressive when I first got them, so I did have to go through slightly different methods, but regarding the actual petting and trusting, the hanging out was important. 

[KatnipCrzy]

If they were found in a field they probably do not associate humans with affection- probably only indifference at best.  So the best way is just to keep doing as you are and they will learn to trust you.

Will they take treats from your hand?  I found that a good way to earn trust- I used Craisins cut into smaller pieces so I have more to work with- and let them take the treat without trying to pick them up- let it all be on their terms and they soon learned to look for treats and to be petted.

[Elrohwen]

I wanted to second what BB and Katnip said. They had great suggestions.

And I wanted to add that it took 6+ months to bond with my first bunny and he still won’t let me pet him 75% of the time. Some bunnies just take a long time and a lot of patience. You have to learn to love them at the level of bond you have with them, then one day they’ll surprise you by giving you a bit more trust and being a bit more cuddley. It can take a very long time, but it’s so worth it!

[Elrohwen]

 

[HatterBunny]

I got Hatter from a shelter two months ago where he was nicknamed “Mr. Grumpy.” He refused to let me pet, hold or get anywhere near him. I decided to be VERY patient and I would spend time laying on the floor in the same room as him but not try to “go after” him. Eventually he started to investigate me and still I would not try to reach out and touch him. About 3 weeks into having him I started offering him treats out of my hand and he would take them. A week after that I would offer a treat and pet him with my other hand.

Anyway, now I can pet him, but it still usually on his own terms. He will never be a snuggle bunny and does not like to be picked up unless it is absolutely necessary. He now trusts me enough though to do so without giving me a hard time. Every morning he runs up to me for his morning banana treat and will usually follow me around when he thinks I’m not paying attention. We also have “evening fun time” where we literally just make a mess! He loves to tear paper and chew on cardboard so whenever he tears paper off he tosses it to me and then I shred it and “rain” down on him.

Just be patient and try to play games with your rabbit. Sometimes they will look at you like what the heck are you doing, but other times they will show you LOVE!

[Nibbles_NZ]

I think your Hatter will still come around. 2 months seems like a long time but it really isn’t. He will learn that you are a friend and soon be wanting pets. That’s just my opinion though. As for picking him up. That’s just normal for a bunny. None of them like to be picked up. My Baxter did for a while when he was really little. Now that he is growing up (6 weeks later lol) he is deciding it is just not for him. That’s okay with me. People don’t really pick dogs and cats up either. They still like attention just like bunnies. Baxter craves attention. I agree with your laying on the floor and letting them come to you. That’s how I did it. It really seems to work. Now when I lay on the floor they will jump on my back and sniff and play with my hair lol….Not to mention, chew on my clothes! Maybe your bunny was “Mr. Grumpy” at the shelter for a reason. Maybe his previous owner wasn’t so nice or neglected him. He could be getting over some trust issues from his previous life.

[pennylane]

My little Penny is taking a while, too. I’ve had her for about 4 months and improvements have been slow but steady! She was found outside and I got her through an adoption agency, and she couldn’t stand to be touched for quite some time. Now she is finally getting relaxed enough to lounge on her side in the middle of the living room…. a couple months ago, she hid under my futon all the time.

Something I’ll do is lay on the couch when I’m doing homework, and I’ll either snack on some granola or keep some treats with me (if I’m not hungry myself.) When Penny gets close, I’ll tempt her with a raisin. Soon, she’s up on the couch begging for more! After a few days of doing these, I’ve seen big improvements.

[Nibbles_NZ]

Wow! she is making progress! That’s great. I think it would be a lot harder to get a rabbit from a shelter to trust rather than getting them while they are babies. Props to you!

[LizzyBunn]

Oh thank you for your encouraging replies! I’m glad I’m not the only one with a less snuggly bunny. I had just been reading so much lately about people with bunns that snuggle and i think I got a little sad about it.
BinkyBunny~ Thank you that is exactly what i needed to hear!

And it’s funny because the day after I wrote this both the bunnies started being more friendly with me and have been since. They’ve started following me around and licking my feet and lately when the get their treat, they’ve been climbing all over me! It’s very sweet and I fee much less discouraged. Two months really isn’t a long time and I am just happy to be able to provide a safe, loving environment for them.
I hope everyone else with newer rabbit (penny, hatter) are also making slow progress.
<3!!

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