Bonding diary – I’m terrified and probably will need help

[LuluRabbit]

AH! This is my first time bonding buns, and we just had our first bonding session. Here’s how it’s going…

Alfredo: 5 years old, Male, Neutered 9/2/17

Theo: 7 months old, Male, Neutered 12/21/20

Timeline:

Theo was in the living room (away from Alfredo) before his neuter. A week or so after his neuter, he moved into Alfredo’s room (12/28/20), which we have split in half by two x-pens. They have been living side-by-side since. They often loaf within eyesight of each other and sometimes flop 1-2 feet apart. No lunging through the bars. Mostly ignoring, I have seen them try to dig through the bars.

1/10/21 – we started swapping litter boxes only 

1/13/21 –  we started swapping the buns themselves every other day. Only one enclosure is connected to a neighboring room so only one can free-roam at a time.

1/23/21 – we did our first stress-bonding (30 min car ride) – no fighting, and we put them back in their pens. Alfredo was mad at me for the car ride.

Later same day – 10 min in bathtub with lettuce. Theo just sat and ate, Alfredo was curious and also tried grooming Theo – we were worried he’d attack him because Alfredo tends to mount a lot. But he just kinda of kept his head on top of Theo. Theo flinched when he was groomed – maybe he doesn’t understand what it means? We tried to squish them together and pet them at the same time.

 

So it seems like it’s going ok so far? I’m so scared that a fight will break out all of a sudden… also I don’t understand why Theo keeps flinching when Alfredo licks him? Theo is very affectionate and active and LOVES head rubs. Alfredo is actually usually the flighty insecure one… last time I took him to Bunny Binky Hour he humped EVERY BUN. I hope I’m not pushing this too much too soon – was thinking maybe another session tonight but I don’t want to ruin the good note we ended on.

 

[LuluRabbit]

Update:

1/23/21 – Later in the evening we did a second session in the bathtub (30 min) because the buns seemed chill – it started well, Alfredo was grooming Theo enthusiastically, and Theo turned into a loaf because he was comfortable. We put some banana on top of their heads, and finally got Theo to “groom” Alfredo a bit. Alfredo then mounted Theo (I guess that was to be expected) – we let him for about 10 seconds, then gently pushed him off. He kept trying to mount though (reverse way) and we pushed him off pretty quickly in subsequent attempts – he also pulled out a chunk of Theo’s fur. Theo didn’t mind the humping too much, but definitely tried to get away at some point because Alfredo was very eager. I’m not sure what this means – if Alfredo is grooming, he should be the beta bun – but then he was dominant with mounting? Theo doesn’t really do much… but he was very interested in the lettuce.

[DanaNM]

It sounds like it’s going quite well to me!

Sometimes they will groom in preparation to mount, so that sounds like what’s going on here. A little fur might be pulled when they mount as well. Just keep doing as you have been! If he reverse mounts, you can try spin him around so he’s in the correct position. I usually don’t stop regular mounting unless the bun being mounted is trying to get away and cant, and I’ll prevent the mounter from chasing the other bun (you can push the mounting bun down and kind of pin him to settle him down). The fact that Theo doesn’t mind the mounting much is a very good sign.

Some flinching during grooming is also normal at first, because they don’t trust each other yet. Things are always a bit tense in the beginning. It sounds like you’re doing a great job, so just keep calm and keep it up. 🙂 I would do a few more 20-30 min sessions before increasing the time too much, unless you feel like they are very relaxed and can handle it.

They are very cute! The white and tan bun looks a lot like my new bun Cooper.

. . . The answers provided in this discussion are for general guideline purposes only. The information is not intended to diagnose or treat your pet. Seek the advice of your veterinarian or a qualified behaviorist.  

[LuluRabbit]

Thanks! We did another 30min session this morning, after a short car ride – I tried reversing the reverse mount but Alfredo really loves to mount Theo’s face…. weirdly enough Theo doesn’t mind the face mount as much as the normal mount 🙄 . There was a bit of mount/run away/mount/annoyance and they had a little tiff because Alfredo kept mounting, but at the end of the session I put some banana on Alfredo so Theo licked it off, and I pet them while squished together. Theo just doesn’t seem to really do anything, which I think is frustrating Alfredo.

[LuluRabbit]

1/24/21 – Evening, we did another 40 min bathtub session – this time is was MountFEST and there was basically just mounting – regular mount, reverse mount, mounting that almost became bunny tornado before we stopped them with a glove. This time Theo also wanted to mount and they were trying to each become dominant. We pushed them off after a bit but mostly tried to let it happen. No grooming until we induced fake grooming with banana on the head… and then they flopped across from each other. I hope they figure out soon who is going to be dominant…

[DanaNM]

Sometimes I think they don’t mind the face mounting because they don’t realize they are being mounted, and just think they are being groomed! But the issue is if they then realize they are being mounted and bite some sensitive areas…!

Can you try working with them in a larger space? Sometimes that helps them run away from the mounting attempts without it turning into circling. If not just keep up what you’ve been doing, sometimes things get a little tense before they get better. Theo might need to assert himself to get Alfredo to stop, or he might give up and decide it’s all fine. Only time will tell!

. . . The answers provided in this discussion are for general guideline purposes only. The information is not intended to diagnose or treat your pet. Seek the advice of your veterinarian or a qualified behaviorist.  

[LuluRabbit]

I see! We did another bathtub session yesterday (1/25/21, about an hour) and I tried to be a bit more strict with the reverse mounting in case Theo realized and then bit Alfredo’s sensitive areas. There was still a lot of humping but less than the day before. Alfredo has started trying to groom Theo! Though Theo shows no desire to groom back haha.

This morning’s session started a bit more calm – no humping actually. Alfredo groomed Theo quite a bit and Theo seemed to like it. Thirty minutes in the mounting competition started. I just want to tell them “LOVE EACH OTHER ALREADY!!” But I think in general things are getting less tense. They both flopped at different times.

I don’t really have a bigger neutral space (Alfredo already owns the world) but if things don’t progress/backslide, I’ll try to borrow some space from a friend’s apartment probably. For now I’ll stick with the 1-2 sessions a day in the tub and see how it goes – maybe if they can coexist for a day in the tub, I’ll try a bigger space. I’m thankful already that they haven’t tried to kill each other, though I know things can go bad real quick so I’m watching them closely >_>

 

 

[DanaNM]

It sounds like things are going really well, I would just keep up what you’ve been doing!

. . . The answers provided in this discussion are for general guideline purposes only. The information is not intended to diagnose or treat your pet. Seek the advice of your veterinarian or a qualified behaviorist.  

[Hazel]

You’re doing great, keep it up! 🙂

[LuluRabbit]

I just wanted to update this thread for posterity, in case anyone happens upon it in search for bonding experiences/advice. Alfredo and Theo are (tentatively officially) bonded, and the rest of the tale is here: https://binkybunny.com/forums/topic/small-space-making-things-worse/

One month of prebonding, and one month of bonding later = happy buns!

 

[DanaNM]

Woooohoooo!

. . . The answers provided in this discussion are for general guideline purposes only. The information is not intended to diagnose or treat your pet. Seek the advice of your veterinarian or a qualified behaviorist.  

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