Bonding Blues

[Bunnina]

Hello all!

I have two rabbits, both female, both spayed. Toki is a 5.5 year old dwarf lop mix and the other is Mida who is a lop and a little over 7 years old. 

I just want them to love each other!!!!

Toki has lived alone most of her life which I wanted to change the moment I heard about bonding. I adopted little Mida to be her friend. Mida was given to the shelter after her former owners son developed allergies to her. She was previously bonded to a male rabbit, and was the submissive bunny in the relationship. Her bond mate passed away  but she was strong and recovered. Now she lives with us and I couldn’t love her more. 

So- here’s whats going on: They hate each other. I started the process by putting them in separate cages next to each other so they could see but not touch noses. Toki had some surgery that I wanted her to completely recover from so they stayed this way for about 2 months.

I started bonding by taking them for car rides. They are fine together in the carrier, but they ignore each other and don’t snuggle at all. I have done this several times. 

Day one: I set up a small pen in a neutral place. This first meeting was the most successful. They shared a potty chair, Mida groomed Toki, they ignored each other for the most part and fought only a few times. I ended the session by forcing them to snuggle while I pet them both. They seemed happy enough. 

Day two: New neutral location. Started out okay, Mida groomed Toki right away, but I made a huge mistake by only putting one litter box in. it became a source of competition and they started fighting over it. I took it away but it was too late, they both were extremely mad by this point. I’m using a medium sized canvas to break them up, and I did that throughout this session but It didn’t seem to matter how long i separated them for, they always fought the second I took it away. 13 minutes in, fur is flying everywhere, I’m crazy stressed so I decide its time to call this a fail so I put them in their shared carrier (where they stopped fighting) and put them in the car for about 20 minutes. They ignored each other the whole time. 

Day three: I set them up in the neutral place from day one. starts okay, one fight early on (when I say fights I mean boxing, biting, sometimes rolling. extreme fighting, not just nips). Mida explores the area a little. Toki stays frozen in a corner staring her down the whole time. Mida eats a little (two hay boxes this time). Huge fight breaks out. I get rid of the hay and reduce the size of the area a little. fighting intensifies. I put them into a box, set that box on the drier and force snuggle them while petting them, no fights break out, but they aren’t interacting much. I gently shake the box to add some stress. after this I put them back in the neutral area. They sit frozen facing away from each other for 20 minutes. I but them back in the box and force snuggle them for about 15 minutes. I put them back in the pen with a little hay. Mida flops. Toki stays frozen. 20 minutes of this. Mida grooms herself a bunch. Toki is still frozen. All hell breaks loose. major fighting, I try to kinda let them go at it a little because I heard they need to get it out of the way?? I regret this deeply. Both of them got hurt in that fight with small cuts on Midas neck, and Toki with a bad bite on her ear. They stop naturally though and they don’t fight for the rest of the time. I end this session there. (I think this one was WAY too long. Please let me know what I’m doing wrong I want to do better.) 

Day four: I’m freaked out by yesterdays injuries, so I monitor them closely and only do a couple forced snuggles in my lap. they never fight when we do this. 

Day five (today) : We go to the humane society for hoppy hour, this means one hour in the car there (they ride together in the same carrier, no fights, but they face away from each other and don’t cuddle or groom.) and an additional hour in the car home. We get home they chill for a few hours, then I take them to a new neutral pen. This is the worse session yet- I fear they might have both been still overwhelmed from hoppy hour so they didn’t want to bond today. They fight immediately and the whole time they are there. Its very overwhelming and I get bit very badly twice so I do the worst thing possible- I end the session on a bad note. At this point I’m crying and thinking they will never be okay together and that I’m going to have to re-home one of my beloved rabbits and my mom is telling me I made a mistake adopting Mida and they will never bond which is only making everything worse! Then I find a flea on Mida while I’m checking her for injuries and I panic and vacuum everything throw away all of their old towels etc and look very closely to see if either of them have any more (I didn’t find anymore so I hope this will be the end of that.) 

If this is TLDR I’m very sorry, I wanted to be as specific as possible. I need advice from seasoned pros. I’ve never bonded my rabbits before, I don’t want them to get hurt. Is this hopeless? What should I do moving forward? How long should a session be? is there such a thing as too long of a session? 

-Bunnina

[Willow Lien]

Are they both spayed? Two females will never bond if not spayed. Females are generally meaner in the bunny world.

I would cease the bunny dates for now except maybe the snuggling where they do not fight so their experiences together are positive. I do not have bonding sessions daily with my buns, maybe every other day, and they are usually only fifteen minutes or so.

Some will advise to keep them completely separated a few months to reset their attitudes toward each other. I have no experience with this.

[Author]

Messages