Best Joke Ever-Contest!!!

[Kokaneeandkahlua]

We could all use a laugh-Well at least I can!!

 

Post your favorite joke here!!

 

Here’s mine:

In 1986, Mkele Mbembe was on holiday in Kenya after graduating from college. On a hike through the bush, he came across a young bull elephant standing with one leg raised in the air.

 

 

The elephant seemed distressed so Mbembe approached it very carefully. He got down on one knee and inspected the elephant’s foot, and found a large thorn deeply embedded in it. As carefully and as gently as he could, Mbembe worked the thorn out with his hunting knife, after which the elephant gingerly put down its foot. The elephant turned to face the man and with a rather stern look on its face, stared at him.

 

 

For several tense moments Mbembe stood frozen, thinking of nothing else but being trampled. Eventually the elephant trumpeted loudly, turned and walked away. Mbembe never forgot that elephant or the amazing events of that day.

 

 

Twenty years later he was walking through a zoo with his teenaged son. As they approached the elephant enclosure, one of the creatures turned and walked over to near where Mbembe and his son Tapu were standing.

 

 

The large bull elephant stared at Mbembe and lifted its front foot off the ground, then put it down. The elephant did that several times then trumpeted loudly, all the while staring at the man. Remembering the encounter in 1986, Mbembe couldn’t help but wonder if this was the same elephant.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Mbembe summoned up his courage, climbed over the railing and made his way into the enclosure. He walked right up to the elephant and stared back in wonder. Suddenly the elephant trumpeted again, wrapped its trunk around one of the man’s legs and swung him wildly back and forth along the railing, killing him.

 

 

Probably wasn’t the same elephant.

[JK]

Yeah I’ve heard this before!  Actually there is a true story about a woman who helped an injured lion and brought it back to health.  The lion went to a zoo and years later the woman checked up on the lion (may have been a tiger) and the lion remembered her and he wrapped his paws around her.  It was unbelievably touching…

[MarkBun]

My top 3, in order of favorite:

A grasshopper hops into a bar and orders a drink.

The bartender looks at the grasshopper and says, “You know, we have a drink named after you.”

The grasshopper says, “Really? You have a drink named Steve?”

—————————–

A man walks into a bank and says, “this is a screw-up!”

The teller says, “Don’t you mean a ‘stick-up’?”

The man says, “Nope, a screw-up. I forgot my gun.”
—————————–

A baby seal walks into a club…

(Okey, this last one is mean but when a comedian said it to a bunch of ‘hippies’ that hissed at a slightly non-PC joke he previously made, I died laughing).

[Author]

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