Bailey (My Holland Lop) died in my arms last night…3am.

[Black Rabbit]

I’m really sorry that my first post here is a sad one. I’m just really trying to make sure that nobody makes the mistake I did last night.

 

I’ve had Bailey for over 6 years now. She’s was the absolute love of my life. The cutest and toughest little bunny I had ever met. Every morning for the last 6 years I would wake up, walk to the kitchen, and prepare a huge bowl of romaine, kale, carrots, and celery. While making it I could see and hear Bailey rattling her cage like “gimmi gimmi gimmi”. I can’t even begin to tell you the joy I felt watching her dig in every day. The purest love I have ever felt….

The other day I went to the store and they were out of organic romaine. I never fed her anything that wasnt organic so I opted for the organic spring mix. I read online it was ok so I figured it would be fine. She ate the whole bowl and seemed fine all day. The next morning she was uninterested in treats and in the bowl of veggies so right away I knew something was wrong. She’s behaved like this before and it usually passed after a good dose of rabbit lax and some critical care. She took the full servering of critical care at about 4pm. I gave her a little water and made an appointment for the vet first thing in the am.

I was woke up to a horrible sound. Bailey litterally screamed. I ran downstairs and what I saw will haunt me for the rest of my life. Bailey was lying on her side shaking and throwing up. She was making the most god awful sound and was having a hard time catching her breathe. I was trying to find a 24 hour emergeny vet but I sorto of knew she wouldnt make the car ride. I just held on to her and mad sure she had a clear view of my face. She made one last gasp and she was gone….

I have never felf so bad in my entire life. I’m not sure how I feel about not taking her to the vet right away. Part of me feels like if they kept her over night and she dies there she would have died in a strange place all alone. At least here she was with me. The other part of me wonders if I would have taken her right to the vet maybe she wouldnt have died at all…

 

It’s a tough place to me.

 

BR

 

 

 

[LizzieKnittyBun]

Black Rabbit, I can’t possibly think of what to say to ease your sadness right now. I can’t imagine in my worst nightmares how horrible it must have been to have that experience. Just reading it left me speechless for several minutes.

I truly don’t think that what you fed her would have caused that violent a reaction… spring mix, especially organic, should be fine for rabbits. Is there any other reason why this would happen? Is it possible that, due to her age, she might have had a heart attack? I’ve read about cases where rabbits had heart attacks and the food they were ingesting “came up” out of their mouths, even though rabbits are said to be anatomically unable to vomit. The pain from the attack could have made her scream.

Please don’t blame yourself. You had seen symptoms exactly like that before and did what usually worked. You shouldn’t blame yourself for this. You loved and cared for her for six long years, and I’m sure she had a better life in those six years than most rabbits have in twelve.

[Beka27]

Hugs for you. I am so so sorry to hear this. Please do not blame yourself. These situations always come with a whole bunch of what-ifs attached, and the truth is, you do what you think is best at the time. As you said, you’ve been thru gassy episodes before and never had reason to worry, so I think you did the right thing. For some reason, it just did not work this time. Spring mix is safe for buns, and even if it’s a new food, I can’t see it causing this reaction. If anything they’d be a bit gassy or have some looser stools, but nothing like this. This makes me wonder if something else was going on and it was unrelated. Are you able/interested to have a necropsy done?

(((Binky free Bailey!)))

[Black Rabbit]

I thought about it but wasn’t sure if I wanted to go through with it. Ive already spend the better part of the morning trying to find a pet cemetery that I can be assured will be undisturbed. I know they offer cremation but for some reason that just doesnt seem right to me and since I’m currently renting I didnt want her to just be buried out back. I just want her somewhere that I can go visit from time to time.

[Beka27]

I understand. You don’t have to, but I know for some people, it helps if they can find out something. I am wishing you peace during this hard time. If you want, please feel free to post a pic or two of Bailey. I would love to see her.

[AbbyGirl]

I am so sorry you had to go through that horrible experience. Like Beka and Lizzie have said, please don’t blame yourself. You are in my thoughts and prayers. (((HUGS)))

[Black Rabbit]

How do you post pictures here?

I just wanted to say thank you to all of you. Your kind words really do mean a lot to me.

I found a place that will get Bailey set with a nice casket, plot, and headstone. That’s the right way to say goodbye.

[bunnnnnnie!]

So sorry for your loss, sending support vibes your way. I also don’t think it was what you fed her, or anything you did. Still doesn’t make it any easier though, I’m sure.

I personally think you did the right thing keeping her home with you. It sounds like by the time you rushed downstairs, she only had a few minutes left. She spent those last few minutes being held by the one she loved, in the home she was comfortable with, instead of in a carrier in the unfamiliar car.

Many sympathies to you, it sounds like you have a lovely place picked out for her final resting.

[Sarita]

So sorry about your loss.

[RabbitPam]

I’m so sorry you went through this heartache with your Bailey, but please don’t blame yourself. I have known vets to discover hidden ailments in pets and actually send them home to be with their loving owners in familiar surroundings at the end. You had no warning, did the best you could at the time, and it happened too fast for anything else to have mattered. Do what you can now to comfort yourself in the way that honors her in your mind as best, and accept my sincerest condolences. I would love to see any pictures. If you go to the technical forum, you should find some instructions on how to do it.

In brief: click Add Reply button, scroll down to Attachments and click the arrow on the right, browse to select the photo, make sure it’s not too high a resolution, and click upload. Then click Insert when it’s done and size or move it in your reply box. Then hit submit.

[bunnymum16]

my heart sunk after reading your post.i know how painful it is for you.like everybody said,don’t blame yourself for what happened.you did everything you could.Bailey had a wonderful life with you.She was loved and well taken care of so you should be proud for providing her with all she needed.She’s across the rainbow bridge looking at you and thanking you for the love you gave her.

Binky free Bailey.

[LoveChaCha]

I’m so sad
You gave her all of your love and she loved you in return.

I will have you in my thoughts

[Black Rabbit]

I cannot tell you how much all of your kind words mean to me. It’s been a rough day but coming on here has helped me a lot. I’m a guy so most of my friends have dog & cats and never really got “why” I had a rabbit. I fell in love with Bailey the second I saw her. To me she represented everything that was good and no matter how bad my day was as soon as I saw her everything seemed ok and I would smile. She was my little girl…

I went and made her arrangements today. She’s going to be buried next Friday. I got her a really nice plot under a tree, and a beautiful headstone that will actually have a 4 X 7 photo of her. The grounds were really nice and hilly so I think it’s the perfect place for her. It wasnt cheap but to be honest I would have paid three times what they were asking….

 

Thanks again. Here are a few photo’s of my little holland lop.

 

 

I

 

 

 

[LizzieKnittyBun]

What a beauty she was! Is that a cute little terrier I see there?

Black Rabbit, you will find endless support here. This site has been a haven for me. Many people, men and women alike, are unaware of the beauty, intelligence, personality, and love that one can find in a rabbit. Their hearts and souls are a million times bigger than their little bodies.

You are also by far not the only man on here! I hope that, despite your heartbreak, you will stay and become a member of our group. I have found such kind and loving friends on here who have helped me through so many things, not only with our bunnies but with life, the universe, and everything.

You are obviously an animal lover and took wonderful care of your bunny. She lived a full, happy life with you, and you took such good care of her. Any animal, rabbit or otherwise, would be in heaven to have you for a parent.

[cactuspancake]

Aw she was beautiful and so is your love for her Your yorkie is also beautiful! So silky and cuddly Aw feel better please. Losing a pet is so sad but what you’re doing for her is so nice! I didn’t know there were pet cemetaries that were so nice.

[Isabelle]

I’m so sorry that happened, and like the others said don’t blame yourself. Rabbits can mask illness very well, so it’s possible she wasn’t feeling well days before she passed, but just hadn’t shown it earlier. The cemetery sounds like a wonderful place to bring pets to rest, make sure that you take care of yourself.

{{{{{Binky Free Bailey}}}}}

[Dee]

She was adorable- and you gave her a wonderful life with lots of love. You also gave her the final gift of comforting her as she crossed the bridge. I’ve held a few of my pets as they passed and I know how traumatic it can be- I kept replaying it all in my mind afterward. But it’s the kindest, bravest thing you can do for them. And I do agree with everyone else about the spring mix- I have fed the same thing to my bunnies, as I’m sure many others here have. I really don’t think that was it, so don’t blame yourself. In time, you will feel better and be able to think more of the good times, and all the happiness she brought you and how well you cared for her. I hope you stick around this site too- the people here are amazing and many can relate to what you’re going through.
{{{Hugs and prayers}}}

[Beka27]

What a beautiful little girl.

[LittlePuffyTail]

I’m so sorry to hear of the loss of your beautiful bunny. You obviously had a very special bond with each other. Please find peace in the fact that she had a loving home for 6 years. A lot of rabbits never get to experience that.

[Black Rabbit]

Thank you.

I’m trying to deal with this the best I can but I’m having a hard time. Every time I close my eyes I see her face, the way she was looking at me, scared and with “help me” written all over it. The sounds she was making were so horrible. How do you forget that?

I’m not afraid to admit I have spent the better part of two days now crying. I miss her. She was the first thing I saw when I walked in the door and when I woke up every morning.

http://www.greenbrier.cc/ <— this is where she is being buried next Friday. It's a really beautiful place.

BR13

[LittlePuffyTail]

The terrible images will fade with time. I had a beloved bunny die in a lot of pain and it is hard to forget but eventually the good memories will replace the bad.

[bunny-yawns]

I’m so sorry for your loss. Bailey certainly was a beautiful bunny! I think it’s wonderful how you’ve made arrangements for her.
She will always be a part of you.
*hugs*

[Scarlett]

I’m so sorry for your loss! Sounds like Bailey had a wonderful life and that was due to you.

[chefcv3]

I just lost my beloved bunny, King Louie last Sunday in practically the same way.  He was 7 years old  I, too, witnessed Louie screaming and curling in pain and the only difference was that I was actually at the vet and the vet was holding him down.  It was a horrible way for me to see my sweet King Louie pass.  I feel your pain and totally understand how you can’t get that image out of your mind.  It was suggested to me to hang pictures of him around the house so that THAT image of him will stick inside my head instead of the painful image and it is working.

I came to this board for comfort and the support that I got was what got me through the nightmare.  The people here are so unbelievable and it’s what will definitely get you through this.

I am still crying over Louie.  Like you, I gave him his greens religiously at the same time every night and as I would wash them in the sink I could hear Louie in the other room running back and forth in his cage with excitment.  I miss that so much 

Time heals all wombs.  I will never forget my Louie as I am sure you will never forget your beautiful Bailey.

Peace to you.

chris

[bunnytowne]

OH my.    How traumatic for you.   Like everyone else   I do not think it was the greens.   Organic or not. 

An inlaw had a dog he was standing behind her one moment she turned around he was on the floor having a heart attack which killed him.

You found a really nice place to lay him to his rest.    You can visit any time you want.   Thats nice.

The best thing is you were there with your bunny.  As hard as it was on you at least you where there in his last moments.

I pray you will find comfort soon.   That the good memories shine through and the painful one to not hurt so much.

[Black Rabbit]

chris, thank you for sharing your story with me. it has actually comforted me in a way that is a little hard to explain. i’ve actually taken your suggestion. i went out today and grabbed a really nice, big digital photo frame. i filled it with Bailey photo’s and set it on a table right where her cage used to be.

…. it actually brings a smile to my face every time i look over that way. thank you…

[RabbitPam]

Chris made a great suggestion. I had Spockie for 8 years, and after he passed I didn’t realize how many ways I looked around my home expecting to see him. I ended up printing an 8×10 photo of him that I particularly liked and taped it to the wall where his cage was. When I glanced over as I often did (I didn’t realize until then how often) I would see him in the photo. It was very comforting.

Bailey was a very beautiful lop. She looks sweet. I checked out the garden where she’s going. It’s nice. I didn’t realize you were in FL too.

[MimzMum]

Your Bailey was, and still is on the other shore, a beautiful bunny! She is very much like my Mimzy. I am sorry and saddened at the story of her passing.

Your retelling reminded me also of one of my animals companions crossing over in my arms a few years ago. (He was a cat though.) And yes, it is sometimes hard to wipe those moments from our minds. But I think some wonderful suggestions have been made and of course, time, time, time…it is slow and winding like a river, but you do get to newer, happier places eventually.

Bless you. I hope you will find peace and the memories will sweep in and bring smiles to your face instead of tears.

[Black Rabbit]

I just wanted to say “thank you” again. I’m really glad I came across this place.

Bailey was and always will be my little princess. I’d wake up and tell her that just about every day. ….still do actually.

BR

[Kokaneeandkahlua]

I’m so sorry for your loss. What a sudden and terrible loss. As others have said, when these things happen you can come up with 100’s of ‘what ifs’ and it’s important to forgive yourself. You did nothing wrong and she passed at home where she was loved and comfortable. Bailey was beautiful and obviously so well loved. She is watching you from the Rainbow Bridge and smiling.
That cemetary looks beautiful-what a great resting place for her.

[Lintini]

I am so sorry for your loss, she is so precious. *hugs*

[Author]

Messages