Aggression toward me and boyfriend

[SaryRae]

Hi, I have my first bunny pair here and needless to say, I am learning a lot about bunnies. They are not bonded yet (another issue that has me very stressed) but they tolerate each other for now. Aside from my frustration with the bonding, I am very upset by the fact that my male, Duke, really seems to hate us. My girl, Daisy, who I had for a few months before Duke has always loved us. She is a very social bunny who just wants to be around anyone and everyone. Duke couldn’t be more the opposite. He is very cage aggressive for starters and it has finally turned into biting and avoiding us at all costs. He even bites us outside of the cage now which didn’t use to be an issue. Lord forbid we encourage him to interact with us or even Daisy. If you have ever seen 50 First Dates then you know what my progress has been like with Duke. Every single day feels like we are back to square one with him. My boyfriend does not have my patience and gets very frustrated which makes it difficult to get him to want to help much with our attack bunny. Daisy was at first very excited to see a new friend and has since seemed to be very sad with him around after all of his bullying and negative attitude. My problem is that although it has been very hard to bond them, I finally saw some progress yesterday during a marathon bond (I’m back to square one with Duke again today after trying to do another marathon bond) but I am now getting worried that I may bond my Daisy to a rabbit that hates us and then what? My big question is, will Duke take to us more easily if I bond the two? I am afraid I may have picked the wrong bunny and wonder if Duke would be happier in a home where he is the only one and gets all the attention and if Daisy would be better with a bunny who has her social level and enthusiasm. I hate the thought of returning him to the HRS but I am trying hard to figure out what will be best. This is wearing me down and breaking my heart.

[Wick & Fable]

Is Duke neutered? Depending on his age, he could be full-blown hormonal defensive at this point.

I think it’s always important to reframe rabbit aggression as rabbit -fear-. As a prey species, it’s not beneficial for rabbits to be aggressive because they aren’t very good at attacking in terms of overpowering strength, so aggression is typically a last resort because the rabbit is very afraid and is doing it’s best to defend itself and it’s territory.

Hormones aside, I think Duke doesn’t feel very safe in his environment. Stability is important, so it’s good to hold off bonding with Daisy until he feels comfortable with you. Was he like this from the beginning? Since he and Daisy are not bonded, he could be smelling Daisy on you and the environment, and that is throwing up his territorial defensiveness because none of the space smells like him. We’ve had a user in the past that had to do a full shower and clothes change every time they returned from volunteering at a rabbit rescue because their rabbit would go nuts at them.

Each rabbit is different, so what you did to bond with Daisy may not work with Duke. What have you done, what’s the set up, and how often in general does Duke see you?

If you haven’t already, there’s a large section about bonding on this website (outside the forums) which talks about the basics and things to keep in mind.

The answers provided in this discussion are for general guideline purposes only. The information is not intended to diagnose or treat your pet. Seek the advice of your veterinarian or a qualified behaviorist.

[Sirius&Luna]

It’s very important when you bring a new bunny home that you give them time to settle in, away from the existing bunny. As Wick says, rabbit’s aren’t aggressive because they’re angry animals, and he doesn’t have a ‘negative attitude’ – you’re seeing fear. Depending on how long you’ve had him, he could just feel completely overwhelmed by coming into an existing rabbits territory, and then being forced to interact with a bunny he finds scary. As much as bonding is stressful for us, it’s also important to remember it’s scary and stressful for the bunnies too.

Some buns are just naturally more timid, but most will warm up, when given time and patience (and treats!).

Assuming that both are neutered (Side point – some rescues neuter just before you adopt, in which case you could be seeing his post-neuter, aggressive hormonal surge – it normally lasts up to a month after neutering), I would advise the following:

– Move Duke into a room where he doesn’t smell or see Daisy, and spend some time bonding with him. Lie on the floor with him, don’t force him to interact with you, don’t approach him in his cage, and feed him treats if he comes near you. Don’t try to pet him, just let him get used to his new home and new owners. It will really help you with bonding if you have a solid relationship with him. I suggest at least two weeks of this.

– Once Duke has settled in, move the two buns near each other (but ensure they can never touch) and swap them between cages. This gets them used to each others scents, and stops them both feeling territorial. Do this for at least a month.

– Then, you can start the real bonding process, with a short introduction on neutral territory. Remember, if Duke is attacking it’s because he feels scared, so think about what you can do to ensure he feels safe during the process. My female rabbit can be extremely vicious when she’s scared – there were times where I thought she was awful, but it’s really important to try and remember that it’s fear, not just meanness. So, while I was bonding, I spent the whole first few sessions petting and reassurring her – this meant she didn’t keep trying to lunge at the other bunnies, and if she did, my hand was there to stop her. After a few days, she learned that they weren’t a threat to her and I could back off a bit.

[SaryRae]

Duke is neutered and I have read just about everything there is to read about bonding. I have easily spent hours upon hours reading about bonding. He wasn’t like this from the start and he lived in a room completely separate from Daisy for about a month and a half before they met each other. I spend time with each of them daily but he is a rescue so when he first started showing signs of aggression, I kept in mind that it could be due to something that may have happened before we got him either before he was rescued or in the rescue. It’s just getting so hard and I am running out of energy. It seems that on his “good days”, he gets along really well with Daisy and he is much friendlier to us but his bad days are REALLY bad. I feel sorry for him and I really don’t know a lot about how to help. I think it could be beneficial to spend more time with him alone but I don’t see how I could do that without compromising Daisy’s time out of the hutch with me. This is why I wonder if Duke needs to be an only bunny or something?

[SaryRae]

I had Duke in a room of his own across the house from Daisy for about a month and a half before they met but maybe it was still too quick of an introduction? I have tried every bonding tactic imaginable including moving them side by side and cage swapping. I’ve had Daisy since early this year and Duke came only a couple of months after so I’ve easily tried several months worth of different tactics once I felt they were actually ready to meet. It seems that the longer I keep them together, the better they do but of course, the progress is slow and I cannot be by their side for more than a couple of days at a time so I have to separate them eventually and try again the next day (I have settled for 10 hr increments because that seems to work so much better than shorter meetings). It has become very apparent that he needs extra special attention which is why I wonder if my home might not be the right fit for him. I get the feeling he would thrive as a single bunny who can free roam the house and get all the love and attention in the world. I know everything says bunnies do best with a companion but I feel like something may have happened to him prior to my ownership that has made it really hard for him to trust other people and other bunnies.

[sarahthegemini]

Posted By SaryRae on 7/25/2018 10:00 PM

Duke is neutered and I have read just about everything there is to read about bonding. I have easily spent hours upon hours reading about bonding. He wasn’t like this from the start and he lived in a room completely separate from Daisy for about a month and a half before they met each other. I spend time with each of them daily but he is a rescue so when he first started showing signs of aggression, I kept in mind that it could be due to something that may have happened before we got him either before he was rescued or in the rescue. It’s just getting so hard and I am running out of energy. It seems that on his “good days”, he gets along really well with Daisy and he is much friendlier to us but his bad days are REALLY bad. I feel sorry for him and I really don’t know a lot about how to help. I think it could be beneficial to spend more time with him alone but I don’t see how I could do that without compromising Daisy’s time out of the hutch with me. This is why I wonder if Duke needs to be an only bunny or something?

Sounds like that’s the problem – new bun needs to settle in for at least a fortnight, possibly longer if they are very timid away from your existing bun. Then you move them to the same room and pre bond for a month. It sounds like you just put him in a room for 6 weeks and didn’t pre bond properly?

[SaryRae]

The only thing that I did before they moved to the same room was swap toys and that was more by accident just before he was to move to the new room. Seems like any little thing could be what set the mood wrong for him which is what has me confused and upset.

[Hazel]

As Sarah said, prebonding is very important and should be done for at least a month before attempting any physical contact/bonding dates. While you’re doing that, you can also work on improving your relationship with him. I don’t know how much you handle him, but for now I would stop trying to touch him altogether, don’t reach into his cage while he’s in it, no pets and no picking him up. Sit on the floor with him and let him come to you on his own terms. Eventually he will figure out that you’re not a threat and he will become curious about you.

[sarahthegemini]

Posted By SaryRae on 7/26/2018 12:31 PM
The only thing that I did before they moved to the same room was swap toys and that was more by accident just before he was to move to the new room. Seems like any little thing could be what set the mood wrong for him which is what has me confused and upset.

I would take a step back and keep them in the same room and pre bond. Swap them between their cages daily if poss, as well as toys and bowls etc. Do this for a month. I understand it can be very disheartening when you can’t pin point the triggers for setting him off but I really think pre bonding will make a huge difference. So try not to feel down about it – pre bonding can help calm even the most aggressive and fearful of rabbits so don’t lose hope!

[SaryRae]

Okay so just to update this thread, I appreciate all the feedback and I have considered every bit of it. Boyfriend and I had a long conversation about where to go from here. At first, I was a blubbering mess thinking I might have to re-home my little buddy if he really does need to be but we are trying a few more tactics first. We have each been taking turns going into their room and spending time with them with the hutches closed and just kind of hanging out in there. I have also been letting them out in the xpen separately and with Duke, I just hang out in the room and don’t really attempt to do anything except talk to him. I have absolutely not put him back in the pen with Daisy at all since, but continue to swap their belongings (and hutches when I’m able to). One thing that I think has seriously helped is that when wanting to get them back into their hutch, I put a box on the floor and they hop right in so I can get them back to their room without any hassle at all (before it was a long process of trying to trick them into going back in and no amount of treats, click training, salad schedule, etc would help). Daisy is very smart and very defiant but she loves us while Duke could definitely be tricked but I could see that it stressed him out and I think they have quickly learned that the box means I am taking them somewhere so it doesn’t really feel like I am tricking them into anything. Having done these things, that means most of the physical interactions with Duke are when we are feeding him or giving him water, treats, or new toys. I think because of this, he has not growled or lunged at me in a couple of days and he actually allowed my boyfriend to get his water bowl out and refill it without attempting to bite. Boyfriend is having a harder time understanding that Duke isn’t just being mean to be mean but actually feels scared and violated but for me, as Wick mentioned, I am having an easy time ever since they pointed out that aggression = fear, as I had been thinking it was a territory issue. It is very hard to try to figure these little guys out since they are so new to me and very unlike the rabbit I had before. I do my best not to get impatient or feel defeated especially with bunnies being the most complex pets I’ve ever owned. Hopefully what I’m doing now will work and pay off especially now that I have boyfriend on my side and agreeing to spend a little more time with them to help me out. It can definitely get hard doing it all on my own! Anyway, thank you guys for your input. I’m going to read through this again and try to piece together a nice routine for Duke so he can begin enjoying his life with his new family.

[SaryRae]

Aaannd he’s back to the grunting, lunging, and biting. ?

[Laurie]

Definitely sounds similar to my situation – sorry if it seems like a double post! But, my main issue with the new female rabbit is that I know she has PTSD and anxiety (it was a male abuser, and then confused my husband for “that guy”. I’m trying to figure out if there is anything to chill my girl rabbit out?
Sounds like we both need to exercise more patience & love?

[Author]

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