Hi,

We have a 2.5 yr old neutered male and a 3.5 yr old spayed female. Both were fixed under a year old. We had our male as a baby and got our female when she was almost 2 years old. We bonded them about a year and a half ago now, but they’ve never really agreed on hierarchy. They’re definitely bonded as they love each other and get along like a married couple, but they seem to constantly challenge who’s in charge. Because of this, our female refuses to use the litter box. Our male is perfect. He never goes outside the box. His personality is wonderful, he’s curious, bold, affectionate. However, our female has always been timid, easily scared and has no interest in us, she only likes our male. Unfortunately, Im at my wits end with her peeing. The pooping i could get over, but her peeing outside the litter box is exhausting me. I’ve tried everything, reducing their space, moving them to a new space with no scent of them, using vinegar to deep clean everything ect… and I’ve run out of options. We absolutely love and adore Oliver, our male, and we love Lola, but it’s getting to the point where I just can’t keep this up. She’s ruining the floors and constantly cleaning is overly frustrating. I know since they’re bonded, we can’t split them up and we don’t want to get rid of them as a bonded pair, because we don’t want to lose Oliver. I don’t know what else we can try. Are there pairs that just never agree and constantly challenge each other forever? If we could split them, at this point I would, but I know that’s the worst thing we could do, but I’m just so upset. I know there’s likely nothing you can suggest, but out of desperation, I thought I would ask.

Thank you