One Bun Has Passed, Should We Adopt & Bond The Bun Left Behind?

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This topic has 4sd replies, 4 voices, and was last updated 3 years, 1 month ago by Susanne.

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- 10/02/2021 at 5:04 PM
  Bow Tilly
  Participant
  6 posts
  Hello everyone, firstly apologies if this post is in the wrong forum. I wasn’t sure whether to post here or on Rainbow Bridge. We’ve lost one of our bonded girls and we’re wondering whether we should adopt another bun for the girl who’s been left behind.
  
  Nia and Ta are 5 years old and have never spent a day apart. They are spayed house bunnies and truly are our little angels. A few days ago we got home to find that Nia had passed. It was totally out of the blue, she was seemingly healthy and happy just hours before (eating, drinking, pooping, peeing, playing etc). We have been told it’s likely she had a heart attack or seizure and passed painlessly. That offers some comfort but we never got to say goodbye and the whole situation has been heartbreaking and traumatic. She will be so, so missed.
  
  Ta got to spend time with Nia’s body before we took her away. She is currently doing okay and not showing any signs of depression or withdrawal yet. However, seeing her in her home without Nia is so distressing for us and sometimes she just sits there and stares out as if to say “where is she?”. We’re spending as much time with her as possible but we can’t be there 24/7 as Nia was.
  
  We are left wondering whether we should try to introduce another bunny into Ta’s life. Ta will hopefully live for many more years and we would hate for her to be lonely or to miss out on the comfort and companionship of another bunny. But we also wouldn’t want to introduce another bunny too soon or create more stress and upset with the bonding process.
  
  Ta doesn’t travel well so getting her to an adoption centre to meet potential suitors is really tricky. We’ve identified a lovely boy bun looking for a new home who’s a similar age and size. All the articles we could find said it’s best to go for a male bun, not another female. However, he is 4 hours away from us, he has lived his 5 years alone as a singleton and has only ever bonded with humans. He’s exceptionally friendly, neutered and well socialised with people but he has never lived alongside other buns. We’re not sure if this would make bonding him impossible or not.
  
  So after all this rambling, our questions are:
  - How do you decide if/when to get another bun if one from a bonded pair passes away?
  - How do you go about identifying a good fit?
  - How do you manage the bonding process when you’re still grieving for the bun you’ve lost?
  - Can you bond a bun that has only ever lived as a singleton with humans? Is the bun we’ve found worth considering?
  Thank you so much for any advice or support you’re able to offer. Being surrounded by a community of bunny lovers who understand how much they touch our lives and what a huge loss they are has been more comforting than I can describe x
- 10/02/2021 at 8:48 PM
  Wick & Fable
  Moderator
  5813 posts
  I’m very sorry to hear about Nia’s passing. You are absolutely welcome to post separately about Nia in the Rainbow Bridge. Binky free Nia.
  
  Regarding your bulleted questions:
  - Deciding if/when to get another rabbit is going to be dependent on both yourself and Ta. Every rabbit and owner manage grief in different ways. At the minimum, I do suggest waiting at least a month before deciding on anything concretely. Right now, my hope is the priority falls to you and Ta’s well-being without Nia at this time. In terms of rabbits grieving, some rabbits do ‘fine’ after some time passes, some do well with a bit more attention from the owner, and some have behavior changes. Ultimately, if Ta is not motivated to eat, then you will need to forcefeed and do what is necessary until she is feeling better. A stuffy can be a helpful support for some grieving rabbits, so they can groom and snuggle with something.
  - See here for identifying a good fit: https://wabbitwiki.com/wiki/Bonding_rabbits_together#Bunny_dating
  - Bonding when you are grieving is tough — bonding is a time-, space-, and cognitive-resource extensive process in many cases, so I do not recommend doing it if the amount of grief you are holding is too much at this time. It is unusual for a grieving rabbit to need a new companion immediately to overcome significant, health-threatening distress symptoms, so you can take your time. Also, some rabbit rescues offer bonding services, so you may forgo the process yourself.
  - Human-only-interacted rabbits will vary in compatibility with other rabbits. Arguably, almost all rabbits start off as human-only rabbits. Speed dating/initial interactions will be much more telling than lack of rabbit exposure. Most bonds will work eventually, but they may take more time than others.
  The answers provided in this discussion are for general guideline purposes only. The information is not intended to diagnose or treat your pet. Seek the advice of your veterinarian or a qualified behaviorist.
- 10/04/2021 at 12:20 PM
  DanaNM
  Moderator
  9054 posts
  I’m very sorry for your loss. 🙁 Wick has covered all of your questions really well. From personal experience (I’ve had several buns widowed/widowered over the years), it is so so sad to see the remaining bun alone. I hope you will be of some comfort to each other during the grieving process.
  
  One thing you might look into is to see if you can foster another bun. You may decide to try to bond them, or you might decide not to, but having the foster will give your current bun some company and will help you with the process. In my experience, fostering felt less like I was “replacing” my lost bun, but helped me feel like at least I was helping another bun to get adopted. And bunnies do appreciate having neighbors, even if they aren’t bonded to them. Some shelters also have “foster to adopt” programs, so you could try out different bunnies.
  
  I’m glad that Ta is doing ok. Regarding the potential bun you were wondering about, MOST bonding combos do work out, but some pairs take more work than others. There is the rare pairing that just doesnt work (or isn’t worth the effort), but these are rare cases. Personality towards humans really has no relationship to how a bun will be with other bunnies, it’s very hard to predict.
  
  . . . The answers provided in this discussion are for general guideline purposes only. The information is not intended to diagnose or treat your pet. Seek the advice of your veterinarian or a qualified behaviorist.
- 10/05/2021 at 1:52 PM
  Bow Tilly
  Participant
  6 posts
  Hello both!
  
  I want to thank you so, so much for your generous answers, they are so full of insight and wisdom. You’ve offered invaluable support which has helped us to feel a little bit less lost and confused during this difficult time. Having rabbits often feels quite magical to me. They are these wonderful little personalities and souls that brighten our lives and touch us deeply. However, they are ‘pets’ that most of the world knows little about and they are so underappreciated. With Nia’s passing we’ve felt quite alone in terms of the best next steps for us and Ta and also quite misunderstood in our grief. Not here though. So thank you once more xx
  
  Ta is sticking to us like glue at the moment. We’ve had to rearrange our home so she can sleep in the bedroom with us as she doesn’t seem to like sleeping in the room she shared with Nia. They used to both absolutely adore being at home together so that says a lot. I think we are decided on the fact that she needs a new friend as we can’t sustain the kind of contact and comfort she needs. She deserves to live the rest of her life out as happily as possible and we want the best for her. This won’t necessarily be an easy step for us as we just wish we could bring Nia back. But we will do our best and know that whatever steps we take Nia would support them as she too would want the best for Ta.
- 10/11/2021 at 8:13 AM
  Susanne
  Participant
  422 posts
  Good luck. I am going through a similar situation and agree about rabbits being underappreciated. I hope everything works out with a new friend for Ta.
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