Important question: Bite or nip?

I understand a nip for a larger rabbit can be veering towards the same pain as a bite to the receiving smaller rabbit, but I think a part of the bonding process may need to be the larger rabbit realizing that the nipping does not amount to anything productive. It also tells me that when you’re petting them, the “biter” is not in a completely calm state in actuality, so that’s just something to keep in mind. I have a larger (7lb) and smaller (2.5lb) bonded-ish pair, except, as you mention, it is different. The smaller one is the nipper, and admittedly that is why they are “bondish” rather than “bonded”.

In my pair, I will calmly stop the smaller one from nipping while comforting the larger one, as to do two things (I hope): 1) lower the energy of the biting rabbit so it can fully attend to what’s happening, which is that 2) the larger rabbit is not reacting in an aggressive way towards the biting and will continue being calm. I sort of instituted the policy that the smaller rabbit biting the larger rabbit is never going to make her (larger rabbit) go away, but at the same time she isn’t going to retaliate back. Over time, the smaller rabbit learned to not nip her (except sometimes randomly, but he stops after one generally…).

Car rides can certainly help when you get stuck in a rut, so I would try that if you can.

What kind of space are you using? If it’s small and he’s bouncing around a lot, a much larger space might help. That way he could move away without it creating a commotion and stirring everyone up. Large spaces with tunnels and hides (with at least 2 exits) can also be really good for timid bunnies, as it lets them interact more calmly and not feel cornered.

Just as an aside, it’s tempting to try to figure out all the details of what they are saying, but try not to guess too much as to which bunny is the “problem” as I’ve noticed it can set things back a bit. For example, it’s tempting to say, “if only she would stop nipping, he would groom her!”, where as she might be saying “if only he would groom me, I wouldn’t have to nip him!”. One of my friends at the rescue always says that “rabbits don’t speak rabbit”, so just give them time to learn each other’s language.

Love a lot of what you mention @DanaNM!

I will note that adding structures into a bonding space, whether it’s a tunnel, litterbox, etc. can arouse some territorial aggression, so just be on guard for that if you add anything in that space.

Ooh  yeah litter boxes are often a problem, I was thinking more of tunnels or other obstacles to help break up chases and line of sight when things get tense. I like using boxes with both ends opened up, so they are more of a short square tunnel.

They can be hit or miss though, as Wick said. Sometimes one bunny will claim a hide and get territorial over it, so in those cases I usually remove them.

If you haven’t tried it yet (and if the car ride doesn’t seem to help), see if you can try a really big space, like 2 or 3 x-pens linked up. Margo DeMello of the San Diego HRS does a lot of group bondings and she recommends 3 x-pens minimum for a trio bond, ideally larger!

It does sound like you are making progress though, so it prob just means they need more time. It can seem like nothing is happening forever, and then one day they decide they are best friends!

Gotcha, yeah spaces that big are challenging! I had to use my friend’s garage.

Which reminds me of another tip… sometimes trying a completely new space can work wonders. If you are still not seeing any progress in a couple more weeks after trying car rides, you might start asking some friends if you can do some bonding in their kitchen or garage. I know with covid that might be tricky, and depending on where you are the weather might not be nice enough for that, but whenever I’ve been really stuck in a bond moving to a new house has worked wonders. Especially with long bondings, the original neutral space becomes not that neutral after a while, and the added stress of a change of scenery can really help.

Bummer :/

I wouldn’t worry about the cats… since you will be there I doubt they will be a problem (and might actually provide a distraction for the buns to focus on other than each other).