This is a good place for your questions. For more specific advise on bonding matters and methods and also what progress or non-progress you are making, the bonding section is the appropriate section.

I can understand that you are starting to resent her. Keep in mind that many parents of human teenagers also start to resent their teenage offspring. Evolutionary speaking, this  has a purpose  -adolescence is the time when the child becomes an independent individual. This means emancipation from the parents, and quite often, especially where animals are concerned, a rejection of the young adult by the parent. So this is normal, but it is important to remember that it is just a phase in your relationship. You were her best bud, but now she’s a rebellious teenager and you are the mother of a rebellious teenager. You will most likely be best buds again, although she will of course never be a baby again. She will be an adult individual with her own opinions. Girl rabbits can have quite strong opinions, which is normal.

It can take a long time for girl rabbits to “calm down” after a spay. Boy rabbits as a rule calm down about 2 weeks post neuter, although some may need up to 8 weeks.  Girls often needs longer than that, and we’ve had several girls here who needed 6 months before their excessive hormonal behavior subsided.

It is great that she likes interacting with your boyfriend. It means she isn’t anti-social, and it increases the chances that she will be accepting of you too, given time. Your bf might always be her favorite, but things like those are not within our power to decide over. My dog chose my mum as her favorite, which was disconcerting for me, but it wasn’t up to me to decide 😂

It would be very interesting if you added info about your other bun and the interactions between the two!

I second what Bam said, more time may be the main solution. I would also ensure that you aren’t reinforcing negative behaviors unintentionally. Our pets will turn us into “vending machines” if we let them!

If she bites you when you go to give food, don’t give the food. When she charges your hand, it can help to pet the top of her head with the back of the hand, then she will realize she will get pets when she runs up. Reward her for calm behaviors you want to promote, and try to ignore those that you don’t.

Is she free-roam? If so, temporarily restricting her space to a pen that is “hers” might also help with the lunging if it’s territorial. Sometimes I think free-roam rabbits will see the whole space as theirs, and become “cage aggressive” in a sense as they try to defend that space. Having an area that’s hers (that you don’t mess with too much) can help with this.

All of this also might be amplified due to the presence of the other bunny in the house. So if you are spending lots of time with that bunny, you likely smell like him, so she might be reacting more to that than to you specifically. Rabbits are much more smell oriented than we realize!

I’ll reply here even though this is bonding related since this is all related to her behavior.

I take it that Tony isn’t spayed yet? Rabbits reactions towards one another can change dramatically after they are spayed/neutered. Reading this I do think that Tony’s presence might be more of a player in Phil’s behavior than you realize!

They also might behave really differently towards each other in a completely neutral space. So I wouldn’t give up hope yet. It is rare for bonds to be impossible, but it could take a lot of work. Having a bonder lined up is a big plus on your end!

A couple things you can try in the meantime. You can leave a “stuffy” with Tony so it gets Tony’s scent on it (or rub your hands or a brush on both), then give the stuff to Phil. She might attack it, mount it, sniff it, etc. But it can help her get used to Tony’s scent in a non-threatening way. You could also do this with a towel with Tony’s scent on it, but stuffies seem to work well.

In between spending time with Tony and Phil, change your socks, wash your hands, wear a dif sweater, etc. If you think Phil is going to lunge at your hand, wear an oven mitt or glove so you aren’t afraid. If she does lunge at you, just hold your hand there and don’t move it. For getting her used to hand feeding gently again, feeding longer foods (like stems of herbs, lettuce leaves, etc.) is helpful.

This article by the HRS has some really good info that might be helpful to you! https://rabbit.org/faq-aggression/

Once Tony is spayed, you should consider whether you want to do pre-bonding. This would likely require some changes in housing set up. I think ideally you would pen both rabbits, then alternate who gets to come out on free-roam, and swap who is in what pen every day or two. NIC cube condos are my favorite for temporary housing during bonding, as you can made simple ones (with roofs) that can be broken down and reconfigured for the newly bonded pair.

Since Phil is pretty territorial, this might help things as she will have to get used to the other rabbit being in her territory. At first she might be worse, but it should get better over time. The idea is that the rabbit realizes the world hasn’t ended even though the other rabbit is there. Even with sending them off to a bonder, this might set you up for an easier bond and make things go more smoothly once you bring them home.

We alternate play time vs home time and I think it definitely helps. Everything smells like both rabbits so they kind of get used to it. That would make Tony’s smell on you bother your other bunny less. But the smell might be too much until the 2nd rabbit is spayed. I’m sure the spayed rabbit can smell the hormones on the unspayed rabbit in a way we could never understand, and the hormones make her smell like a rival. Female rabbits tend to be dominant so they’ll be more aggressive towards each other than towards a male. That will get better after the 2nd spay!

You’re welcome! Keep us posted on how everything goes with the bonding etc.!