Life Lessons According to Moink

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This topic has 18sd replies, 9 voices, and was last updated 4 years, 1 month ago by prince dorian the bun.

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- 08/22/2020 at 7:45 AM
  Dface
  Participant
  1084 posts
  For anyone unfamiliar, Moink is what I call the larger than life, part potato-part gremlin creature that lives in my kitchen and vaguely resembles a rabbit. I have briefly introduced him here before but below is a list of some of the events that make up our life.
  
  In the year and a half we’ve been together, I have:
  
  -failed to bond him 6 times,
  -had many disastrous vet visits, (including the time he humped a teddy so determinedly that he needed medical attention)
  -lost him countless times ( this creature does not obey the laws of any known Universe)
  -made questionable progress with his mental state
  -not established that he actually is a rabbit
  
  Life with a Moink is not always easy, and as a form of catharsis I have deigned to write some of the many life lessons and wisdoms that Moink would impart if he had opposable thumbs and the ability to write.
  
  The title would probably be :
  “The World According to Moink, and Why Everyone Else Sucks And Moink is the Best and Thats Why They All Hate Me and its not Fair, Someone Please Love Me ”
  And it would sell terribly, because rabbits dont read.
- 08/22/2020 at 7:48 AM
  Dface
  Participant
  1084 posts
  Life Lessons According to Moink
  
  Lessons in Friendship,Part 1: Trust
  
  All potential friends are just enemies who haven’t revealed themselves yet. Always remember that.
  Here is the steps to developing trust:
  
  Step 1:
  
  Never trust anyone, ever at any moment, of your whole life until you die.
  
  This is it. This the only step.
  
  Key Points to Remember:
  
  -Become aggressive and confused if the other rabbit doesn’t trust you immediately. How dare they question your integrity.
  -Be highly suspicious if they do trust you. That bunny is up to something. They aren’t following step one. Anyone who doesn’t follow the rules is untrustworthy.
- 08/22/2020 at 8:07 AM
  Bam
  Moderator
  16957 posts
  Omg! This is hilarious!!! 🤣🤣🤣
- 08/22/2020 at 8:15 AM
  HipHopBunny
  Participant
  640 posts
  *wiping tears from my eyes* 😆 😆 Oh Moink!
- 08/22/2020 at 8:19 AM
  Hazel
  Participant
  2587 posts
  Hilarious! 😆
- 08/22/2020 at 9:13 AM
  DanaNM
  Moderator
  9050 posts
  Oh Moink!!! LOL This is too funny! He sure is cute for a potato-gremlin!
  
  . . . The answers provided in this discussion are for general guideline purposes only. The information is not intended to diagnose or treat your pet. Seek the advice of your veterinarian or a qualified behaviorist.
- 08/22/2020 at 11:55 AM
  Louiethebunny
  Participant
  604 posts
  Ahh, silly Moink! Moink must be a handful, but a funny little guy too!
- 08/23/2020 at 11:03 AM
  Dface
  Participant
  1084 posts
  Life Lessons According to Moink
  
  Lesson in Personal Property.
  
  If you like something, pee on it. Now you own it.
  
  If you dont like something, also pee on it.
  
  You should still own it, even if you don’t like it.
  
  Key Point to Remember:
  
  All things, including humans and other animals are rightfully yours. Pee first, ask questions later.
- 08/23/2020 at 11:09 AM
  HipHopBunny
  Participant
  640 posts
  Okay, I just spit water all over my computer. 😆 Moink, you wild rabbit! 😆
- 08/23/2020 at 11:35 AM
  Dface
  Participant
  1084 posts
  Haha thanks guys, glad you enjoyed it !!
  
  @Louiethebunny handful is an understatement. 😆 He had a rough start, so we try to forgive him his foibles…but some days it is harder to see the funny side 🙄
- 08/24/2020 at 1:24 AM
  Sirius&Luna
  Participant
  2320 posts
  This is the content I came back for <3
- 08/24/2020 at 8:12 AM
  Dface
  Participant
  1084 posts
  Life Lessons According to Moink
  
  Lessons in Friendship,Part 2: Establishing Hierarchy
  
  A good friendship should be completely one-sided.
  
  The word is friendship, and every ship needs a captain, and you are that Captain.
  And the boat.
  And probably the rest of the crew.
  And also the sea.
  
  It’s vital that they understand that you are the entire foundation that is holding everything together. To show them that follow these steps:
  - Demand love and attention immediately.
  - How dare they not revere you instantly.
  - Bite them.BITE THEM NOW THEY NEED TO LEARN.
  - Be confused when they fight back.How dare they.
  - Let the human intervene.
  - Get the pets you so deserve.
  - Notice the other rabbit is also getting pets.
  - Bite them.
  - Your pets. Only yours. There is not enough to share
  - The human will remove the other rabbit at this point.
  This has been a positive experience. You are winning the friendship.
- 08/24/2020 at 9:30 AM
  Bu20055
  Participant
  248 posts
  I love this! What a wise potato-gremlin, Moink! I’ll be sure to remember this when I head back out into the world. Lol 😆
- 08/24/2020 at 9:31 AM
  HipHopBunny
  Participant
  640 posts
  Moink must be really wise in the ways of how life should be run.LOL 😆 His book would be a best seller. 😉
- 08/24/2020 at 4:21 PM
  prince dorian the bun
  Participant
  766 posts
  This is hilarious, my only wish is it were for an illustrated edition, perhaps a few photos of the eloquent Moink?
- 08/29/2020 at 7:23 AM
  Dface
  Participant
  1084 posts
  Life Lessons According to Moink
  
  Lessons in Friendship Part 3: Showing off
  
  It’s important to show other rabbits how great you are.
  Pick your strongest trait, for example, speed.
  Let them know that in the event a predator attacks, you will survive, and you will leave them to die. That is a sacrifice you are willing to make.
  - Amaze them with erratic movement in every direction simultaneously.
  - Wonder why they are acting weird and afraid.
  - Forget that you are showing off
  - Wonder why you are running so fast.
  - Probably because there is danger
  - OH CRAP THERES DANGER
  - Run faster, be more erratic, PUMP THOSE LITTLE LEGS.
  - Realise there is no danger.
  - Blame the other rabbit. This is their fault.
  - Attack them.
  Good work, this has been a great success, you are on the right path to making a best friend in the whole world.
- 08/29/2020 at 7:53 AM
  HipHopBunny
  Participant
  640 posts
  LOL 😆 I love Moink’s sacrifice, very heroic.. 😆
- 08/29/2020 at 8:48 AM
  Dface
  Participant
  1084 posts
  @prince dorian the bun, I actually cant upload images to this thread ! 😕
  
  Here’s a link to one of his insta pics though if you are particularly keen to see him : https://www.instagram.com/p/CD0eGZWlLOk/
  
  Keep in mind thats just his external rabbit form..his true demonic shape doesnt seem to be picked up by cameras.
- 08/31/2020 at 10:13 AM
  prince dorian the bun
  Participant
  766 posts
  @Dface , have you tried adding to your profile and then using the add media to add them to the thread? Dorian did start following Moink so I can see his image, don’t worry I see past that cute bun exterior!
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