Thanks for the advice guys!  
G&J: The bonder was rather rude and unreliable, so we just decided to do it ourselves. Bombur was also coming off his 4th round of EC meds (poor little guy) so I didn’t want to unnecessarily stress out Bombur. I’m pretty glad I did though because it’s been a pretty great experience so far  

Session 3 –> 8/2 1 hour in neutral territory (could’ve gone for much longer but it was 90 degrees without AC)

             Last night’s session was nothing short of a success! We had the blanket laid out right from the start this time, and both buns were quite eager to springboard off their litter boxes and onto the blanket. The first 5 or so minutes they went in opposite directions and did their own exploring but Asriel (as usual) was excited to go find Bombur. I laid out some hay while they were wandering around together, and that was a welcome addition. They happily munched together off and on throughout the session, even when they were seemingly going for the same strands (no food aggression yay!). Just before they were quite happy to just lay together, Bombur got found the papaya container and grabbed it with his mouth, and dragged it off its usual resting spot. In doing this, the container smacked Az square on the head (it’s pretty light, no injured buns!). I was gloved and prepared to stop a possible fight, but Az took it in stride just went on his merry way. At the 20 minute mark they both decided they just wanted to chill together, so the remaning 40 minutes was just them either laying on each other or next to each other. There was no humping at all this time. Still a little bit of bum sniffing from Az. But there was lots of mirrioring each other’s movements, grooming themselves, flops from both, AND A FULL DEAD FLOP FROM ASRIEL! 

Next Steps:
            I plan to do a pretty long session tonight, as they haven’t shown any aggression towards each other at all. I’m hoping to bring their greens and a litter box into the room and stay with them for 4-6 hours. 

Questions:
            I was potentially thinking about marathoning them tomorrow night into Monday morning, IF tonight’s lengthy session goes as smoothly as these previous sessions have. What are the drawbacks to marathoning them? I just feel like they are so completely used to each other from being together for 1.5 years and have shared everything, and no aggression has been occurring, that it could potentially work. My other question is, how would I go about marathoning them? Do I do it in their permanent space and basically clean and rearrange everything before doing it?

So a bit of an update! 

Day 4: We went for 4 hours for this one. I brought a litter box in and I fed them their greens together. There were no issues with greens or the litter box. Both buns were tugging food out of each others mouths and not even caring. We had some slight issues between the 3-4 hour marks, which made me decide to postpone my overnight for another 2 weeks (the next time I have the time to do one). Basically the boys have issues with grooming. Neither boy wants to take the initiative with grooming the other one. There were several grooming stand offs. Once it hit the 3 hour mark, Asriel became frustrated. Whenever he would put his nose in front of Bombur and he ignored, Asriel would decided to mount out of frustration (face and behind). It led to two occasions of chasing, and the second chase led to circling and my poor hand as a casualty to Bombur’s teeth, but at least it wasn’t Asriel, so we weren’t about to have a tornado! After this, both boys went back to their blanket and happily cuddled for the next 15 minutes, when I decided to end on the positive. 

Day 5: This was around 5.5 hours. This was a pretty good session overall. The majority of the time was spent binkying, flopping, cuddling, laying in close proximity, or exploring together. Again, we had some issues around the 3 hour mark with the grooming, so I brought out some coveted banana and put a good smearing on both heads. Asriel was the first to groom the banana off, and Bombur a tad later. Asriel groomed once without coaxing towards the end of the sessions and then both boys spooned for the next half hour, which is how I ended it.

Day 6: I have turned their normal space into semi-neutral by washing a few blankets, and throwing them over the tops of their cages and laying their baby blanket out on the floor then pushing the cages together to see what’s going on. They are doing great for the most part. Sharing the litter box just fine, eating together perfectly, and exploring together happily. BUT we have our humping when not groomed issue, again. Asriel is very insistent on being groomed, and humping Bombur when he doesn’t get his way. I’m almost an hour in, and aside from that things are great. 

Question: what can I possibly do to settle this grooming debate? It seems like it’s going to be problematic in the long run. I’m just a bit confused because during their normal separate run times, Asriel has always been the one to groom Bombur, and quite violently too. Bombur has never once groomed Asriel. I feel like Az set the precedent and now doesn’t want to follow through on it. 

When the humping occurs, I do pull Asriel off and smoosh them together and pet, which I think helps them to continue being amicable toward each other.

Picture of them from last night’s session during our last 30 minutes: 

Day 6 update: WE HAVE ACHIEVED GROOMS! I think Asriel is finally starting to get the hint that Bombur isn’t going to groom, so he started grooming Bombur, and it lasted a solid 10 minutes. Whenever he noticed my phone out he would stop grooming and stare down the camera xD Overall it was a successful session. I only did 2 hours in the new seemi-neutral space just because I didn’t know how they’d react to essentially be in the same space they’ve been sharing for over a year. Nothing really changed. They continued to do almost everything together and follow each other everywhere. In our two hours we only had 3 humping instances, that were quickly dispelled using the smoosh method. We ended the session after both boys had been flopped on each other for a while.

Here’s a link to one of the many grooming videos I took Hubs and I are actually finding sessions a little funny. With us Asriel is very independent and would prefer to explore and come to us occasionally for pets, whereas Bombur is constantly with us and wanting us to love on him and following us everywhere. BUT in bonding sessions, Asriel is very clingy on Bombur and always wants to be with him and binkies around him and flops on him, whereas Bombur’s just kinda like “eh I guess you’re okay and we can chill and eat together”. xD We thought it would be the other way around and Bombur would be all over Az like when we first brought them home.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BmHlVKRlIjX/?hl=en&taken-by=asriel_and_bombur

Thanks G&J! I think the biggest thing that helped was just having them side by side for over a year and sharing everything that entire time. I think it helped to make them instantly comfortable with each other. We had them together when we first got them as babies and they were the best of friends. I think it also helps that they’ve experienced a fair bit of stress, so this isn’t super stressful to them. My husband has severe tourette’s with screaming tics, so they’re very much used to loud noises. We’ve moved houses twices, and they’ve been to the vet a good amount (Az for nail trims and Bombur for his EC). So I think in combination it’s not as stressful to them. It also helps that they’re both relatively relaxed personalities

Last night was their second night in “semi-neutral” territory and it went superbly! Session lasted 3.5 hours with so many binkies and dead flops from both bunnies and a few bunny 500’s. No aggression even when they landed on each other. Grooming is entirely one sided. Asriel grooms Bombur whenever they’re cuddling, but when he asks Bombur to reciprocate and he doesn’t, he gives Bombur a little bum nip. And whenever Bombur feels like Az hasn’t groomed enough he gives Az a little bum nip. No aggression comes from it. They both seem startled and go on their merry way. Asriel only tried to hump twice last night, but as soon as I said “Az no.” he looked at me and then started grooming Bombur instead I do get a little nervous when he grooms because it’s the exact same position he gets in to mount. Both boys looked sad when I separated them for bed time which was a little heartbreaking. Sadly, my time only permits me doing 4-5 hour sessions on the weekdays, so that’s what’s going to happen until the 17th, when the hubs and I plan to marathon from Friday night into Monday morning.

Just wanted to update!

This week has gone pretty smooth, so nothing to really report. Both buns are now grooming each other happily and doing most things together. I feel pretty comfortable leaving the room for a quick second while they’re out. We’re planning to do a full day of them out in their semi neutral territory on Sunday. We’re still planning on our overnight in a week.

Nothing totally new to report since the 10th, but I do have a question. So, I may or may not have fallen asleep for an hour or so while the boys were in a session, and the hubs was a sleep   I panicked myself awake and was picturing a mass of fur everywhere or a bunny tornado, but instead I found them cuddling up next to one of the blanketed cages, and Bombur was grooming Asriel. SO, my question is, before I marathon them Friday night into Monday morning, would it be alright to almost do a try out? Like leave them out together while we sleep at night? We’re obviously in the same room, and would be able to hear and feel if anything broke out between them. They resolved their issues from the beginning, as both buns now happily groom each other, and Asriel has stopped trying to hump. He’ll try at the beginning of the session and stops almost immediately. Just wondering if this would be a good idea. 

Thanks Gordo xD  I think the better half of me wants to do it. The member formerly known as BunNoob thinks I should go for it as well. Maybe for my own sanity I’ll set alarms at hour intervals to check on them. I only sleep like 4-6 hours anyways, so it won’t be too much trouble. 

In the meantime: here’s a photo of breakfast noms from Sunday. my instagram has bunches of videos of them snuggling and kissing @asriel_and_bombur

Unfortunately neither one of us is able to take shifts until the weekend. But I think I’m going to go ahead and overnight them tonight and keep the light dimmed and set an alarm for halfway through the night just to check on them. I feel like it would really help to assure me that this weekend is for sure a good idea.

So a setback occurred after our camp out last night. I had been checking the boys every hour and every time I woke up to check on them they were snuggled up together or laying near each other or grooming each other. About 30 minutes before it was time for me to wake up for work/ end their session I heard a tornado and jolted away. Sure enough, they had just begun a squabble. I was the only casualty in that squabble. I jolted awake as soon as I heard it and I didn’t even think to reach for my gloves. Needless to say I have a massive bite on my left middle finger that hasn’t stopped bleeding in 4 hours because Az latched on and wouldn’t let go. Both buns were fine, and there were no injuries. Bombur did pull a bit of fur from Az (he’s also shedding so not very hard to do right now). Obviously I have no idea what started the squabble as they haven’t show any aggressive behaviors towards each other and Asriel hasn’t really humped him in a few days. So I’m really lost as to what it could’ve been. The only thing I can think of is I turned the light off around 3 and had the nightlight on, which is still bright enough to see. So I don’t know if they spooked each other and didn’t realize who the other one was or they nipped each others bums and didn’t realize it. I don’t know. I have a lot of questions about what happened to cause such an extreme thing.

Now where to go from here? Do I stop sessions for a bit? Do I decrease time in semi neutral? Do I go back to neutral?

Thanks guys! So I’ll just keep doing what I’ve been doing and maybe hold off on their big weekend for another couple of weeks. Also forgot to ask! I know you aren’t supposed to end sessions on a negative, but it was 4:30 in the morning and I was tired and not thinking my best, so naturally I just separated them and put them back in their cages. Is this going to cause any animosity when they meet again tonight? A little anxious about that.

So I’ve had them together the last two nights, but cut the sessions back to 2-3 hours. Wednesday they seemed a little apprehensive at first. Asriel sniffed Bombur’s bum in the very beginning, which made Bombur lunge, but putting my gloved hand in the way dissolved it. That’s been the only issue since their scuffle. After they warmed back up to each other there was cuddles and grooms from Asriel. Asriel has tried to hump a few times but as soon as I say his name he stops. It’s been about 2-3 weeks of bonding, so I’m still intrigued that Asriel still feels the need to hump. Yesterday they were back to being buddy buddy and grooming each other.

Thanks Dana

We’ve actually decided to halt bonding for a few more months just until we’re actually able to have enough time to sort out their issues. Basically it’s turned into a mess since their big scuffle. Az will groom Bombur for the longest time, which doesn’t satisfy Bombur, so he nips and a scuffle breaks out. Az will ask for grooms for a while and get frustrated that Bombur isn’t grooming him, so he nips, and a scuffle breaks out. This happens every few minutes. There’s cuddles in between, but they’re so few and far apart now. If they aren’t eating/in the litter box together, they’re usually having a grooming scuffle. We’ve been hands off without encouraging them to groom, just doing a standard smoosh, we’ve been hands on with juice, we’ve shortened sessions, we’ve put them back in neutral territory. It’s all the same outcome.

The plan was to marathon them over labor day weekend, but at this point it seems very unlikely. We’re going to be rarely home on the weekends in September, and then we’ll be away for a week at the end of the month. So at this point it seemed we should just wait until we’re back in October to try to bond them again and work out their issues. In the meantime I plan to give them each a stuffie and swap it every few days. I know Asriel will appreciate it, but Bombur usually ignores it. Az is just an all around sweetheart. He wants to love and give love and be loved. Bombur just wants to take love without giving anything back. Even when their sessions were going smoothly, you could still find Bombur at my hip on the bed the majority of the session, whereas Az was always trying to be with Bombur and just love him. So I’m not really sure what to do because this honestly seems like a Bombur issue and not a them issue.

I was talking to Ellie on discord the other day, and she was wondering the same thing. Because Bombur is so dependent on me with his many issues, so she thinks its causing him to attach himself to me and not feel the need for a friend. She suggested I stop interacting with him so much that way he starts feeling the need for companionship of his own kind. Which I’m okay with doing, but he gets really depressed when you’re not smothering him in attention. I know most people want this in a bunny, and it’s great I’m not complaining by any means, but I do think its causing a lot of issues between them. Az is very much a normal bunny. He likes attention on his terms, and he’d much rather be with Bombur than with us.

I don’t really trust anyone else (that I personally know) to try to bond them because everyone I know takes what I say about bunnies for a grain of salt. The bonder would’ve been perfect if she wasn’t so unreliable. :/