It depends on when you think you’re ready, honestly. When our last bridge bun went, we ended up waiting about a month before we were looking at adoption pages and we picked up Guinness on the spot. We were still mourning Whisky at the time so it was an emotional choice but it just felt right.

It’s a bit stickier in your case since its a joint decision. I wouldn’t dismiss her wanting a bun as simply because of the pain and keep in mind you two might just have different ideas on what’s the right time to adopt again or not.

That is a tough one Ali A. We lost ours 4 months ago and we haven’t gotten another one yet. That being said, we intend to. But we have mutually agreed that we are not ready and we want to wait.

You have conflicting opinions which is tough. I too never wanted to go through the loss again at first. It was too much. Almost torture. But in time I came to realize that old saying was true, “It’s better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all.” I was very surprised (understatement) at the joy the bunny brought into our lives and in the end it outweighed the heartache when she left.  And that combined with what kind of life she would have had if we didn’t adopt her.  We know for sure, because we know who we adopted her from, it wouldn’t have been fulfilling and most likely very short. Her “sibling” didn’t make it but about 6 months, maybe less. She will always be missed very much and there may always be a slight yearning for her. But it has gotten to a healthy point of acceptance (at least I think it has) and the memories and thoughts are mostly accompanied with smiles instead of tears. But there are no words to describe how bad it was at first.

Anyhow I think you two need to be closer to, if not on, the same page. You sound like you may be a little more accommodating with regard to the situation. It could be that she is trying to squelch the pain with another bun. Not necessarily a bad thing. Everyone is different. And everyone gets through the grieving process different. I would try to encourage patience. Two weeks is really recent. I am no expert but I think a little more patience to allow the process to develop (for lack of a better word) would be in order.

Have you been going with her to the shelters? In visiting you may find one that you or the both of you connect with and then you may know the time is right. Probably the most important thing is to be conscious of the fact that you cannot replace Hershey. Hershey was his own unique self and you two had your own unique relationship with Hershey. The new bunny will never be Hershey. Unfair to you two and the new bunny to have that sort of expectation. And you may be aware of such. But it may be too soon and a little difficult to prevent any subconscious comparing of the new bunny to Hershey which could lead to more emotional disappointment and add frustration on top of the pain of Hershey being gone.

I’m sorry for your loss of Hershey. Again I have to always qualify that I am certainly no expert. But when our little girl passed, two weeks later I was still a wreck. I wasn’t thinking clearly about a lot of things. Hope this helps a little and someone else can give you even more help. I think this forum/website is great too by the way!

Binky free {{{Hershey}}}

P.S.  Our little girl’s, Icey, situation was just like Hershey’s.  She was free roam 24/7 but she had her own area in the dining room.  There wasn’t a dining room table, we ate at the table in the breakfast nook.  So that was entirely her area.  Litter box, food, water, cardboard box tunnels galore.  And when she passed, Janice, that same evening, took everything down and put it away and the place was empty.  And in hindsight, for me, it was smart to help me move along faster with the acceptance that she was gone.  At the time it didn’t matter one way or the other.  Like I said I was a wreck.  But looking back, it would have only increased the heartache of her not being where she was supposed to be with everything else still there.  Anyhow just relating to your situation with Hershey.

Sorry again for your loss.

I am SO Sorry I can relate – here is my husband and I’s story of loss and re-adopting.

We lost our little fluff monster at the end of January of this year – she was my whole world. Don’t get me wrong, my hubby loved her and was very upset too and cried over her loss, But he had pets and lost pets growing up. But I was not allowed to have pets growing up and she was both MY first pet and also OUR first pet. We had had her since a week after moving in to our home. We have not known our home with out her running around.
It’s amazing how quite the house was.

I was NOT coping well. I could not even go into her main area of the house (not that there weren’t signs of her everywhere) so I understanding why you needed to clean up as it was hurting to see it.

Here is what happened in our situation – My hubby is like you and closed himself off from the hurt by saying “no more” and “too soon”. and I felt like I would dishonor her memory by getting another bunny or pet. But again, I was handling my grief well – not that anyone ever does.
But here’s the thing… my husband realized something sooner than I did… He’s recalled a saying I have always loved after the loss of my uncle who I was very close too…

It’s a beautiful quote by Jamie Anderson and it goes like this:
” Grief, I’ve learned, is really just love. It’s all the love you want to give, but cannot. All that unspent love gathers up in the corners of your eyes, the lump in your throat, and in that hollow part of your chest. Grief is just love with no place to go”

I came home from work two days later and there was two little bunnies just waiting for me. He had spent a week working with our local rescue to get these two from an “oops” litter. He told me that I needed to have a place for my love to go to help me let go of my grief just the littlest bit. He told me our bunny would have wanted to me to give these two the same amazing life I had given her. That it would honour her and not dishonour her.

And he was right! It helped me heal faster, and while they have completely different personalities from her (and from eachother) I do see little bits of her in them and yes I still cry sometimes (like right now while I’m typing this) but I smile more when I look at pictures of her.

I’m not saying go out an surprise her with a bunny – but I’m saying that everyone is different. It was two weeks for us. But I don’t feel that two weeks versus 2 months would have made any difference.
Your wife might recognize that she needs a place for her love to go, I realized I did! It did help me!!

Big Hugs to you and your wife!!

Well said, Nutmeg. Fresh perspective with first hand experience. The reason this site rocks.

So sorry to hear about Hershey. Heartbreaking when our beloved bunnies pass over the bridge.

My Flakie passed the bridge in January and I started looking at pictures on line at a rescue centre within a week of him passing. I missed him so so much and still do. My husband said once Flakie goes that’s it no more pets but when he saw the state I was in after his passing he agreed that I needed another bunny in my life so reserved my Basil and had to wait for a female becoming available and reserved Holly and got them both in March.

The time in between was hard mourning wee Flakie and feeling anticipation and excitement of getting my new bunnies. Maybe I needed that time to come to terms with his death maybe I didn’t. My mind really was everywhere at the time. I now have my new buns and for me personally it was the right choice to have two new buns so quickly and love them both so much. I regularly take them to see Flakies grave and his brother Poppy and tell them all about my wonderful bridge buns.

I have learned a lot from my first two bunnies and will put my knowledge and experiences with them to giving my new buns a good long happy life with us.

You will know when the time is right to bring another bunny into your life. I thought these two bunnies don’t have a home they can call their own a good forever home and I felt sad at the thought that they were homeless and that helped me make the decision.

Binky free Hershey

” Grief, I’ve learned, is really just love. It’s all the love you want to give, but cannot. All that unspent love gathers up in the corners of your eyes, the lump in your throat, and in that hollow part of your chest. Grief is just love with no place to go”

This made me tear up at work, so very true & well said. Good luck Nutmeg with your two little buns, & sending lots of love your way Ali A. Binky free (((Hershey)))

Thanks Gordo&Janice. 
It’s first hand experience that no one wishes to have. But thats why I love this site too! We can all come together and share our experiences and learn from eachother. 

Posted By Heaven on 5/02/2018 3:34 AM

” Grief, I’ve learned, is really just love. It’s all the love you want to give, but cannot. All that unspent love gathers up in the corners of your eyes, the lump in your throat, and in that hollow part of your chest. Grief is just love with no place to go”

This made me tear up at work, so very true & well said. Good luck Nutmeg with your two little buns, & sending lots of love your way Ali A. Binky free (((Hershey)))

Thanks Heaven! That quote has gotten me through some hard times. And thanks for the good luck… OMG they are a handful haha I went from one senior bun to two hyper little ones – but they are amazing. They keep me to busy and laughing to hard at their antics to be sad and wallowing for longer than a minute. 

Ali A – please keep us up to date on what you decide. Only you two will know what’s best for YOU, but hopefully some of our posts will help with you understanding where your wife may be coming from too and that it maybe more than just her looking for a band-aid solution for her pain. 
From what I see from your post, the fact that you are hurting this badly just shows the kind of love you had to give to your fur baby and shows the kind of love and amazing home you could give to anther when you are ready. 
Good luck. 

Hi Ali A. I feel that even just by asking the question, you are nearly there

Adopting again does help. It will help.

Maybe think about fostering for a while if you don’t think you can cope with your very own just yet…

Glad to hear you both are on the same page and have a clearer head about what you are going through and your plans in the future. Very happy you will be adopting again at some point. You sound like wonderful caring parents yourselves. Can’t wait to hear about and see your new bunny or bunnies when it happens.

So sorry to hear about your lovely bunny.  

In regards to your question I’d say it all depends on you. I recently lost my beautiful princess Patch, she was only a year old and it broke my heart. I suffer with depression and live alone, relying on my rabbits for company and friendship, as well as something for  me to put all my love into. My mum realised how much of a mess I was and she suggested me getting another rabbit a few days later, I thought this was a bad idea but then I realised that without Patch I was incredibly lonely, so 4 days later I adopted George. He needed me and I needed him. Some people may think that it was too soon and I do still grieve for Patch, however having George has really helped and not only has he improved my life but I’ve also improved his by giving him a loving home. Everyone is different, but I think you and your parter need to decide together when you are ready. Maybe consider adopting, that way you know in your mind that you’re not replacing your beautiful bunny, but helping another bunny live a happy life. 

Awww I’m so glad we can help! It’s always so good to know you aren’t alone when it very much feels like you are.

I’m so glad that quote helped. It’s helped me through much loss myself.
I’m sure I speak for all of us when we say that we are sending good vibes your way and what ever bunny comes in to your home in the future they will be a very luck bunny! AND we can’t wait to hear about it when you do!!
Hugs