I have a mini Rex rabbit and his personality seem the opposite of your bun, my rabbit olaf is a shy loving rabbit that almost gets depressed if I’m not there. You should try bonding with him a little, you can watch TV, read a book or even just relax on your bed with him to bond a little. Mini rex rabbits are usually very chill and friendly bunnit’s, you just need to know more about his personality.

Breed and gender have nothing to do with it. It’s all personality. Not many buns will be ‘lap animals’ anyway btw.

I have two mini lops – one male, one female. Both follow me around to some degree, nudge me, put their paws on me, jump on my knees if they are particularly excited for treats, enjoy being pet and having nose rubs. Buttercup enjoys cheek rubs too. Neither would sit on my lap though. Bunnies in general are quite independent. Affectionate but independent. 

How long have you had him? It can take a while (months to a year) for rabbits to really trust and bond with their humans, depending on the bunny.

Agree that breed and sex don’t have much to do with it.

Bertha is very cuddly, but will lay next to me, rather than climb on my lap.

Some tried and true tips for bonding with your bun:
-hand feeding greens and pellets at meal times
– floor time (as Hazel suggested)
– play “hard to get” – allow him to investigate you while you are on the floor, but don’t try to pet right away
– only pick up when necessary for medical reasons.

I think your expectations of a rabbit are going to end up with you always feeling let down to be honest. A rabbit is never going to be ‘dependent’ on you like a dog would be, and they won’t really seek you out for love. It is very rare for rabbits to have that sort of personality.

You haven’t had him very long, and I imagine if you swapped him you’ll just be in exactly the same situation, or worse because you’ll be starting with a brand new scared rabbit.

My rabbits will hop up to the sofa and sit with me sometimes, but then they also get up and leave when they feel like it. They’ll follow me if they see me go to the fridge, but that’s because they know there will be food.

Hes burrowing and scratching at you when you hold him because he feels scared and wants to be put down.

I agree with the others. A month and a half is not log at all, especially if he’s still a under 6 months old. For one he’s still adjusting to his new environment and this tall potentially dangerous creature (that’s what humans are like to them). Most buns are not lap pets. They don’t like to be picked up either. They are very intelligent and independent creatures. They won’t be like a dog or cat and want cuddles and to sit with you. That doesn’t mean they can’t be loving. But it takes a lot of patience. Switching buns won’t help because as S&L said you could be in the same situation or worse if the bun is more shy and nervous. Some buns can take a year or more to warm to you and trust you, so a month and a half is really not long. Digging is what bunnies do. So I really don’t see how the breeder can be surprised. I had to get my boys a sandbox because they dig so much.
I’ve had my boys almost 9 months. Asriel has been a roller coaster in that time. For the first 4 months he would huddle in a corner and hardly even run around. If you went to pet him he would shudder. Gradually over the next 5 months he started loosening up and trusting me. No, he’s still not 100% pettable. There are days he willingly climbs on me for nose rubs, and there are days that even walking by him freak him out. It has literally taken me all 9 months with him on the floor for at least an hour every night just sitting with him. Not touching or anything, but just sitting there. It really can take time. But you need to have patience with such a new bun.

People are more likely to talk about rabbits that are very sociable and owner-loving/dependent than a rabbit that’s less so. Because of this, a lot of people have a skewed perspective that rabbits should be like that. As mentioned above, that expectation isn’t something to have since in actuality, most rabbits are not that sociable in terms of being a “pet”. There are a good amount of exceptions everywhere, but in the end, most still are like that.

That being said, building trust to nurture a loving relationship can still be fulfilling. You may find you enjoy the relationship you develop with your rabbit more than what you had wanted originally.

For example, I think the idea of a rabbit coming up to sleep by you is really cute, but Wick does not do that. When he wants to sleep, he goes to the bedroom, hops on the dresser, and sleeps. If the room is too loud, he’ll leave and go to his other sleep spot in the living room. I’ve really grown to love this independent behavior because it shows he’s comfortable enough to navigate the space on his own, and he feels in control, rather than activity dictated by owner. One of his sleep times coordinates with mine, so around that time, we’ll follow each other in the bedroom.

I’m sorry but considering swapping him because he isn’t super affectionate is absolutely ridiculous. You’ve had him less than 2 months. You need to have patience. Many bunnies take time to develop trust. My Peanut took months. Even if you did swap him, how do you know what his replacement will be like? Are you going to just keep swapping until you get one that trusts you quickly? :-/

As I said, my Peanut took months. I used to pet him and he would hop away so I decided to stop trying to touch him at all. I figured perhaps he is just a bun that doesn’t want to be touched by humans. However after respecting his boundaries, I started to feel it was okay to pet him again. But I would only pet him a little and then stop before he felt the need to move away.  Now I can pet him all over his head and back, bum, even give him nose rubs. He has only recently started allowing my partner to touch him. We’ve had Peanut (and his sister Buttercup) for over a year. 

I feel like society’s view on how bunny’s “should” be is extremely skewed and this very much influences us. Before I started learning about them I assumed they were like I always pictured them to be. Animals that stayed in a cage and when you felt the need for some companionship you would take them out set them on your lap and cuddle with them. On your terms. That could not be farther from the truth. And I truly believe that more awareness needs to be made about what bunnies are really like. That being said (pardon while I get off my soap box) I believe many people that have a bunny that doesn’t seek them out for pets, is very independent, or doesn’t show interest in playing with them etc, don’t talk about their bunnies behavior. And I think that can stem from the fact that it just isn’t like they expected it to be or even shame because they feel their bunny should be more “bonded” to them. So I think it’s far more common than most people realize. So that being said, try to have realistic expectations for your bunny. Just the fact that he’s showing interest in you when you feed him is a great sign of a bond starting to form. He is learning that he depends on you to care for him. Celebrate those little moments. Bunny’s have great long term memories and so they truly have this unique ability that I’ve never seen in other animals I have had in my life to form complex relationships with people. But it just takes time persistance patience and love. Like others have said it could take a year or even more. When I first got my bunny I honestly was disappointed that she didn’t want me to pet her and that I couldn’t pick her up. Who doesn’t want to pick up a cute snuggly looking bunny? But as time went on and i watched her little personality grow I began to love her so unconditionally that it didn’t matter to me if she ever “loved me back” and that was a huge turning point for me. So I respected her space and made myself constantly available to her on her terms. After about a month of this with her still showing very little interest in me I was laying on my bed one night and to my surprise she hopped up all on her own. She was extremely timid but despite this she hopped over to me and showered me in kisses all over my face. I melted. And I realized then that she did love me. And that ultimately all bunnies do love their owners they’re just all wired differently so they show it differently. So As time goes on and your relationship grows look for those little signs that he loves you and they will melt your heart and be so special. Whether it be kisses or getting excited when you come home or even just flopping near you showing trust. Don’t give up on the bonding process. Remember how much time it takes us to develop close bonds with other humans. We can’t meet someone and immediately a month after meeting them be best friends. While we can have love for humanity in general we can’t instantly love who a person is yet because we don’t even know them. How much more so with a little timid bunny that just came into a strange place with a strange giant. Sorry this got to be so long winded but just know you’re not alone and other people have felt that disappointment When their relationship with their bunny didn’t happen the way they thought it would. But that perseverance and love pay off. Learn to love your bunny for his quirks and his unique personality. There’s no other bunny in the world just like him. He’s one of a kind. So love him for that. And as he gets to know you he’ll love you for who you are in return. It just may not manifest itself in the way you thought it might. And it’s ok to be a little disappointed. Just don’t let the disappointment keep you from seeing the fantastic little bunny he really is and from seeing the little subtle ways he will begin to show his love for you. And just one more point, if you have a lot of time on a pretty regular basis which makes you want that “dependancy” so much more, you can still put that time into your bunny even though it may not be directly playing with him or petting him. Sit on the floor with him for hours. He may completely ignore you. But bunnies are social creatures and they honestly love sometimes to just sit and stare at each other. You don’t have to be interacting to be “together” if it gets boring turn on a tv show or go on Pinterest. And continue doing that. The more time you invest in your bunny he will notice. I truly hope this helps. Good luck!

Cloversmom, I couldn’t have said it any better myself! That was beautiful and exactly how I feel about both of my boys. Bombur and his desire for nonstop cuddles and kisses, and Asriel’s need for space but the occasional nose rub session. They are so perfect in their own way, and watching them grow has been the greatest.

Thanks asriel and bombur. There’s nothing like learning their intricate personalities. But my bonding experience with my bun has been so rewarding though not without its challenges and sometimes negative emotions. But honestly that just makes it that much more rewarding when you accept the challenges and persevere. Sometimes I get a little too passionate about it and want to shout it from the roof tops. I have to control myself

Cloversmom, you almost made me cry! I’m such a sap when it comes to bunnies…. I definitely agree that people have a distorted reality when it comes to rabbits. Most people have that idea you described that they just live in a cage waiting for someone to scoop them up and absorb the power from all their cuteness… HA!

Vickie, you just have to accept that your expectations are unrealistic. Most rabbits are not what you describe, even the really affectionate ones. My darling Ophelia can be quite affectionate, and she will often come to me and nudge me for pets. But when I seek her out and she isn’t feeling it, she lets me know by just getting up, taking a few hops away, and then laying herself back down. I understand that she wants to be left alone at that time, and I am ok with that. I wouldn’t want to be bothering her by petting her when she doesn’t want it. Just take some time and observe your rabbit and his personality, chances are that you will be absolutely amazed at the relationship you can have with him if you just try and communicate with him in his way.

Clover’s mom said it so well, and I have to agree! My first house bunny Bunston was very shy at first. He never became a cuddle bug or groomed me, but we did have a very special relationship and he always needed his “good night pets”. Something about earning the trust of a shy bunny is just so special.

My Bertha is very people oriented, and will come up to beg for pets, but that isn’t typical at all. Having had both of them, I love them both to pieces and wouldn’t trade either.

Keep up floor time (lay on the floor and play hard to get!) and hand feeding. Don’t try to force her to spend time with you, and avoid picking up unless necessary for medical reasons. Make sure she can get in and out of her cage on her own (without being handled).

It’s not so much about “training” as earning their trust, and helping them not see you as a threat.

When she has gotten to the point where she relaxes on the ground near you, don’t immediately reach for her. After a while of that, you can “ask” to pet her by placing your hand in front of her, pinky side down. If she lowers her head, she is accepting your offer to pet her. Pet her head and ears only.

Bunnies are surprising, because they usually make changes in leaps and jumps (go figure), rather than slow and steady change. One day you may feel that she hates you, but one day she will likely decide you are to be trusted, and that will be a great day for you.

I noticed you edited all your responses Vickie, and I want to say that I know the overwhelming responses and long texts is very intimidating and seem aggressive, but we all wish you and your rabbit the best. Online forum posts can sound very abrupt and mean because there’s no human tones in it, but the members you have responded are all definitely trying to help you and your rabbit have the best life possible. I hope our responses did not upset you, but more so inform you.

If you have anymore questions, please feel free to post them! BB members are happy to jump in and offer our nuggets of knowledge, although it may seem very daunting to read.

Sometimes being really passionate about something can make you come across as “intense”. It can be intimidating. We just want to help you understand how to relate to your bunny in a way that he will understand and appreciate. The last thing that anyone wants to deal with is an angry bunny XD They are worse than children!