Oh, I’m so sorry. What a horrible situation for you. We all know and have seen how much effort you have put into this, and you have done absolutely everything that you can.

I can imagine it’s been a horribly stressful couple of months doing this endless bonding, and i know what a toll it takes.

I’m very sorry it didn’t work out, you didn’t deserve that at all.

Just wanted to pop in and say I’m so sorry it didn’t work

Since there’s a wait for the rescue anyway, I think its worth going back to keeping them entirely separate. Maybe if they stop having to interact every day, a bit of a break will make them more likely to get on better if you introduced them again in a month or so (if you could face it… no judgement at all if you can’t). It’s hard to know, and I know its exhausting just thinking about.

Would the rescue not do the bonding for you? I can see why you wouldn’t want to go through the process again, but its a shame that if you found a likely match through dates, that they wouldn’t help solidify the partnership.

Alternatively, is there anyone else, not necessarily from the rescue, that could do the bonding for you? Either with Ophelia and new bun, or Ophelia and Quincy if you decided to have another go. It took me quite a lot of searching in the UK, but I did find a few ‘freelance’ bunny bonders as it were. (Of course, my experience with the bunny bonder did not work at all, but it does take the pressure off you). I found that places that did rabbit boarding often offered a bonding service, so that could be a place to start looking. If you DM me your area I’d be happy to do some research.

I also found a couple of bonders through instagram. I’m not sure if you’re on instagram, but the instagram bunny community is amazing, and if you can find other bunny owners near you they might have recommendations too.

All of that said though, no one would blame you if you just took a long break, and relaxed a bit before getting into all the bonding stress again!

I’m so sorry – I know how hard and long you’ve worked on this and I really thought from your accounts that it was going to work. I know it’ll be tough but if you can get the rescue to work with you they might be able to find a better match for Ophelia with speed-dating.

As @Sirius&Luna suggests, though, you may not be totally out of options if you can find somebody experienced with bonding that can do the work for you.

Oh BN, I’m so sorry that it has taken such a drastic turn. I wonder what on earth happened that made Quincy respond that way? I really thought they were making wonderful progress  

I can completely understand how exhausted you must be and how depleted you are *hugs* I wonder if a break and a fresh start is what they need? It might be worth keeping them completely apart for a month and trying again, as there’s a wait for the shelter anyway? Or reaching out to professional bonder as Sirius&Luna suggested. 

Bunnies can be so unpredictable

It sounds like he’s not compromising at all, so perhaps they are just not right for each other. (Also it turns out maybe that shelter’s advice was right after all, and we were all wrong!)

It certainly sounds like Ophelia is willing to make friends, so I definitely would give it another go with her in the future. I do think you need a break first though, especially if you won’t get much support from the shelter. Take a break and spend some evening doing something other than bunny bonding!

**hugs** BN, I know how you feel, and I’m sorry your bonding experience was so much like mine!

I will say that after a few weeks, I was able to see that rationally it was best for both buns to be separate from each other. And I hope Quincy will find a good forever home as quickly as Boo did! If we lived closer together I might even take him and see if he would work as a bondmate for my darling girl

Take some time. It really is the best for everyone. I’m in graduate school so I also tried to ram in bonding during the summer months, only to have it bleed over into the school year and cause extra stress. You owe it to yourself to take a break and come back to it in a good head space when you are ready! 

Yes, spend some time relaxing and cuddling with Ophelia!

Im so sorry to hear this I completely understand. Not all pairs will bond, just like not all people will get along. It doesnt mean you did something wrong, and it doesnt mean you didnt try hard enough. You did what you could, but they just would not get along.

I dont think Quincy sounds like a jerk bunny, but he definitely is very dominant and it doesnt sound like Ophelia submits enough to his liking. Its great that you have an understanding rescue that is willing to take them when they have space. Im sure they will be able to work with him and help him too. And who knows, maybe someone is going to come in with a super submissive bunny who he matches with perfectly one day I think if you choose to try to bond Ophelia with someone at the rescue, you should wait a week or two first for any nerves she might have to settle. So she can meet them on a fresh start, so to speak.

Jeez… I’m so sorry, Noob. I know exactly what you’re experiencing, since I had high hopes for Chewie with one of our fosters back in the early days. She was a lovely girl and i thought she’d be perfect for the wookie, but he was tiny-bully Quincy and Teyla was poor darling Ophelia .
Your reasoning, despite the torment and heartache you must feel, is sensible and natural. As simplistc as it sounds, if Quincy finds a suitable single-bun home and Ophelia a loving husbun, all the pain will become a fuzzy memory. You really did make a monumental effort with those two. I wish all of you the best and am sending heaps of hugs and noserubs.

Aw man, I’m so sorry to hear this. I too what got into him, that is such a dramatic turn of events.

From all the posts it really did seem like they were progressing, albeit slowly. Some bunnies just wont compromise… (Bertha had a failed bond in between Bunston and Moose where I think something similar happened)

Such a bummer, but I’m really glad to hear you are going to give it a go with speed dating, and I’m sure Quincy will find a great home.

Its awesome youre able to learn from the situation! I definitely agree that these past few months will help you with future bonds. I wish you both luck when youre both ready

Dates can go really well, actually. Its the recommended tactic to use when adding in new rabbits to the home where there already is a rabbit. If the current bun has a successful date, the chances are pretty high that they will bond together. Just make sure Ophelia is comfortable so she can find another bun who matches her ‘true’ personality.

This breaks my heart , I went through this a couple of months ago after my boys stressed each other so much that one got sick , it’s so a hard. It does make it easier though knowing my other boy is in a great rabbit knowledgeable free range home and bonded instantly to a different bunny friend , you will find it eases the hurt greatly knowing your boy is in a great happy environment where he doesn’t need to defend his territory.
It sux though. And Quincy is soooo adorable!

BunNoob, I totally support your decision. It seems you’ve found the perfect home for Quincy. My buns Yohio and Bam wouldn’t bond so they had to be kept apart, separated by a gate that divided the appt in two. I do think Yohio was a happy bunny, but not until he sadly passed did I realize that Bam hadn’t had the best life he could have while Yohio was there. Bam blossomed after Yohio was gone. It wasn’t that he’d been neglected or not had all his needs seen to, it was just like he gave a big sigh of relief. So I’m totally with Boston’s mama about rehoming one bun if there are irreconcilable differences, IF you can find a really good new home. And it seems you have found a great new home for Quincy, where he will be very much loved.