Our 7.5 year old bugger D’Brickshaw passed away after a tough few days. He was equal parts fierce and cuddly. He was an especially significant part of my life (my husband got him when we were broken up and seeing his photo on FB is the reason my husband and I got back in touch). After we moved in together, we bonded D’Brickshaw with my female Jaime, now 10 years old. We always expected D’Brickshaw to out live her. She’s slowing down and needs some help getting on and off the couch, while he was binkying and visiting us on the couch on up until Saturday night.

Come Sunday morning he won’t leave his cage. We thought he was being moody because it happens sometimes. It should have been a red flag that he didn’t bound out of the cage and trample Jaime for a slice of apple. This is the first incident I’m beating myself up for not making the connection.

I went to a work event. Sunday night he is lying down, barely moving and his body feels hard. No rabbit vet near us is open but first thing in the morning I try to syringe feed him baby food and water. I massaged his stomach. Then immediately took him to the vet.

The vet said he had a serious case of Stasis and his stomach was swollen. X-rays reveal not much gas though. His temperature is down and he’s dehydrated. We put him on an IV to rehydrate, gas medicine and a warming bed. We visited him twice at the vet to cuddle and make sure he knew we love him. Tuesday morning the vet called and said his stomach has gone down a bit but not significantly but what’s more concerning is the body temperature has dropped again and he is in kidney failure. Because of the kidneys there wasn’t anything we could do for the stasis and had to put him to sleep. We spent an hour with him, petting him and talking to him and held his paws while they put him under.

The vet said he likely had an underlying kidney issue that caused the stasis.

I’m beating myself up for not being home early enough on Sunday to take him to an emergency vet. Or for not taking it seriously that he didnt want the apple. Or maybe it’s because I wasn’t as on top of my grooming and he got a blockage (he was shaggy and molting).

If it was the kidneys, then I should have been taking him for an annual so we could have caught it sooner and treated it. I had commented to my husband a few weeks ago that he looks older and more scruff lately. I’d also noticed I didn’t have to change their water bottle as much – why didn’t that raise a red flag? I could have known he wasn’t drinking enough.

I regret not cuddling him when he popped up on the couch on Saturday, I pet him but didn’t hold him, maybe I would have felt a difference in his stomach then. Or at least had one last cuddle. I mostly regret not making more time for them and playing with him as much as I used to.

We’re now paying extra close attention to the female. She’s eating and playing happily, almost oblivious (she lived alone for 4 years before meeting him). She wasn’t drinking much water. I bought a new bottle yesterday and now she is drinking. I triple checked the old bottle worked because I started to panic that it hadn’t been and that’s why D’Brickshaw was so dehydrated. But the bottle was working, albeit old and maybe they thought it had a taste? I’m looking for any rationalization for what happened to a bunny who was so full of life until suddenly he wasn’t.

My husband has been recalling the good times and laughing about the silly things D’Brickshaw did. I want to be able to do that. Instead I can’t stop crying and looking for the reason – as it knowing it can somehow bring him back or give me a do-over.

Has anyone else experienced this? How did you move on to acceptance?

EDIT: I just remembered feeding them carrots (crack) earlier in the week, I don’t even know what day, and D’Brickshaw not attacking them. A new wave of guilt and what-ifs is hitting me. The food was always gone at the end of the day so I didn’t think anything was wrong.