Bonding - mixed signals!

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This topic has 4sd replies, 2 voices, and was last updated 7 years, 3 months ago by Ffionwillsx .

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- 08/07/2017 at 3:07 PM
  Ffionwillsx
  Participant
  34 posts
  Hi I’m about a week into my bonding experience – male and hermaohrodite (think more female hormones) both fixed.
  
  Massive progress so far but my male bunny Oscar is giving mixed signals – he will lunge/hold down Lola for about 5seconda then will flop down around her. He is happy going to her, happy for her to be close by as he eats (tends to steal her bowl and she then has to goes to his) but despite flopping around her/into her he will chase/nip her if she comes to him from behind.
  
  Why is this?
  
  Lola is being more submissive if Oscar goes over to her she will place her head down as to not be a threat etc.
  
  Any advice??
  
  They are currently still dating in neutral territory – expen in the kitchen and usually after a 15/20minute car ride. Hoping to try a date without the stress session first tomorrow.
  
  Their first two dates were very heated and third – after the car ride although much more subdued still quite a bit of fur pulling and chasin
  
  Ps today Lola licked/groomed Oscar during the car ride! Progress?!
  
  Both groom themselves during the dates.
  
  Please please please give me feedback on the mixed signals. – I don’t know whether I should stick this out or try something new.
- 08/07/2017 at 3:46 PM
  Mikey
  Participant
  3186 posts
  What do you mean by lunge and hold her down? Does he get on top of her and stay there for a few seconds? If this, its a sign of dominance. He is reminding her that he is the boss in their relationship.
  
  A rabbit putting their head down means three different things. 1) She is showing submission by ‘bowing’/showing she is nonthreatening. 2) She is putting her head down near him or under him to demand grooms; a sign of dominance. 3) Shes head down with her back feet preparing to bolt if needed; a sign of fear. You can determine which by seeing what happens before and during. Like, if he walks near her and she goes head down, its likely 1 or 3 depending on their relationship and how easily she is made nervous. If he walks over and she nudges her head under him, shes demanding grooms I would think its more 1 or 3 given that you said they are still a bit aggressive when put together (fur pulling, chasing, lunging).
- 08/07/2017 at 4:13 PM
  Ffionwillsx
  Participant
  34 posts
  Well when he “pins her” I suppose it’s more of a cross between a jump and lunge and he will put his two front paws on her while she puts he head to the ground then straight from doing this as I said it’s about a two second hold he will then flop right beside her.
  
  However he hasn’t actually presented himself for her to groom, my feelings are that if he were to do this she would happily groom him – then again I am new to this.
  
  Sometimes she is quite confident and will hop around and approach him but the. When he puts her in her place with the pin or a nip she will be more weary. She doesn’t hop away from him though.
  
  No fur pulling tonight – they have just been put back in their respective rooms and they had two food bowls in the pen opposite sides but facing. Eachother and ended the session eating from the same bowl (oscar more so than Lola) then having a quick relax.
  
  Oscar is a free roam bunny and I don’t know if having no experience with other rabbits since being in a litter impacts him? I’ve had him since he was 8weeks.
- 08/07/2017 at 5:07 PM
  Mikey
  Participant
  3186 posts
  Oh ok! Thats a lunge then, although a very ‘soft’ one. Could be one of two things: hes trying to play, or hes trying to prove dominance. I would assume dominance mainly because she doesnt react and he soon after flops. He could be taking her lack of reaction as confirmation that he is boss.
  
  She is likely bowing because she is scared yet. If she is attacked (even gently) every time she is confident around him, she will learn that being confident/exploring/ect = getting attacked by Oscar.
  
  You mentioned that stress bonding works for them. I would try to do more stress sessions more often as long as they dont become too stressed out
- 08/08/2017 at 2:28 PM
  Ffionwillsx
  Participant
  34 posts
  How can I stop oscar lunging at her? We did a 20minute car ride this morning which went well followed by time in the pen – I reduced the size of the pen slightly to see if that impacted Oscar lunging at Lola as she had a fair amount of open space to cross before reaching him.
  
  They were together an hour then we did force snuggled for 2/3minutes before going seperate ways – Lola groomed oscar this morning and they sat side by side for a while.
  
  This evening we did 15minute car ride then into the smaller pen with water and food/pellets. Oscar presented himself to Lola for grooming but lunged in her direction before doing so. He also lunged at her before allowing her to eat. There are two separate dishes side by side.
  
  I really don’t want this to continue and I’m worried that he will be mean and bossy to her forever. He is very relaxed around her but I think that the lunging prior to the cuddle/flopping beside her is making her nervous.
  
  What can I do? I know that I need to be patient but I’m just scared he’s being too much of a bully.
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