I miss my little boy so much. I can’t write this without crying, so bear with me if it doesn’t make much sense. My partner and I got Ted, a Flemish cross, at the end of July after a really rough few months. I was suicidal, and he saved my life — which just makes it even more heartbreaking that I couldn’t save his. He was two months old then, and he was so little! He started out timid, but he got so naughty we had to move house because our (bunny proofed) apartment was set up in such a way it provided too many opportunities for him to get into trouble. I loved him more than I think I’ve ever loved anything before. He and my boyfriend were the best of friends. They would cuddle in bed for hours together, and whenever Steven was sad, Ted jumped on his lap and licked his face until he laughed. He loved making us laugh. He’d lick our toes until we giggled.

He was a little terror though! He ate everything. He didn’t seem to have the ability to spit stuff out, so we had to be super cautious about what he was allowed.

He had a bout of GI stasis on the 13th November. When he failed to perk up at his harness (around 5pm), we knew something was wrong. He loved going for walkies. Then he only ate one piece of lettuce and one pellet, and we knew we had to take him to the emergency vet. That guy usually had a bottomless pit for an stomach. He hadn’t pooped either.

My partner and I don’t have a car, so it took us a few hours to find someone who could drive us to the vet. I still wonder if we got there sooner, would he have made it? We spent a small fortune at the vet, who diagnosed him with stasis and gave him painkillers and an injection to help move his stomach along. 

When we took him home, he was very sleepy and cuddly. He nuzzled up to my boyfriend’s chest all night. He started to get better. He finally pooped, and he started crawling between us, so he had a bit more energy again! He still wasn’t eating, but we felt sure he was going to make it.

That was the night a huge earthquake shook the whole country of New Zealand. The room shook, and then he collapsed onto the ground. He cried, crawled towards me, and then he died. I’ll never forget that sound. 

It seems pretty clear that in his already fragile state from the stasis, the stress of the earthquake was too much for him to handle. My boyfriend and I petted his little body until he went cold.

I miss him so much. We have Buffy now, and she’s beautiful. Different to Ted in every way. Sometimes I feel guilty for loving her so much, but I know he would have wanted me to be happy. He had so much love in his tiny little heart. I miss him so much. I love you, Teddy boy. Binky free.

We dressed him up as a “man bun” for Halloween. His little t-shirt says “future hunk”!

#bigearsdontcare

Ted with my boyfriend — the best of friends <3 One time Steven left his glasses behind when he went to have a shower, and Ted picked them up and ran around looking for him. He gave soooo many kisses when Steve came back.</p>

Miss you, bunny boy.