Hoppus was my first ever pet, bought (as naive as I was back then) from a pet store at just over 8 weeks old in January 2012. Since then, I scrolled the forums of BinkyBunny for every worry and scare I’ve had for him. I learned so much through BB, and I want to say thank you to everyone. You all helped me become the best rabbit slave I could be. Hoppus lived a life full of love, binks and blueberries. Even suffering from E. Cunniculi, he purred and licked every day until the end. In a terrifying episode, my baby Hoppy died in my arms on Thursday.

He was my best friend. He was there for me through thick and thin. High school, boyfriends, college applications, my freshman year. With his costant begging for pets and his eagerness to follow me around the whole apartment, Hoppus made every day brighter. I began and ended my days with him, a goodmorning kiss, a goodnight pat. Dealing with this is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. I can’f sleep, I can’t eat. I can’t stop crying. Walking into my room is so difficult. He died in there, cradled in my arms in the exact same spot where I held him for the very first time three years ago. His cage is in there, untouched since I found him dying. His food is still there. Water untouched. Potty sitting still (thankfully, I had cleaned it shortly prior to his death). I can’t look at fruit, because I know Hoppus would jump all over me for a bite. I can’t sit on the right side of the couch, because that was his side. Little pieces of him (and stray poos) are everywhere. I can’t escape and I haven’t stopped crying since he passed.

I’m having such a hard time dealing with this, and my lack of funds prevent me from getting an autopsy to determine exactly what caused his siezures. His cremation costs have drained my already dwindling bank account. I’m so lost, depressed and confused. But I’m finding comfort in the fact that he died in my arms, surrounded by all the love my boyfriend and I could offer. He’s no longer in pain, and he’s happy. His extra food (which had been unopened, as we were returning from buying it when we found him), bedding and hay was donated to his vet’s office, where many buns will benefit from what he left behind. I’m taking his death as an opportunity to educate others about rabbits and how much love they can give. I’m working through this, and talking about him helps a lot.

Hoppus is gone but his legacy will live forever. I’m currently in the works of finding an artist to design a memorial tattoo in his honor.

I love you, Hoppy. I miss you so much every second. I’d give the world to have you back, but I know you’re okay now, baby. Binky free.