Yesterday afternoon, my sweet Pongo (Holland Lop), passed away in our arms. He had fought a long battle since being found in his cage immobile last April. The vet said he had somehow torn the ligaments from his shoulder and had an ear infection. He amazingly regained most of his arm strength, but was always a little wobbly and had to receive meds every day.

I got a call yesterday from my mom urging me to come home. As she was giving him his meds, she noticed that he had not eaten any of his food from the previous day and that he was very cold and shivering. She called the vet and they insisted it was hypothermia. When I got home he was snuggled in a blanket against her and a heating pad a couple layers down. I tried feeding him his favorite, dried papaya, but he declined. We decided to try rubbing his tummy, and just as she was passing him to me we noticed we were losing him. After a moment of panic, I just held him in my arms. A small part of me wanted to believe he wasn’t gone yet.

 I am so heart broken. Pongo (and his brother Gizmo), were my first bunnies. They helped me through coping with being diagnosed with CFS and Fibro as a teen. They were my reason to get out of bed most days! I can’t help but rack my brain as to whether there was anything more we could have done, or if it was just his time. I just hope that in those last moments as we were holding him, that he understood how much he was loved.

I am spending my day with Gizmo, who had his own cage next to him and had many play dates on my bedroom floor. He seems okay, but I do see him look over to Pongo’s cage every once in a while.