Support for bunparents of rabbits with terminal illness - this forum or Rainbow Bridge?

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BINKYBUNNY FORUMS

This topic has 11sd replies, 6 voices, and was last updated 12 years, 4 months ago by BunnymomKS.

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- 12/11/2012 at 9:05 AM
  BunnymomKS
  Participant
  113 posts
  Hello, anyone who has clicked on this thread. I’m thinking you might be in the same boat. My Shamrock yesterday was diagnosed with cancer. He’s 9-1/2 years old and I am on a limited income, so I wouldn’t be able to afford chemo for him – and at his age, I don’t know if that would be the best choice even if money weren’t an issue. He doesn’t want to be poked and prodded and stuck – and he loves being in my bed and being warm and snuggled. He doesn’t want me to stop petting him. I have pain meds for him, too. His appetite is still good and the issues such as incontinence I am able to help with – put down piddle pads and clean his fur and skin as needed. Since I’m on disability I can be home with him most of the time, too.
  
  I’m doing my best to think positive – to focus on what I can give him, and what he can still do, observing him to see that he does seem to be getting enjoyment out of life and is not in serious discomfort (aware that bunnies hide symptoms, though, so I have to factor that in). And when his time to depart draws near, if he becomes comatose and unaware and can pass quietly, I’ll comfort him and just be there. If he’s suffering but not able to go on his own and I have to have the vet help him along, I’ll gather the courage to do that.
  
  Anyway, I was thinking about how I’m going through “anticipatory grief” – even while being positive, it’s only natural – there are numb feelings, there’s a feeling of vulnerability (will people make insensitive remarks, etc.) and some anxiety about how this will all unfold. And surely I’m not the only one going through this.
  
  So I wondered if this thread could be a support place for us to meet and share whatever we need to. I looked at the Rainbow Bridge forum and thought of posting there but decided to go in this general forum first. I think it might even be a good “sticky” topic if the moderators feel the same way. We have the Rainbow Bridge threads for when our bunnies have passed on, but for the time leading up to it there needs to be something, IMO.
- 12/11/2012 at 12:32 PM
  RabbitPam
  Moderator
  11002 posts
  You sound like you have both your preparation and Shamrock’s well under control, and will bring him comfort as long as you can.
  I think this is better as a thread in the Lounge. The Rainbow Bridge was designed more for comfort for grieving bunny parents after their furbaby has crossed the Bridge.
  I am so sorry to hear about Shamrock’s disease, also. These things are so unpredictable. He clearly responds to your love.
- 12/11/2012 at 1:06 PM
  LittlePuffyTail
  Moderator
  18092 posts
  Hi, Bunnymom,
  
  I’m so very sorry to hear about Shamrock.
  
  Several months ago, I was in the same position as you. My beloved 8 year old Stormy was diagnosed with gastro cancer. Chemo was not an option and anyhow, it’s not very successful in bunnies. I was absolutely devastated. All you can do is be there for him. Spend as much quality time with him as you can. Try not to dwell on the future. It’s okay to cry. I spent many evenings hugging my little guy and crying. I still cry now that he’s passed on. You are definitely not alone in this. **Hugs**
- 12/11/2012 at 7:27 PM
  meow1
  Participant
  322 posts
  Sorry to hear about Shamrock’s diagnosis. I haven’t gone through this with my bunny, but last year our family cat was diagnosed with cancer and had to be quickly euthanised. This year, my best friend, my great dane, was diagnosed with osteosarcoma in June. I was told she might have 4-6 months. We are almost at the 6 month mark, and while she is limping now, I think she is doing better than expected. She just turned ten last month. I completely understand your choice not to do chemo. My option was to amputate, but I knew that wasn’t the best option for her. I think we know our animals well and will know what to do what’s best for them.
- 12/11/2012 at 8:29 PM
  BunnymomKS
  Participant
  113 posts
  Thanks everyone for the wonderful replies. They help me feel not alone. Shamrock is having a little uncoordination. Like when he goes to scratch his ear with his hind leg, it’s very strange – he sticks his leg up so high that it’s like he’s trying to contort it over his neck – and then he stumbles onto his side or back. I am going to have to watch this aspect of his condition closely for his safety. But as of now he has the strength to right himself on his own.
  
  This afternoon he spent a lot of time with his sweetie Miss Frosty. They get along really well, though once in awhile she wants to hump him – she tried once but I told her no and she didn’t try it again. He is willing to groom her (occasionally she will return the favor). She’s kind of spoiled! Most of the time they spent today they were just snuggled up together, or eating hay side by side.
  
  I do think this thread would be best here because more people will find it.
- 12/11/2012 at 11:18 PM
  BinkyBunny
  Moderator
  8776 posts
  I am so sorry. It is very difficult. My bunny Jack, the white bunny that became sort of our BinkyBunny mascot, also had cancer and I only had a month or so left with him after his diagnosis. It’s heartbreaking road knowing it’s coming, but the gift in being able to say goodbye and give extra love and attention can be a positive. He could not pass peacefully on his own and chemo was not an option (like LPT stated, bunnies don’t do very well with chemo) and so as things grew closer,with the help of our vet,he was assisted in a peaceful passing.
  
  I like your idea of a thread of support for terminal illness, but I do feel it is best at the Rainbow bridge. “Stickies/pinned” topics become overlooked over time, and Rainbow Bridge and Support Forum is meant for this kind of the challenges of illness and loss. That is where people will seek it out — to find others that have gone through or are going through the same thing. I can change the Forum Title though of the Rainbow Bridge to reflect terminal illness support. I just have to make sure it’s not misunderstood as illness support for other treatable illnesses. So I will need to think on that and I am open to hearing any title suggestions.
- 12/12/2012 at 10:27 AM
  Sarita
  Participant
  18851 posts
  I’m so sorry to hear about Shamrock. It’s hard when our seniors are diagnosed with terminal illness. I am of the same mind of you as well that I would not put my rabbit through chemo.
  
  Comforting vibes to you and Shamrock.
- 12/12/2012 at 9:06 PM
  BunnymomKS
  Participant
  113 posts
  To BB: Thanks for considering the possibility of making this topic a sticky!
  
  Shamrock again had a nice long cuddle with Frosty – and she behaved herself like a lady today.
  
  I hope his time doesn’t come before the holidays are over at the very least.
- 12/13/2012 at 2:44 AM
  meow1
  Participant
  322 posts
  What about a sub forum in the health and welfare section? My opinion only of course, but I wouldn’t want to go to the rainbow bridge section until that time, it can be too depressing, plus I think the terminal illness area could get overlooked if it were there. I know I wouldn’t think to look there.
- 12/14/2012 at 11:40 PM
  BinkyBunny
  Moderator
  8776 posts
  The feedback I am actually receiving about this (from this thread and directly) is that the Rainbow Bridge should be for those that have passed only. Stickies get overlooked over time, and so right now, I think it will be best to handle these threads about terminally ill bunnies as unique posts that we can give individual attention to. They can be posted in the Q & A (though Lounge is okay). They can be updated by Original Poster and we will offer support as needed. There are many that can relate, and we will gather to the post that we relate to and can help support naturally.
  
  So bottomline BunnymomKS, we are here for YOU and will help you through. Keep us updated and we will continue to offer the support and care you need.
  
  I’m so glad that Shamrock could have a long snuggle with Frosty. I think focusing on what the attention and love you can give him is a wonderful gift. I am sure he knows he is loved and with all of that around him, that will be comforting….for everyone, including you. Some days are harder than others, some are better — it’s normal for our hearts to go through waves of ups and downs through this because it’s still waiting and unresolved. I always gave love to Jack and if I needed to cry, I would keep that away from him. I am not saying that is the right way to do it, it’s just the way I chose because I always wanted him to sense love and joy (as I believe animals an pick up on stress and pain), so I tried my hardest to put on my game face around him, but I would cry if I needed to, away from him. The knowing it’s coming has sort of a mourning process of its own.. Hard to explain. But I think each person has to figure out what is best for them and their situation. I have no doubt that Shamrock feels loved and that’s the greatest gift you can give right now.
  
  Hang in there!
- 12/15/2012 at 9:21 AM
  BunnymomKS
  Participant
  113 posts
  Thanks again, BB. You do speak as one who has been there. I hadn’t thought about whether to consciously conceal my sadness from Shammie, but I have made a resolve to be positive and to convey that to him – you’re right, they do pick up on what we are feeling. In fact, that’s one of the reasons we love our furbabies so much, right? That bond – it’s so special and indescribable, but we definitely know it’s there.
  
  I have heard the process I’m in described as “pre-grieving” or “anticipatory grieving.” I went through it with my parents when they were still alive on Earth. I know it’s recommended we try to stay in the moment and not fret over past or future, but sometimes that’s easier said than done. However, I survived all that. In the case of my mother’s death, there was a long anticipatory process and I had a much easier time than I would have ever anticipated after she passed; I was able to concentrate on making a nice memorial service for her and the good memories. My father’s death a few years prior was sudden and more difficult for that.
  
  With my bunnies (over my lifetime I’ve had 9 bunnies) I have experienced both sudden deaths and anticipated deaths. The hardest one I think was my Bobby in 2003. He had a mysterious downturn from something I still haven’t figured out and that mystified the vet as well, and he was gone within about three weeks. (Plus a month after Bobby’s death was when my Dad died – talk about grief upon grief.)
  
  What hurt about Bobby’s death was that he wasn’t even 3 years old. At least I know that Shamrock has had many years of loving and being loved and having fun and that so far he’s still acting like himself for the most part. And he has his Frosty love to be with.
  
  Don’t know what the future will bring, how fast this progression may be and what bumps on the road there will be, but God Bless Binkybunny for being supportive!
- 01/06/2013 at 8:49 PM
  BunnymomKS
  Participant
  113 posts
  Just an update on Shamrock – he is still with us and in no apparent distress (hard to tell with bunnies, as we all know). But he gets his snuggles and his playtimes. Frosty mostly behaves herself! I’m aware she may have some puzzlement as to what’s going on or feel a little jealous so I have given her special time too.
  
  My concern for Shamrock is that the vet had said he was anemic. I’m wondering if giving him vitamin with iron supplement will help. One of my bunnies a long time ago was sick and I gave her a small dose of Poly Vi Sol for human babies – if I remember correctly the vet said it was okay.
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