August 20th I suddenly lost my diva JJ Winks.

As with any typical Friday night, I came home and hung out on Facebook … in the office (aka JJ’s room).  She seemed to be sleeping, so I didn’t open up her condo to her playpen.  A couple of hours passed without me noticing; it was now midnight.  Hmm, that’s weird – JJ usually throws her food dish or toys around … to demand playtime in her playpen.  I turned around to see that she moved to the bottom level, and she was sleeping again.  I walked over to greet her & offered her a pat on the head … she refused (which isn’t a surprise).  But something didn’t feel right.  So I attached her playpen to let her out for playtime … nothing happened.  I layed down some fresh hay & fresh water.  She refused everything.  She turned her back to me & hid her face.  I hopped in the playpen to coax her out.  She came over, but looked really tired.  She layed down next to me and gazed at me, then turned to gaze at me from her other side.  I started crying because I was afraid to accept that something was really wrong.  So I petted her & she closed her eyes … she stretched out into a lazy bunny flop, but something still didn’t feel right.  It was now 2am.

I set my alarm for 4am, to check on JJ.  She was huddled by the water & there were no fresh poops in her litterbox.  She looked at me with a pained look in her eyes.  And I started to cry again.  As I called to her, she came over & began to cry and cough, fluids were coming out of her lil’ nose.  Immediately, I called PETs Hospital and they said to come in.  Off we went!  I could barely drive, my hands were shaking like crazy … I was telling her to hold on, while she whimpered and cried out in pain.

It was going on 5am.  The doctor said JJ was extremely bloated, and they decompressed her tummy.  They said her color was brighter, and she was more active, and seemed to be responding well to the antibiotics/treatments.  But they wanted to keep her for 24 hours.  I went in to visit her; and she looked like my usually JJ … perky with an attitude.  I asked her to behave while the doctors/nurses took good care of her, and I said I’d be back soon to take her home.

The doctor called me before 7am with an update.  JJ’s tummy got bloated again, and they had to decompress it again.  They spoke with the Radiologist, and found a slight case of pneumonia.  They assured me that they were doing everything possible to help JJ.  How did this all happen?  I kept questioning myself over and over again.

I managed to get a couple hours of sleep.  At 10:30am I called to check on her.  She was doing ok, but showed no interest in eating.  So I told myself, I would head over to see her before I went to my afternoon appointment.  From lack of sleep, I was exhausted … I headed over to my appointment.  I planned to be real quick, so I could visit JJ without rushing off.

At 11:48am, while stuck in Caldecott Tunnel traffic, I got a call from the Doctor.  They apologized, said they did everything, but that JJ passed away.  I was devastated.  It took me 2 hours to get thru all the traffic, to turn around.  I wasn’t there when she took her final breath … omg …
I made it back to PETs, to see her one last time – to hold her one last time.  And then I had to do one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do: I walked out of the hospital with JJ’s carrier … empty.

Everyday seems like a first day …  without my beloved JJ.  She just made 1 year with me (last month).  

Binky Free JJ Winks … Momma & Chessie Love You