IMHO, forget that guy and move on. He sounds like a total loser and not right for you. You deserve much better than that.

As for your back, can you do back/trunk exercises (as approved by a PT or chiropractor) that would strengthen the muscles that support the spine? Perhaps yoga or pilates? Sitting puts increased pressure on your lower back. Can you try adjusting the seat to find a position that doesn’t aggravate your back so much when driving? And have you tried consciously shifting your sitting position every few minutes while driving to relieve the constant pressure on your back? Kind of like taking little stretch breaks whenever you’re at a red light. Just some ideas…….I do hope you feel better and I’m sure having Lolli around helps!

I agree – the guy is a jerk! Don’t worry about him and move on. A guy who is only interested in your “experience” isn’t interested in being in a relationship and getting to know you in the first place.

Agree with Elrohwen – the guy just wants sex from girls and isn’t interested in a relationship, forget him … you’ll meet a lot of jerks in your dating life, don’t let them get you down. Not all guys are just after sex, but a lot are, especially the young ones. And your first time is hardly ever good, so don’t judge all of it by that one time. Find a guy who is genuinely interested in getting to know you, is willing to wait until you’re comfortable and is willing to respect you and just try to roll your eyes at the jerks.

As for your back, my ex used to get sore when driving as well and they sell back pillows specifically for that purpose, seemed to help. Have you tried those?

Hi, Michelle,
I think it’s going around, ie. the presence of jerks. I am really glad you’re seeing a counselor about it. I think that’s the best outlet for you, with the best possible advice forthcoming.

Just a gentle reminder from the old fart of the Forums – we’re kind of rated “G” here. So, while you didn’t say anything inappropriate, talk of sex can be a bit risky because we have younger people and folks from different backgrounds who may not be as comfortable, so just censor yourself in the details when you write, ok? Sometimes we get so used to writing to our regular friends here that we forget that the membership count is actually in the thousands, and you never really know who is reading this on the internet. You can always send a personal message to a favorite member whose advice you’d like via the Message Center, which is a bit more private when it comes to your sex life. Hope I am not hurting your feelings – not my intention.
Feel better!

Hi Michelle

Well, my dad has done his share of online dating, and it has taken many dates to find the one that he is with now. They have been dating for about 7 months, and I actually like her (I’ve actually yelled at a few and my dad ended up dumping them.. they tried to be my mother and that was NOT going to happen).

Before my mom passed, she was dating a man she met on the internet. It was a 10 year relationship. I know it is easier said than done, but it takes a lot of searching for that good man.

There are a lot of slime balls out there on the internet. My dad always wants to kick men that just want to do things with women (I think you know what I mean by this).

*Sending you and Lolli vibes from me and Chacha bun*

I met my hubby online So keep looking for the right guy! Toss the morons to the curb, not worth your time.

My mom got alot of back pain. She used one of those little pillows, and a back brace for long drives. Helped alot.

That guy sounds like a real jerk.

re: your back, I often have back pain as well. I sit all day at work. I found that the only thing that helped me was lifting weights to strengthen my torso. Especially “good mornings” and rows. Good mornings are an exercise where you stand straight up, then bend down like you are touching your toes, and stand back up. It focuses on the lower back. Rows focus on your upper back, you pull something with arms outstretched into your chest, like a rower – that works the upper back.

You can keep it simple by lifting a heavy book and doing good mornings, 3 sets of 15, and then when you are bent over pull the book toward your chest from the ground like rows, another 3 sets of 15. if you do this every other day or just 3 times a week, it should help. I have weights and I do these while I watch the bunnies do binkies. They come up to me like they can’t figure out what I’m doing.

My boyfriend tells me to stretch, and I’ve realized how much people don’t stretch. I do it a lot while I am at the register (I’m a cashier) with my hands, since I am doing repetitive motions all day and do not want carpal tunnel.

I think my bf’s dad has one of those back cushion things from a store called “Relax The back.”

yikes, sorry to hear about your back! like brittany mentioned, stretching everyday is awesome and will help ease your muscles. yoga also goes along those lines!

as for the dude, pshhhhhhhhh. PSH. the lame-o to good guy ratio is pretty off balance, but I am confident you will come across the right one. my advice is not to look so hard. I feel that when we search for a companion, we are on edge and unnatura and our expectations get in the way. if someone messages you or if you meet someone, keep your mindset casual. if nothing happens, so be it. no harm, no foul. and if something does click, it will be that much more rewarding!

I was boyfriendless for over a year before Paul. Paul and I were actually just friends for.. a year lol. then one day we kind of just started dating.. and three and a half years later he’s still around. =P

Michelle, I saw what you originally wrote and if you ever want to talk then let me know. I actually had problems in that department for many years because of my hormone imbalance. Not that you have a problem, but I think I understand. As for that guy, he is just a jerk and you shouldn’t waste your time with him. I don’t have any experience with dating services, but I can’t imagine they are the best place to look. Seems like a lot of people just sign up looking for things other than a long term commitment. Maybe not everyone, after all you were trying to find Mr Right, but it is definitely something you need to keep in mind.
And as for your back, I wouldn’t have any other advice beyond what has already been said. I’m always telling my husband that he needs to do some weight lifting and exercises to help his back. Anyway, I’m sorry that you’re still having issues with this. I don’t have back pain, but I do have nerve pain that is in my arms and sometimes my legs. So I am sorry.

As far as the other issue… there’s a big difference IMO between the act with someone you love and some random person. NOT saying it was a random person, just that once you develop a stronger bond with someone your feelings usually follow and you have more enjoyment. Unless of course there is a medical issue, then I would absolutely recommend you get a doctor’s opinion (more doctors… just what you want, right!)

I’ve known a lot of people who have successfully online-dated. The key is to make your profile broad enough that a variety of people are interested. And be positive! Correspond briefly (maybe a week max), then arrange to meet in a public place for coffee/drinks (not alcohol). If you email/chat too long you develop that mental connection but if the physical connection isn’t there, you just wasted your time. And don’t be afraid to talk with multiple people, even if you do start dating. Until you’re exclusive, I would keep your account going.