It is so hard to have friends who don’t have the same quality of care standards that you have, I know!

Why not purchase a dog water bottle for her (they make ones that have a flip-down bowl so that you can pour some of the water out for the dog), and give it to her as part of her birthday/christmas/whatever gift (so that it doesn’t seem too). I buy gifts for my friend’s pets like that, and I’ve never had them seem upset about it (especially if you say “I saw this at _____ and had to get it for you! Isn’t it cool?!?!). Same for treats – they make adorable “french fries” out of dried sweet potato for dogs, and healthy treats that look like cookies and stuff.

As for his barking/pulling at other dogs/people – does she tighten his leash to keep him from running up to them? If he isn’t bothering the other people (ie, if she is keeping him in his own space, and not letting him invade theirs), I don’t know that it is something to worry about it if it doesn’t bother her. My dog growing up hated other dogs, and would do the same thing on walks. We worked with behaviorists and trainers, and nothing ever really helped (though I think I might be more successful now, my parents were probably a little lax with him). However, we didn’t use extendable leashes, and would hold firmly on his leash and keep him at our side so that he couldn’t approach the other dogs. If they let their dogs approach us (seriously people?!!?! Does our dog LOOK like he wants to be friends?!?!?), we would just grab his leash low down and pull him away. He wasn’t aggressive at all, he would just bark in their face – if it had been aggression, we probably would have used a muzzle.

Hope this helps! I haven’t necessarily made a huge difference for my friend’s pets, but I like to try. I just remind myself that they are still in a loving home, and that there are millions of pets living on the streets and in shelters who would kill for that life, even if it isn’t “perfect”. That makes me feel a lot better about it. For you, it seems like the only real concern for the dog is the water while on walks, which could be threatening.

I think all you can do is make suggestions. And then let it go. To me, criticizing people’s care of their pets is like criticizing their parenting skills. Best just not to go there. But you can make suggestions. As long as the dog isn’t being abused (to where the humane society would step in), there’s not much you can do. If she doesn’t feel the way she cares for him needs to be changed, she’s not going to.

I agree. Criticizing someone’s pet caretaking skills is like criticizing parenting skills. People don’t take too kindly to that no matter how warranted the criticism is. Do you ever go to pet supply stores together? Maybe you could show some enthusiasm for some products that might help her. Talk about how cool you think the pet waterer thing is or whatever. Otherwise, I don’t think there is much you can do without risking the loss of your friendship. I mean, the way she cares for her dog might not be “perfect” but it’s not like she’s abusing it. Many animals are in much worse situations.

I have found it difficult to deal with family members or friends that take less than ideal care of their pets- and have found it IMPOSSIBLE to remain friends with someone that outright makes dumb decisions regarding pet care that causes harm to the pets involved.
I have just learned- that it is the way it is- most people aren’t going to change (either due to lack of money, lack of knowledge or lack of acknowleding that there even is a problem). I recently lost a close friend that I did not approve of her pet care and getting more pets decision- and less than a month later- her dog bit her new puppy and it needs $700 worth of surgery. Nothing I could have said made a bit of difference to her.

Agree with Katnip, if someone I know has animals and refuses to care for them properly, I remove them from my presence.

In my opinion, her treating the dog this way, and not getting it trained, IS animal abuse. She could cause this poor pup some serious health issues by feeding it like that, not to mention potential vet bills for both her and other dog owners due to the way it acts.

A friend of mine, her fiance does not want to get their lab spayed as ‘it is too expensive.’ My friend is not too happy about having to put diapers on their dog when the dog gets their period. I told her “The bigger your dog gets, the more expensive it will be.”

It makes me so angry. Most of my friends know that if they don’t spay or neuter their animals, I won’t even bother with them .. lol.

I grew up in a family that had a few people who mistreated animals and their kids – the family rule was you don’t rat out your family and you don’t say anything, it’s their life. I felt AWFUL every time I had to just turn my head to my cousin’s screams and cries as his father beat him, or ignore the dogs being starved and beaten. Once I was old enough, I stopped following that rule, got several dogs out of those homes and stopped talking to that part of the family. I am not one to hold to you can’t comment on someone who is mistreating their kids/animals – if someone is doing something OBVIOUSLY dangerous and bad for the welfare of something they are in charge of caring for, I will say something. IMO there is nothing wrong with it, even if society considers that a line you should not cross… I consider it worse to NOT say anything and be a silent supporter.

The diet – if she took that advice that is great. Maybe you could give her a brochure or something from animal welfare groups on how to feed a dog if she seemed interested?
When you go walking next, maybe you could bring along a water bottle for the dog and when she sees how thirsty they get in the heat, she might realize “hey, he really does need water” ?
Socializing is just something most dog owners don’t do.. if she keeps him on a tight leash, at least he won’t bite anyone. That would be a hard battle to win. Most people don’t realize how important it is until someone gets bitten, then it is too late.

In the end, if she won’t change the way she treats the dog even after you give her the information – it is then your decision to be her friend still and ignore it, or end the friendship. I have severed several relationships with people over their treatment of animals. Just because it isn’t illegal, doesn’t mean it is right and I see no reason to support the person and their actions.

I know how you feel-my cousin just got a FOURTH cat and one is pregnant because she was planning on getting it fixed…don’t get me started….ended in a big fight and then we dropped it; I know she’s trying to do good, but being irresponsible in doing so. And people drive me crazy the way they care for their dogs.
That being said I feel people food-that is healthy-is good for dogs. Dog food is relatively new and the nutrition studies it’s based off of was done in the 70’s on a small number of dogs (less than 1000) so I don’t believe that’s the only thing a dog should get. Healthy whole food (I’m talking vegetables, human grade properly cooked meat and fruits) is part of a healthy dog diet. Part of-not in addition to. And not junk food. So I’m with ya Garlic is a no-no among other foods you wouldn’t think (macademia nuts, tomato-debatable but I don’t risk it, onion, grapes, raisins, avacado are all very bad) but many are good-carrots, leafy greens, human grade meats, squash. My Mikey is a great eater and loves fruit-and will eat many veggies willingly. OF course he’ll eat any meat

I guess in the end you have to pick your battles-if it’s something that can’t really hurt the animal and the person is unlikely to change or gets their back up then maybe not something to argue about. THough that’s easier said than done. Especially when you care. Sometimes a different approach works too…*sigh* It’s hard though, even people who don’t do a good job often consider their pets their kids and find it offensive to hear that they are wrong

I do my best to help educate them, trying to balance too much information vs being too nosey. But when the animal then dies prematurely, I have an even harder time not giving them some sort of “You know, if you had just not fed them all that pizza crust…” comment. I’m a bastard in that area but basically they just killed an animal due to neglect and self-imposed ignorance and I don’t have any sympathy for someone like that.

Of course they’ve had a better life than being put down in a shelter but still…