Thank you, Karla, for all your suggestions, I found them quite valuable and they make sense. I did, once today, not remove the mini-haven and he still tolerated me coming up quietly to the pen, reaching in, letting him sniff my hand and then petting his forehead, so I’ll just continue doing that. I’ll take some pellets into the bathroom with me, I’ve covered most of the slippery area with textured yoga mats but I’m sure he feels safer in the litterbox which has sides and a backwall for security. In addition, he likes to groom in there. Thanks also for suggesting he associate me with fun, treats, and pets. Buddie did, and associated me with lifting but also treats and pets and after I left him to himself in his pen for days without lifting him, he came to not mind me picking him up because he knew he was going to be petted in my arms and put down again soon after. I guess I was unintentionally trying to hurry Dustor into trusting me because I want to be able to brush him as he has a lot of hair and needs me to brush him. I’ll offer him some pellets and thanks for the tip about putting some in your lap and ignoring him and how long it took Karl to come to trust you and learn to come when his hame is called. I’ve been crooning to Dustor that he’s a good boy when he sits in his litterbox and he just seems to sit there uncertain what to do next. Maybe it’s confusing to him for me to talk to him in so many different things and I’ll just concentrate on calling him by name when he comes for a pellet, and that will be less confusing to him. Thanks!

Dustor runs into the mini-haven when I go to pick him up to take him into the bathroom. He won’t come out unless I leave the pen and make clear I’m not going to try to pick him up again. So it’s a no-win situation. The only way I can pick him up is to remove the mini-haven. When I got him into the bathroom, he hopped as he’s been doing, into the litterbox. I know it’s important I brush him, so I brushed him a little in the litterbox. I also pet him in the litterbox. He lowered his head but tolerated it. My back hurts when I sit on the bathroom floor even though it is covered with yoga mats, so our sessions in the bathroom are relatively brief. I guess I still miss the intimacy I had with Buddie and feel demoralized by Dustor’s mistrust of me. It makes me feel apathetic about giving him time to avoid me before he finally decides to investigate me. I love him but I can’t help feeling hurt by his mistrust of me. I guess I haven’t really come to terms yet with Buddie’s passing and my heart aches for the intimacy I had with him.

My bathroom counter is so narrow the litterbox would tip off, otherwise that’s a good suggesion, Monkeybun. I’m so demoralized by his mistrust of me that sometimes I let the day go by without facing the process of having him run away, lifting the mini-haven, scooping him up, and bringing him to the bathroom only to face his apathy while he sits in the litterbox and that’s one less day that only makes it harder. I’m grateful he seems to be developing good litterbox habits. I guess i feel stuck in getting over my loss of my intimacy with Buddie, and the loss of intimacy with Dustor makes me feel totally lost and what’s any use of me trying to gain his trust, I want it too much to want to make any effort for it.

I’ll try that, Monkeybun, thanks. I have dried papaya bits, do you think one or two would hurt him, still a baby? now and then? A breeder in England said papaya keeps his bunnies from getting hair impactions. I gave two bits to Dustor the other day and he raced around like a jitterbug. Do you think the sugar in it gave him extra bursts of energy?

Buddie was nuts about dried papaya bits, he would beg for more, but I limited his to two or four a day or every other day. I’m mindful not to give Dustor more than one or two bits because he’s still a baby and technically shouldn’t have any fruit yet at all. It’s good to know a treat that’s beneficial as well, especially about hair. Thanks, Karla. Cake? I didn’t know a bunny would enjoy a sweet pastry no-no like that. Maybe Molly and Karl thought since they missed getting some for their birthdays they were entitled to it! LOL

I feared the same thing, Jerseygirl that even touching him in his litterbox might interfere with his litterbox habits and i agree that physical contact when he’s in his litterbox might be a violation of his private space. I think he still feels safe there – I sneezed when I was near him and he hunkered down in his litterbox looking like he was in shock, he probably was, it was a pretty explosive sneeze lol – so I think it’s not too late to switch tactics and still keep his good litterbox habits. I just felt desperate to start grooming him to keep him from swallowing too much excess hair, and he stayed still so I tried it while he was in his litterbox. You’ve brought up a good point though. I’m just afraid he might bolt and fall off whatever higher surface I lift him to. But there’s probably something along the lines of what you’ve suggested that can be worked out. i’ll give it some thought and come up with something. Thanks.

He’s not in a cage, he’s already in a 2′ x 6 ‘ exercise pen and the other day he was doing a few binkies in it, one right ouside his corner litterbox right after he used it so I think he’s pretty pleased with the setup. lol I’ve been taking him to the bathroom for bonding sessions with me as it was in the bathroom chiefly where I got Buddie to bond with me. And he also would race around and get a lot of exercise in the bathroom as well. But as we all know, what works for one bunny may not work for another. I agree with you, Beka, exercise pens are great as a solution for exercise. I have the cable for my phone and computer snaked around the walls of my studio apartment which is a big reason keeping it from being bunny-proofed, otherwise I would consider giving him free roam in the room.

I’m afraid I have to agree with you, it seems what has been has reinforced his conviction that the bathroom is a scary place, despite those brief interludes when he hopped over to sniff me tentatively and investigate the 2nd litterbox before hopping back to his favorite iitterbox refuge. My studio apartment has barely enough room for his pen, every spare foot is taken up by necessary furniture, throughout the room and butts up to his pen. My chair and computer is right practically against the side of his pen and he’s taken to hanging out out in the open relatively near me with nothing but the fence of the pen side between us so I believe despite his cautiousness of me he craves human companionship and wants to be near me and to hear me talking on the phone, moving about because he’s come to feel basically safe with the fence around him unless I disturb him with loud noise or get up and approach the pen gate. When I enter the pen to clean his litterbox, he’s come up to sniff my shoe, then retreats into his mini-haven – for good measure I guess! LOL i removed his tunnels from his pen and there’s now space for me to sit down, not lie on my stomach, but sit. Do you think it would be a violation of his space if I sat down in there with him and just like Monkey suggests, practice lifting him and putting him down til he learns he won’t be hurt?

I must have unforgivably violated him. Now when I entered his pen to brush him, he scurried into his mini-haven and when I lifted it out, he dashed to and fro in a panic, then dashed into his enclosed corner litterbox in his pen, this time. Now I’ve made his pen a scary place as well and made myself to him the scariest thing of all, the thing that’s responsible for him not having a safe place. At least I didn’t go ballistic and rip him out of his pen litterbox. My intentions were good. Apathy has set in again. If he dies from a hair impaction at least you can’t say I didn’t try to keep it from happening. I feel like a violator of this fragile, timid, gentle little being. It’s a no-win situation. It would take months that I’m not about to give, to get him to even come out of the litterbox in my presence, let alone come to me. Despair, apathy and hopelessness is what I’m consumed by.

Thank you, everyone who’s written and checked in, and I’m very grateful for the suggestions and if it were any other bunny but this one that has a deep conviction of mistrust in me, they’d probably already have begun to be effective in gaining some trust and brushing him. But I’m afraid Dustor has given me the conviction that this is a no-win situation. Thanks agian.

Sorry to have taken a while to get back to you, I have been catching up on much needed sleep from having been up all night and day previously. (That is another thing, keeping Dustor from getting solid sleep some nights when I stay up. ) If it hadn’t been for your support and help, I wouldn’t have been able to move forward.  Thank you.  I did feel resigned, RabbitPam, and I was thinking of giving up and just feeding him and watering him and living with a mistrustful bunny even if he did get a hair impaction.  But after I slept, I found myself cleaning his litterbox, setting it up on the shelf, removing his mini-haven. He ran to his bed but I reached down to pet him and he let me stroke his forhead and then my hand went around him, and my other hand his butt, and I lifted him to my chest with no squirming from him!  I pet him at my chest a long time then carried him to the bathroom resigned that even if I violated his private litterbox space, I would still brush him in the litterbox.  Instead I set him down and backed away, crouching a few feet away from him and after hopping to and fro a bit, he came up to me!  He sniffed me, then hopped back near the tub but didn’t go in the litterbox!  He sat still for a long time, then groomed himself for a long time, sat still a long time then impulsively hopped around to explore.  He started to come up to me but apparently changed his mind. Then he sat still for a long while again.  After two hours had gone by,  I figured I should try to brush him but instead just crawled up to him and stroked his forehead.  Then I went back to my space. After about 15 minutes, I went to him and stroked his forehead and this time let my hand continue stroking his ears, back and butt.  He didn’t move.  I don’t know if he dared let himself enjoy it, but he held still for it, next to the litterbox but not in it.  After i went back to my space by the door, he did hop into his litterbox and I heard a few poops drop.  Then he hopped back out near the tub and I stroked his forehead and in the same rhythm as stroking his forehead, I brushed him with the rubber cat brush. I didn’t have access to his other side but didn’t want to push my luck. I stroked him then lifted him with no squirming to my chest.  This time he stretched his neck and tried to look around as I carried him back to his pen. I set him on his bed and exited.  This time he didn’t scurry to his mini-haven! He stayed out and hopped over to his haybin for some hay.  I am fully expecting setbacks tomorrow as I’ve learned that a brief tentative partial success can be followed by a lengthy series of setbacks. I know I wouldn’t have been able to get through this if I hadn’t had your support and help and suggestions which I am bearing in mind, all of them. 

Usagi, thank you for taking the time and effort to give me so much encouragement.

Monkeybun, thank you for your consolation and sharing.

I wouldn’t have been able to do anything more after the low point I’d sunk to if it weren’t for all of you who have written in to share your experiences, suggestions, and insights and given me your consolation, empathy, and encouragement.

I know from my knowledge of myself that I am fully capable of sinking to a lowpoint after tomorrow’s probable setbacks and failures but I don’t think he hates me, for now.

Thankyou for your vote of confidence in me, Monkeybun. I don’t know what my routine is yet. This evening I didn’t try anything. I was without sleep last night and today, again. I did reach in to pet him and he made for his mini-haven. Like I said, tonight would be a setback.

Thanks for your encouragement, Beka. I’m reminded Practically every minute I look at Dustor that this timid tentative little guy is a prey animal. He isn’t about to let me forget it for a moment, it seems.

Thanks, Karla, for sharing your experiences with Karl and for your encouragement. Like I said, tonight I’m giving it – and myself – a rest. He did come over to his haybin while my fingers were pushing hay through the slots for him to better access so there are little minute signs of inroads being made though they don’t outweigh the mistrust. I put a new toy in his pen and it took him over an hour to cautiously inch his way toward it and even then he changed his mind and avoided it again. Then even after he had nibbled at it some, he still was inching cautiously up to it as if he’d first just seen it. Shy boy is really an understatement. He’s petrified. It invokes my maternal instinct to want to cuddle and protect him.

Thank you for your post, Usagi, I found it more valuable than I can say. I’m sure others can benefit from your words as well. Today Dustor was trying to pull the blanket off his bed. I opened the pen gate, reached down and tried to adjust it for him and he stayed there and tried to tug it away from me. So for that one moment he got bold enough to stay where my hand was. Then i entered his pen to clean his litterbox. He dashed into it so I left. Then he came back out and went to his bed. I reached in over the side of the pen, lifted out his litterbox and put in fresh litter. I don’t think i’ll do any more for the night.

Thanks, Karla. I will bear in mind your words. I’m glad to know that sitting near Dustor while he’s in his pen is bonding with him, I hadn’t thought of that. Thanks for pointing it out.

Thanks again for all your words of encouragement everyone. Today I’m fighting the blues because my back was hurting me too much from the previous night of sitting on the yoga mat in the bathroom with him, to be able to sit in Dustor’s pen with him tonight. Tonight he let me pet him while in his bedtunnel, and then let me lift him out and pet him in my arms for a brief while, then gently set him back in the bedtunnel and exited. I had gone to him with the intent of brushing him, but didn’t. No real progress, i guess. At least, hopefully it’s impressing on him that nothing really earthshaking is happening to him before, duirng or after such interludes. I hope his nervousness is lessening rather than increasing.

Two new things arrived today for Dustor. A snuggle tunnel and a willow hay basket. He’s working on the hay basket and so far, has gone so far as to inch his way all of about halfway into the tunnel! I’m glad he has some new things to occupy him as he was seeming bored and somewhat lethargic lately, sitting quietly on his bed and gazing out of the pen. Today while sitting near the pen gate, he wheezed or sneezed about 4 or 5 times in a row and I came out of my chair saying some comforting words to him and went to his pen gate and opened it. He froze in an “about to take flight” position but stayed and permitted me to reach in and stroke his forehead a few times, then I withdrew and left him to himself again. I hope that such interludes are impressing on him that no danger is coming to him during them, with me in and near his space. Although I’d have to say I basically agree with the points raised to leave him to himself in his private spaces and not force contact. I got some timothy hay simple rewards oxbow treats and offered him a couple but so far they’re sitting untouched on the floor of his pen. Maybe he’s not interested because they were handled by me and have my scent on them.

Miracles! But I really need to come up with a truce treat! Today I went to the pengate, opened it and held out a papaya bit. Although he seemed bent on flight, Dustor took it from my fingers, then dropped it on the floor. I also tried holding out the Oxbow simple rewards timothy treat but he sniffed it and didn’t show any further interest in it. Several times today he stood still for petting. Later, I went in and he went into his cat tunnel-bed, then came out and over to where I was. He didn’t move so I picked him up, took him into the bathroom and set him on the yoga mat by the tub. He immediately came over to me and sniffed each of my pants legs. Then he hopped back by the tub. But all the time he was in the bathroom, he didn’t hop into his litterbox. After staying by the door a while, I went over and he stood still for a fairly thorough brushing with the rubber cat brush. Then I went back by the door. He came over to me near my knee and groomed himself very casually. I picked him up and took him back to his pen, set him on his hide’n’sleep bed and exited. He didn’t go into his mini-haven or bed-tunnel but stayed out. I think we’re better together but now is the time I really need a treat, although he’s only ten weeks old and too young for fruit or craisins. Karla I did say Come, Dustor when he took the papaya bit from my fingers but I need something he really likes instead so he’ll feel rewarded. Can anyone come up with something? Thanks!

I seem to be the only one tuning in here of late, but if anyone is listening and interested in what’s happening for us, I’ll post.

I got some rolled Quaker oats and went to the pen door and held out some on my fingers. Dustor hopped over and I said Come Dustor and he nibbled some off, then retreated. And seemed anxious and bent on flight again. I’m hoping he will associate the words with receiving a treat so that in time, when I call him he will come to me. I brought him the oats several times throughout the days. He still retreats after taking a few oats from my fingers and I leave the rest on his bed to eat at his leisure.Today, while he was nibbling on the oats I pet him a bit and lifted him and carried him to the bathroom. This time I didn’t have to remove any of his furniture before lifting him, but I’m not bargaining on that being the case tomorrow. It saves on disappointment. When I set him down in the bathroom, he came up to me and even put his front legs up on my leg and stretched up on his hind legs to sniff me, for the first time. Then, alas, he hopped into a large enclosed litterbox and just sat there grooming himself the rest of the time. About an hour went by and my back was hurting and it didn’t seem like he would ever come out again, so I lifted the lid of the litterbox and groomed him a little. Buddie was much more active in the bathroom and was running around and binkying just a short time after he explored a little from the first but Dustor explores little and has been picking a spot and staying there. Dustor was sliding in the litterbox with the brushing, so I lifted him onto the mat and gave him as good a brushing as I could with the rubber cat brush while petting him. I’m so glad to feel like I know what to do with him. I still hope my ways of making contact with him are making him less nervous with me rather than more. He sure does love to snooze and he’s starting to stretch out more and let himself relax outside of the mini-haven. He now hops through the snuggle tunnel and it’s inside a willow tunnel so that if he feels like nibbling, he nibbles on the willow and leaves the fabric – poly-cotton and plush, alone.

Dustor – The shy little introvert – he looks shy even when he’s sleeping

– Lashkay

Thanks, usagi, I will pass your nice compliments on to Dustor – maybe it will bring him out of his shell more to know he is found to be attractive. lol  He does seem lost in all that fluff!  I’m greatful it’s stayed cool here in SF, I wouldn’t want to be zipped up inside a lot of fur when it’s sweltering. I’m glad to know Lemony – how bout posting a picture? – is warming up to the Oxbow treats. I won’t give up trying, don’t want to chalk up a $4.95 loss yet too. lol  Thanks for relating your experiences with the Oxbow treats. It took Buddie a while to get receptive to different treats too, now that I think about it. Dustor sniffed the Oxbow timothy treat, bit it, then dropped it, so I think I’m on the right path! lol  Yes, the dried papaya bits I’m sure are a help with his ingesting hair. Buddie absolutely adored papaya bits, but because they contain sugar only a few.  By the way, meat tenderizer is good to add to their drinking water I hear. Loosens up the yucky gooey stuff that binds the hairy poo and can lead to hair impaction, in the digestive tract. You are not only thoughtful and kind to say my approach is sweeter than any piece of fruit, it is poetic. What other expertise are you hiding under a bushel basket?  Do you write poetry? Thanks for your encouragement and putting it so sweetly.  I’ll look forward to pics of Lemony.

LOL Monkeybun, I’ve been tempted to trim his bangs but then he wouldn’t remind me of that Warner Bros. cartoon character English sheepdog that always gives Wile E. Coyote the works for trying to steal his sheep.

If you add meat tenderizer (from grocery store) to your bun’s drinking water add 1/4 teaspoon. Change water daily.

You’d best disregard my tip about adding 1/4 teaspoon meat tenderizer to the rabbit’s drinking water at least not until I find out the ratio of water to the meat tenderizer. Sorry for any confusion.

Oh, Lemony is such a striking bunny! !I love her coloring, that rich reddish brown contrasted with the darker brown and creamy white body is beautiful.  You know, that’s just how I pictured Lemony in my mind.  What a fun picture, you’re lucky to have that. Lemony truly is a Wonderbun!!

That’s great that you are volunteering at a good shelter. I’m sure you will learn a lot as well as feel so gratified that you are helping homeless animals until they can be placed in good homes. Congratulations and Good for you!!

Dustor for some reason, decided not to fight me when I went to pick him up yesterday to take him to the bathroom for a brushing. I have no idea what accounts for this change but I’m not looking a gift horse in the mouth! LOL I expect tonight, he’ll scramble to get away again. I’ve learned to expect setbacks in our progress upon each little success. I haven’t been picking him up everyday, some days I’m just to tired and dreading if he’ll put up a fuss.

When I give him some oats as a treat and to keep him practicing to learn the “come, Dustor” command, his little mouth feels so warm against my hand. And, briefly, I feel so connected with him. But you can count on him to be very fleeting and hurry off and not linger too long over my hand…lest I become predator-like, I imagine. Dustor is a more solitary and independent individual than Buddie and Lash were. Buddie and Lash were both clamoring for my attention, Buddie constantly after he was finished with his daily nap. I felt I couldn’t be attentive enough to him to suit him. So, it’s a welcome relief in a way that Dustor keeps to himself and doesn’t demand my attention constantly. I loved Buddie and always will and I do miss the intimacy he let me enjoy with him.

For those of you who have expressed interest &/or support in the ongoing saga of lashkay getting to Dustor’s heart (as with men, one way is through their stomach! LOL) I have to tell you about my wonderful investment in an everywhere chair from the comfort store. I’m now able to sit for hours comfortably close to the floor in Dustor’s pen with him – and not get a backache or bodyache! The raised back support supports my back, held in place by buckled nylon straps. If backpain woes keep you from getting down and close with your bun, you might want to look into this floor chair option. Dustor is letting me pet him up and down and groom him while sitting in the chair in his pen, which is 2×6′ and cozy but large enough for him to do his bunny500’s at odd times throughout the day As I’m sure you can just imagine this has been a tremendous boost that makes possible our genuine bonding now that I’m able to sit in his pen with him and access him up close and personal. A few papaya bits and Quaker raw rolled oats are all I’m finding he’ll still take for treats. But now when I come up to the pen gate, he comes right up to meet me, hoping for oats or papaya bits. Sometimes he gets just pets combined with massaging for a while which he seems to enjoy more and more. Also he’s become less fidgety and endures when I brush him with the hairbuster comb, although I’m more gentle for his sake than I’d like to be. Thanks, everyone for your interest and tips, they’re paying off for me and my Dustor!

Haha, Jerseygirl, a little scottish blackface sheep – that’s funny! He reminded me of a english sheepDOG, with those white bangs in his eyes. But sheep is a good analogy, I can see that! And the hair that pulls away on the comb is quite wooly as you say, just like a little lamb’s. Yes, the chair folds up, but I’ve been keeping it open and just lift it into the pen – it’s nice and lightweight. Thanks for the good thoughts from Dustor and me.