Hi guys! Sorry I haven’t been back in for a bit. My boy has been using the PC for home school and we just had to download iTunes for his Shuffle he got for Xmas and that took two days with my crummy dial-up. >.<

Y’all must’ve been sending some serious vibes, because the weather seems to be ready to lift by this weekend and, while the mass isn’t any better, it’s really no worse (barring the odor which is horrific) and my money came in so I can make an appointment for him now.

The worst part is just knowing what an ordeal he’s up for. The trip into town is not going to be fun for any of us. For the millionth time, I TRULY wish there was a competent vet closer to our location.

I brought him in last night because he and the other dog were fighting over food a bit. (no real violence, but growly snappy barks) And it was so sad to see the poor boy just slowly slide to the floor (when he really should’ve gone for a walk after eating) and just want to go to sleep. My poor boy….

Thanks so much for all your concern. Please keep those vibes coming!

Well the hubby has appointments set up for his business at the first of the week, so I think we’re taking him in by mid week. We should have some snow coming by then and temps will FINALLY be up to about 0 or higher.
We had him in last night again and the ear was looking the same. Didn’t smell as bad though, that was weird…but probably a good sign. ^_^

His poor back is pretty bad off. He usually bobbles and sometimes lands on his fanny during a walk, but it’s getting more often now. (Mostly due to the cold we think.) I hope he doesn’t try standing up much in the car on the way. We’ll have him cinched down somewhat, but he’s got to be able to move in case we need to make a “pit stop”.

Thanks Rachel. I’ve had the game since it came out (for PS2) but have never played it. My son just got me a PS2 Thin for Xmas and the paddle controls are so different from the Nintendo games I usually play I am having a heck of a time just navigating the starting screens. >_<

I know this is a bunny site, but I just love Amaterasu/Shiranui and considering that my dog is foremost in my mind right now, it seemed the right one to put up. (although I can’t see it yet, it won’t show for me till I next login)

Thanks LC! ^_^ His name is Shadow.

Pam the cart is something we have looked into before. I totally appreciate your info and links, and I’ll keep it in mind for consideration but…. If it were any other dog but Shadow I’d leap at the chance.
Please let me take a moment to bring some of the history of our dog and his breed here because there are a few considerations that have to be given:

The MacKenzie River Husky is a dog bred from the needs of the Cooke and Peary expedition to the pole. The dogs they brought with them could not handle the workload, so they took St.Bernard, Alaskan Malamute and wolf and crossbred the three lines to make the Mack. This animal has a physical and mental/emotional essential NEED to walk/run/jog whatever it takes to keep moving. I have seen dogs like this pine in yards where they are not able to get out and move and it does obvious damage to their mind, body and heart. They are the happiest when they are on trail and flying over the coutryside, like my dear Shadow used to do in his youth. He was fascinating to watch. He was taken from a tiny yard on base in North Pole, and given a whole five acres and the surrounding dog trails to wander and he’s never been happier than he was then. Even though he hurts, he gets impatient to see me outside the arctic entry with the lead in my hand, he’ll paw the gate and hoot until I get it open.

If I were to try to strap Shadow to a cart, it might make him more mobile, or, I fear, it might actually have the opposite effect and cause him to think that his life is losing quality. This is a dog who wants to die on his feet on the trail…it is the hallmark of his breed. And I’ve walked with him many times and had him drop on me. He refuses help! He balks if I try to move him back on his feet. It’s he who gets his butt up, no matter the pain and keeps going under his own power. To see this just rips me apart, but if I try to lift him or carry him, he just goes limp until I can’t move him anymore and then he waits till I back off to get up himself. He actually will move faster if I just back away and call him. What kind of dog becomes a dead weight if you try to move him and almost digs in his heels to stop you? (Of course, he’s a heavy, big dog too, so perhaps he’s just trying to spare me a hernia.)

And yet I can think of just as many other times that he out-walks me. You can see he wants to go farther on our walks, but he’ll look back and me and see me huffing and puffing and he’ll turn around and head from home, usually dragging me with him…lolz.

We have been thinking that for the last few years, we weren’t going to see him pass another winter, as that’s the worst season for him when it comes to walking. But he holds on, and I’m positive it’s because we take him for as many walks as we can without tiring him or causing him too much pain and really cold days we bring him indoors where he’s more comfortable-if somewhat claustrophobic. And summer brings blissful relief from the cold.

He knows we love and need him, and I can see he doesn’t want to leave us. But he also has an obvious need to, how should I say it, preserve his…dignity? Pride? The sheer joy of mobility under his own power? I’m not sure which. Can a dog have pride? When you look at Shadow, when you know him…you wonder….

It’s such an ingrained piece of his psyche, to run or try to run. I say it’s the wolf in him. If only his front legs are moving and the rest of him is sitting still, wouldn’t it be a contradiction? Could it sadden him to the point of giving up? Or would it really help him be more comfortable and perk up? I just can’t say for sure if it would be a benefit.

I also have some doubt his mid back could handle the strain, it is so weak these days. He used to be forced to do freight pull by his old owners…even trying to strap him in harness and pull me in a sled was sometimes too scary for him and he’d kind of flip out, so we only ran him alongside of us on the ATV’s. He loved that freedom and I can still hear the collar ringing with each bound he took…it was like living in the movie “Balto.”

It may be, when we go to the doc, that she looks at him, and hears his story, she may also offer the idea of the cart. Or there’s always the possibility that she recommends he be put down. Perhaps he’s already passed the point of no return and we just aren’t seeing it. I admit I don’t see the light in his eyes I used to see..now he just looks tired most of the time…if he warms up he seems to feel better and I find the old smile he’s given me over the years, but it’s less and less these days. Euthanasia would be the hardest thing we’ve ever had to do, but if it comes to that, I have to be ready for it and I know we’d do it if it was best for him. He deserves that much from us. I’ve not forgotten that I’ve promised (since my cat died in my arms last winter) that NONE of my animals will suffer past the point where quality of life is no longer a factor. If there’s any animal companion I have currently that needs that promise to be remembered, it’s Shadow.

Okay, that was all very long-winded, but hopefully it explains my dilemma a little better.

The ear was bleeding again today. We have to bring him in and clean it up to see what’s happened. My guess is he, or the other dog, must’ve torn it open again.

Thanks Pam. I was hoping I hadn’t sounded too harsh or that I was just discounting your idea. It was a good one and one we have put some thought into.

I took another look at his ear today. It is looking to me as if the mass is enlarging, but with the temperature climbing towards zero now, perhaps the deep cold just kept it from swelling. Either way, he goes in on Wednesday morning to see what can be done. Needless to say, I’ll be a wreck until a judgment is made.

We’ll do the best we can for our boy. He’s had many more years than he would’ve had where he originally was. Not to wax morbid, but I have some beautiful pictures in my mind of his happy grin and it’s over sized (to almost a comical length) tongue hanging out of his face after a particularly good day out and about. While he was indoors today, he seemed a little more comfortable, and there was a little sparkle. But oh that ear is paining him. I wonder if we still have any Metacam lying about from Taiku’s accident…. If not, I may request a bit more when we see the vet. He did better with that than with enteric aspirin or Rimadyl.

I’m trying to look towards the best outcome. I can always hope that things will turn once again to me having another summer with him. But yes, he is getting on in years and I think the doc will be able to tell me what we’re looking at for a future with him in it.

I was just thinking today of how he actually used to play hide and seek with me in our backyard. I’d run off when he wasn’t paying attention and duck behind one of the many little saplings we have there and I’d watch him…he’d be looking back and forth, that darned tongue lolling out of his maw like a razor strap, and the most puzzled look on his face. He begin to trot off in one direction and I’d call out to him and TOING! Ears at attention, eyes searching and then he’d get a fix on where he thought I was and come galumping over the ground and about bowl me over when he found out where I was. Then we’d go back to the start and do it all over again. He loved that. We both did.

I think he could still manage a few rounds. He wouldn’t be flying like he used to, but he’d come looking for me eventually. Goof. ^_^

Just a quick update tonight. I am blasted from getting up WAY early and taking Shadow to the vet.

He went through the surgery well, but was not steady enough for the vet to release him today. (There was the brief possibility.) His tumor was lasered off and they also were kind enough to give him a full bath and trim down to the toenails at their “LaundroMutt”. (Well, I get to pay for it, of course.) Doctor thinks his back pain can be taken care of with some Metacam and perhaps he has a thyroid disorder. (Common at his age.) We’ll know more about the tests results tomorrow.

The only things that really hurt were seeing him put in the largest kennel they had. It was about four feet high by maybe five feet wide and only about three feet deep at the most. He barely fit. That killed me. He does not like small spaces. And to have to be there all night….

And while I was taking care of the estimate cost, they took him away and put him in that cage. I didn’t even get to really properly say goodbye and give him a hug and kiss. I know he made it through surgery and will most likely be fine…but if anything had gone wrong….

I’ve been a wreck all day. I’m still not myself. But serendipity would have it that my grandfather’s cousin sent me this cute email. (My antivirus clipped the pix out fo it, so it’s just the text.) I’ve made a copy and am taking it in with me tomorrow when we pick Shadow up. I don’t really HAVE to go in, but I promised him I’d come get him. So, another really EARLY day for me tomorrow. ;_;

*sigh* No less than $1000 for the whole procedure…if they haven’t added on. *yikes*

He’s worth every penny.

Here’s the funny….

Ten Peeves that Dogs Have About Humans
‘1’
Blaming your farts on me….. not funny… not funny at all !!!

‘2’
Yelling at me for barking. I’M A FRIGGIN’ DOG

‘3’
Taking me for a walk, then not letting me check stuff out.
Exactly whose walk is this anyway?

‘4’
Any trick that involves balancing food on my nose. Stop it!

‘5’
Any haircut that involves bows or ribbons. Now you know why we chew your stuff
up when you’re not home.

‘6’
The sleight of hand, fake fetch throw. You fooled a dog! Whoooo Hoooooooo what
a proud moment for the top of the food chain.

‘7’
Taking me to the vet for ‘the big snip’, then acting surprised when I freak
out every time we go back!

‘8’
Getting upset when I sniff the crotches of your guests.
Sorry, but I haven’t quite mastered that handshake thing yet.

‘9’
Dog sweaters. Hello ??? Haven’t you noticed the fur?

’10’
How you act disgusted when I lick myself.
Look, we both know the truth. You’re just jealous.

Now lay off me on some of these things. We both know who’s boss here!
You don’t see me picking up your poop do you?

EVERY DOG HAS HIS DAY. A DOG ALWAYS OFFERS UNCONDITIONAL LOVE.

Well here’s the closing thought for this thread.

He came home today (hubby went without me this morning, I was horribly sick) and when he got here and I looked out the window at him, I thought he’d brought home the wrong dog. He’s been completely shaved. (Not even a lion’s mane…he is totally nekkid!) 0_o I am FURIOUS with my vet. We have two more months of winter left easily. She didn’t leave him enough fuzz to get by with for the rest of the snowy months. So most likely he’ll be living in the house until it comes back in. (Who knows how long that’ll be.)

But the sad news is, she took off 3 masses total. The one in his ear, one just above the front left leg where it connects to the body (almost the armpit, but not quite) and one more off his face on the lower left jaw. The one above the leg was large enough she had to close the wound with a staple. This does not bode well. Since I didn’t want to pay another $200 for tumor analysis (he’s really too old for chemo or radio and I just know I don’t want to subject him to it) we have no way of knowing how virulent this disease is or how far it’s spread in his body. But I can probably safely assume he has cancer (most of our pets have died from one form or other) and we just need to enjoy whatever time we have left with him.

He was so weak from all the drugs they pumped him with he can hardly stand even this evening. He gets upset if I walk away from him (I’m typing this as he’s sleeping again) and he’s really chugging the water (he’s terribly constipated from all the meds I guess). We bought him a coat for taking him outdoors, but he’s going to freeze when things cool down again for another two months. ‘Daddy’ also got him a nice knuckle bone to chew on (probably while thinking of the vet). ^_^

It hurts to see him so weak. I know most of it is due to the surgery but he is still twitching and having breathing trouble still and I guess some inner voice is telling me it’s more than just the last 48 hours affecting him.

K&K, I’ve been wondering if the ear thing hadn’t gone to his brain. He’s been having trouble for a long time. I guess I should be glad that I didn’t lose him at the vet…in that tiny cage-alone…that would’ve been unforgivable.

Thank you all so much for all your wonderful prayers and good thoughts. I am just so glad to have him home, I don’t even care what it took, really. But I do feel for him because his embarrassment and discomfort are palpable. I think he was afraid I’d left him and didn’t love him anymore. The poor thing.

Thanks again everyone. Really. Without you all to discuss this with, I’d seriously go mad.

Hogeeze, I’m sorry guys. Didn’t mean to scare everyone, no, I just wanted to put his piccy up for awhile. My son foudn the lyrics to the Green Day song and just this part has rung so true of late. He is a real Shadow and he sticks with me during our walks here and it’s so wonderful to still have him to spend time with. His fur is even already starting to grow back in! (Hubby got ‘doggie wipes’ to start cleaning him with, he’s already getting a little stinky!)

I know this is a bunny forum, but I so appreciate all the kindness and good thoughts coming our way from all of you during this time. Rest assured, because Jennifer has designated the section of the forum for this purpose, that should Shadow take the path to the Rainbow Bridge, I will be sure to set a post up in the Support Forum to let you all know. I have actually already written a poem to place there (did it the night he went in to the dr.-first thing I’ve written in years) and it will be part of that post. But hopefully, not for a long time! ^_^

He’s a good strong boy. Since it’s cooled down here again (between -10 to 15 above lately) he’s seemed a little creaky,b ut when we gave him some Metacam the other day it seemed to make him worse. So he really does much better without meds. *nods*

I think the hardest thing now is to see how unsteady his legs can be. This morning while walking him he went down on his forelegs this tiem and smacked his chin on the icy road. >.< Jeez, that's got to hurt!

Picks his butt right up though and walks on. What a trooper! *sniffle*

And we could see bunny tracks in the snow outside! ^_^