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Forum HOUSE RABBIT Q & A Feeling frustrated and guilty

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    • fredalina
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        In January i took in a bun that was being kept as a “mascot” for a boarding kennel for dogs and cats.  First she had been passed from employee to employee, then the owners suggested they keep her there.  Believe it or not she didn’t have a problem with the dogs going in and out, but when her hay mess became too much for the owner, she was placed (in a NIC condo, mind you, NOT a sturdy outdoor hutch) on the covered but open sided back deck where the small to medium sized pampered dogs had access via dog door to run in and out and bark/harrass her through her cage.  A particular pair were jumping all over the cage and nearly pulling it down, so i took her in as a foster after the local rabbit rescue promised to help me place her. 

        The rescue then promptly fell off the face of the earth and stopped returning calls or emails.  Meanwhile my husband is badly allergic to the rabbit.  We’ve tried different hays (i appear to be allergic to timothy but am okay with orchard grass hay, meanwhile he is allergic to the rabbit/fur/saliva itself and not the hay).  So we put Checkers in our guest room where she didn’t get enough socialization or attention but was healthy and relatively happy and safe.

        i found her a home with someone who has had rabbits before and i expected to know how to care for one, and went about cleaning up the guestroom so that my husband can go in there again.  We are nearly through with the process of becoming foster parents (for humans) and expect that call any moment.  Unfortunately, the adopter of the rabbit got bitten (probably because she tried to clean the cage with the bunny in it – mistake!) and wouldn’t keep her anymore so i had to take her back.

        The guest room/former rabbit room is soon to become our foster child’s room, and my husband will obviously have to be able to go in that room, so i have now set up an area for Checkers in the finished bonus room, which is where the dog crates are.  We have 2 dogs that don’t get along, so we rotate them and one dog is always crated and one is always loose.  We also have a third dog who is typically not crated.  i have arranged the NIC condo to have some privacy from the dog crates by placing a dresser along the back of it and using some hard board on one wall, but i don’t want to enclose it completely for air flow and also heat reasons.  Thankfully summer has passed but the bonus room, while finished and vented, does stay warm all of the time, probably approaching or even exceeding 80F!

        The condo is 4 stories (5 shelves total) with things to do on each level, with an enclosed run outside the condo about 3′ x 5′ with her litter box, etc.  i’ve given her an igloo and a cat tunnel house for hiding if she does feel stressed from the dogs.  i’ve got bottles frozen that i can exchange 3 times a day, and fans in the room, but i’m not sure what else to do to help the poor rabbit.  So far she doesn’t seem too stressed, in fact she seems happy to be “home”.

        Can you give me any other ideas to make this a better layout as far as the dogs, socialization, and heat are concerned?  My husband’s allergies make it pretty much impossible to put her in any other room in the house, and i don’t want to put her outside.

        Oh, i did start using Allerpet-C this time.  i heard before that it wasn’t very useful but i figure it can’t hurt, right?


      • Kokaneeandkahlua
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          WOW

          First-Welcome to Binkybunny! And Second but more important -Thanks for saving this bunny when the rescue and the new home did not turn out at all!! That’s very big hearted of you!!

          I wouldn’t put her outside, it’s best that she’s inside. The frozen bottles and fan are perfect for her. It actually sounds like you’ve got her settled in nicely I’m not even sure what to advise you on!!


        • bunnytowne
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            could one of those hepa filters help him out?  Put it in buns room. 

            Hubby tries to pull that I am allergic to cotton on me but I know in his case it is pollen. HE is so stubborn he won’t talk meds to feel better too. agh. HE is sooo stubborn. I am not saying your hubby is not allergic just commenting on mine.  So please dont’ take it the wrong way.

            Has he taken meds to help the symptoms?  Yeah allergies can be sooo miserable.


          • Scarlet_Rose
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              Hi, my word it sounds like you’ve been through a lot and so has the little girl too.  Please do not put her outside, we’ll do our best to help you.  Since she is in a room away from your husband, that is a good start.  I also would suggest an air purifier to put in the hallway.  Some have found that a Roomba really helps because it vacuums up the hay on the floor.

              As far as socialization goes, do you have time to spend with her?  The ideal socialization for a single bunny is either a mate or time with the human.  I am wondering that if you do psend some time with her, if your husband won’t have symptoms from the bunny and hay on your clothes?  If that is the case, extra precaution like having a change of non-bunny clothes when you are done.  From the sound of this is just a temporary solution to things and it really would be best to adopt her out or find a rabbit rescue to take her in.  Perhaps if you gave us your city and/or state we can help locate some place to take her.


            • fredalina
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                Thanks to all who’ve responded. It seems there were forum issues yesterday so i wasn’t able to respond.

                i am spending about 1/2 hour with her each evening now, perhaps a bit more. i can’t spare any more time as i have a full-time job, other pets, a husband who can’t spend time with her, and various other hobbies and interests and projects. When the foster child comes, i could have very little time to spend with her . This as well as the heat are the primary reasons i worry about Checkers’ well-being in my home, as well as the stress from the dogs. Thankfully my husband can handle the amount of dander and hair that i bring out of the room with me, but he can’t spend much time n the room where she is. i am vacuuming every day and careful with the litter box (putting it in a bag before carrying it outside to clean, not taking it back until the dust has settled so to speak), but we can’t afford an air purifier or a Roomba just for the bunny right now.

                i wouldn’t put Checkers outside. i had a bunny as a child that my mother wouldn’t allow in or even near the home. i wanted to put her in the garage or at least under the deck next to the house for some shelter, but she wouldn’t allow it due to the smell she would supposedly have (but didn’t). i have no idea why i’m an animal lover as both my parents hate them, but anyway… My poor childhood bun froze to death in the winter and i’ve never forgiven myself. My selfishness in wanting a rabbit even though i couldn’t provide a good home caused her to die. i did do a very good job with food, water, and attention, but it was not enough. This causes me grief now as i know Checkers isn’t in the best situation but at least i’m not doing it for my own selfishness but rather because she would have died otherwise. i was just stating my options, as pathetic as they are.

                So far Checkers does not seem very stressed and in fact seems happy. She has areas of her condo and run that are protected from view from the dogs, but she doesn’t spend time there. Instead she likes to lie on the top shelf where she’s clearly visible, but she doesn’t watch them or seem stressed about them, so that’s a good sign i think. Thankfully she’s been introduced to them before in a slow and gentle way, so they’re not totally new to her.

                i think i did a good job on her condo as she is pretty active and playful. Yay! And she’s loving the frozen grapes and frozen water bottles.


              • fredalina
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                  P.S.  My sweetie is not on any allergy meds except for the occasional Claritin or Zyrtec when things get very bad.  i don’t want to make him suffer with meds and their side effects (or the allergies themselves if i can help it, for that matter) just so i can have a rabbit.  He really is wonderful and makes so many sacrifices for me and i just hate forcing another on him.

                  P.P.S.  i made a video of Checkers for Petfinder today.  See what you think of her, her body language, her living conditions, etc, if you’d like.  Thanks!

                  http://s117.photobucket.com/albums/o61/fredalina/?action=view&current=Checkers_0001.flv


                • Beka27
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                    she’s beautiful! she reminds me of my mini rex! she certainly seems to have a palace, my word. it’s a shame that your hubby is allergic, but i understand you have a way full plate right now. and Kudos for you for taking in a foster child, i think that’s awesome!

                    the set-up looks awesome. i really hope you can find a good home for her. do you have any other rescues near you that you can piggy-back on? she gets listed as part of their rescue, but you’re the “foster” mom so adopters would go thru you. i’m very weary of the craigslist ads just b/c you don’t know what kind of family they’re going to.


                  • Kokaneeandkahlua
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                      I’m sorry to hear about your first bun, that’s very sad.

                      Your set up looks great and she looks super spoiled I think you’re doing a great job!


                    • fredalina
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                        Thank you. i was only 9 when i had the first bunny and 10 when i lost her, but it still affects me very much. i know the current situation isn’t ideal in the least, but i am hopeful that it will be good enough until an ideal home is found, without negatively impacting my family, either.

                        Yesterday i built Checkers a little air conditioner out of a cooler (filled with frozen blue ice, frozen water bottles, etc), a computer fan with adapter, and a toilet paper core. It blows into another box in her favorite spot, with a ceramic tile floor. i haven’t seen her use it yet, but if she decides to accept it, it should keep her nice and cool, at least until the frozen things melt . We plan to change them out 2-3 times a day.


                      • skunklionshow
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                          I understand your childhood guilt.  I will share mine, to help alleviate my own guilt & share w/ yours.  We had 3 rabbits when I was a kid.  The petstore said they were 2 girls, but alas a boy & girl and she had babies.  She couldn’t care for the babies, so we raised them.  Out of about 10 babies only 1 survived the bottle feeding and incubator (I worry that we over-heated them).  He was fine being w/ our pet dogs.  He seemed to think he was a dog.  Everything was fine until he pooped and pee’ed everywhere.  Then they all had to move into cages.  We didn’t know about spay/neutering…so they all were kept in separate cages.  They lived in 3 little cages in our garage.  They had heat…but the original male did die early on (likely from the cold)…the baby that we loved so much lived about 3 yrs in the garage.  Probably wondering why we left him in a small cage away from all the people he loved.  Cottontail lived the longest about 5 years.  She died of a huge mammary mass.  They all had occasional romps in the yard during the summers, but never had house rabbit status.  I’m crying now so I must stop. 

                          I am trying to be a good bunny mama to alleviate this guilt.  I believe you are doing the same.  I agree that Checker’s set up is very good and he appears happy.  Sometimes you gotta do the best you can w/ what you got.  Compared to the kennel situation…Checker’s feels that they are living the Taj Mahal/ Dubai primo- lifestyle.  It sounds like you are still being active w/ finding him a new home, so it’s likely a temporary situation.  Please give us your city/ state so that the wise bunny folks can give you some rabbit assistance.

                          You’re an Angel!  Anyone that takes in foster children has to be.  I work in behavioral health and unfortunately see the more negative side of the foster system.  So take care…it’s likely that your new foster child w/ develop a bond w/ the foster rabbit.  I use the nasal spray allergy meds, prescription ones, and have found them to be the best and w/o any sides effects, except the occasional tender nose from too much spray.


                        • fredalina
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                            i live in Nashville, TN.

                            i’m hopeful that with Checkers now being listed by my dog rescue friend and by the rabbit rescue that she’ll get some good home possibilities, but i’ve found it’s very difficult to find a good home . i would have much preferred that she go into an experienced foster home where she can get everything she needs and we can get my family back to normal, but it appears that won’t happen so i just have to do the best i can. Hopefully the heat will get better soon, and perhaps when we have a foster child placed with us, they will enjoy spending time with Checkers and we can hang out in that room and i can supervise, so Checkers will have more companionship.

                            You guys have been really great. i appreciate all the help and just positive thoughts you’ve given me. i know the situation with Checkers is not ideal, but i truly am trying to make the best out of what i have available to me. i got a very negative comment on another rabbit forum and i’m afraid i did let it get to me. i really do want to make things as good as possible though, so if you have more constructive suggestions, let me have them. So far my husband is reporting only minimal allergic problems, so that’s very good. Of course the daily work to make that so (vacuuming daily, thoroughly cleaning the cage daily, brushing and Allerpet 2x weekly, putting the litterbox in a bag before taking it out to clean, getting a clean one ready first, etc etc) is pretty extensive, but if it’s what i need to do to keep Checkers alive and healthy and keep my husband happy and healthy, it’s what i’ll do .


                          • kralspace
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                              Been there, too.

                              I think you’re doing a great job with all you have going on, fredalina. I have a big bunny kharma debt to pay off, too. Years ago my young son wanted a rabbit and being swamped at the time with sick family members, 2 jobs and several other assorted pets I told him and his persistent dad that it was their responsibility if they got one.

                              Of course, the idea of a pet bunny 18 years ago was the backyard hutch, not nearly big enough for a big white rabbit they got from a breeder. They took the ‘usual’ care of him as was the custom back then, like livestock more than a pet. The poor thing didn’t last through the summer, despite frozen bottles, wet coverings and fans. It was one of the hottest summers on record here.

                              I came home very late one night from sitting at the hospital with my mom and found him dead of heatstroke most likely and i’ve never gotten over the guilt. I swore I’d never have another rabbit, the idea of such a creature living in a cage sickened me.

                              2 years ago when my son (now 19) wanted another rabbit, I said no for the longest time, until he started showing me the websites about housebunnies. Then we got the lovely Pringles and were hooked and we recently expanded to 6.

                              The saddest part has been learning so much about these wonderful animals and realizing just how horribly that first poor rabbit suffered so many years ago. I cry everytime I read a story about a neglected and abused bunny and wish someone could have rescued that poor soul from my family’s ignorance, but back then, in this small town, that was just the way they were raised.

                              Kathy


                            • Kokaneeandkahlua
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                                Please everyone {{ HUGS }} Do not feel guilty when you clearly couldn’t have known better (you’re own age and just the status of rabbits at the time) and now you do differently. Please know your bunnies forgive you!! I can just feel your guilt and I’m so sorry!! You shouldn’t feel that way *HUGS*


                              • Beka27
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                                  i think many of us have either had bad experiences with rabbits in the past or have known of rabbits who have suffered at the hands of others who meant well. i have my own sad story with my first bun, but i was able to correct many of my mistakes before he passed. we all learn something new everyday, that’s why sites like BB and HRS are so important for us to educate ourselves and others.

                                  hugs to everyone!


                                • kralspace
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                                    I know I do tend to spoil my current bunnies, but I also think they’re experts at taking advantage of my guilty feelings too! Pringles is really a manipularing diva!

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                                Forum HOUSE RABBIT Q & A Feeling frustrated and guilty