Dutch Deficit Syndrome
Dutch Deficit Syndrome
This syndrome, also known as the Napoleon Complex, often strikes rabbits of the
Dutch persuasion. Originally believed to be triggered by early exposure to
testosterone or estrogen, current neutering and spaying rates have not
influenced it’s occurrence.
Some speculate that the small ears coupled with the large inverted white
triangle on the forehead alters normal electrical patterns in the brain.
Primarily stimulating the anger center, as well as the boxing and lunging
centers of the brain. Glaring centers may also be affected. The percentage of
white on the face as well as the symmetry of said markings may predict the size
of the full-blown ego, and to what extent the individual will suffer from the
syndrome.
Symptoms include, but are not limited to:
Inability to realize own body size: Often presented by attacking others
regardless of weight or height.
Boxing syndrome: A unique manifestation, almost exclusive to DDS. The small
white forefeet will spontaneously spasm and jerk when the individual is angered.
If angered sufficiently, quick forward darts, known as lunging, may occur.
Motion Sensitivity DS individuals seems to have a hyper-awareness of motion.
This awareness is probably triggered by over stimulation of the paranoia center
of the brain, located directly in the center of the inverted triangle. Every
motion is interpreted as a potential attack or threat.
"Mine Mine Mine!" The individual views their entire environment, including areas
belonging to rivals, as their own. They take marking very seriously, and will
chase off all intruders, regardless of species. Bipeds seem to be especially
aggravating, as well as canines.
There is no known cure. Neutering and spaying has not resolved all cases. It
appears to be the only current treatment. Some have had limited success with
administering facial rubs several times a day, paying particular attention to
the inverted triangle. Occasionally, the administration of a gorgeous rabbit
woman will help alleviate symptoms. But that has only worked in 50% of the cases
tested.
Be aware that this syndrome usually goes undiagnosed. Often humans will falsely
comment how sweet and nice their Dutch rabbit is, because they cannot face the
stigma associated with having a rabbit with this particular mental disorder.
Others will postulate that Dutches do not have brain disorders, and are just as
likely to be as normal as any other rabbit. Often you will find that these same
people have never had Dutches, or harbor a secret Dutch fetish and are not
willing to "come out of the closet."
This had me cracking up, since it fits Ms. Hareiette to a T. Does it sound like anybunny you know? 😉
(p.s. the above is a humor, there is no actual syndrome)