Reply To: Did I mess up? How do you deal with the guilt?

[SuperNova]

Thank you, Bam. Logically I think I understand that we didn’t have many options and there’s no way to know if the outcome would have been any different, but of course my broken heart is telling me otherwise. I’m trying to take some comfort in the fact that she was at home with familiar smells, and her sister was with her and got to say goodbye.

You make an excellent point about loving and protecting our sweet little babies no matter what, I think that helps a bit. Turning 8 this year, I knew we were probably getting to the point where they could go at any moment, but I don’t think I could ever have truly been ready. Mischa was so outgoing and wanted to be in the middle of everything, so the loss of her presence is truly felt in our house.

Nova doesn’t appear to be obviously distressed, but I’m keeping an eye on her. I think she’s actually taken up Mischa’s night-time habit of dive-bombing me on the couch before bed. She has always been a little more independent/aloof, but for the past couple of days she’s sat for maybe an hour+ with me on the couch, playing with their blankets and letting me pet her. I’m grateful she’s still here to love on.