Bun loves my wife but hates me

[Ryan]

Pumpkin is a roughly 6-month old female mini Rex. We purchased her(maybe saved her?) from a petting zoo-style home when I took my wife to a festival about a week ago. We did our research on rabbit care, so I can venture a few guesses as to why pumpkin hates me, but really I’m here to ask about some damage control.

On her very first day, pumpkin managed to sneak out of the enclosure we had for her originally(not as bunny-proof as we thought!) and got into our bedroom and under our bed. I ended up being the one to have to coax her out, and ultimately I believe this is the reason she hates me; I did end up having to chase her after enticing her with treats didn’t work. I’m also trying one that has to move her whenever required(such as if I have to vaccuum the room she’s in). Now, every time she gets whiff of me, she goes hiding, unless there’s food in my hand and she can’t actually see me. On the flip side, she binkies around my wife, loves to play, and will even stand for treats from her.

Because she’s so skittish around me, and because I’m the one who has to do any uncomfortable actions with her, I worry she may never accept me. I know it’s only been a week and patience is key here, but with her attachment to my wife almost immediately, and her innate fear of me almost immediately, I’m concerned there may not be any chance for repair of this.

Is there anything I can do to bring my bunny around to enjoy my company like she enjoys my wife’s company? Cause at this rate I’ll have to completely avoid the two of them during play time and it breaks my heart to do that.

[jerseygirl]

Oh that’s a shame she’s reacting this way toward you. But it definitely is early days and the trust can be built. So when you have to move her out of a space, you have picked her up these times?

[Luna]

Don’t worry, Pumpkin doesn’t hate you, but you may be right when you say she has a “fear of you.” Moving her for safety and cleaning is unavoidable, so next time see if your wife can coax Pumpkin to follow her out of the room so that you can vaccuum, as opposed to you having to physically move her. Also, since Pumpkin runs and hides when she sees you, when she is in her cage spend as much time as you can just sitting next to the cage and talking to her. This will force her to be in your company, while still feeling a sense of security being in her cage. This way, she will learn that you are only the “enforcer” some of the time that she sees you, instead of every time. Hopefully that will help her feel less fearful, and given time, I’m sure she will be binkying all around you.

[Ryan]

Yes, in the few times I could not coax her out, I had to physically pick her up. I knew this was likely a mistake but given the circumstances I didn’t have much choice.

So basically it sounds like I need to spend more time with her in her cage, and convince my wife to help get her back in? She’s been nervous to do that because she doesn’t want to lose the trust she’s built, but given how much pumpkin seems to love her I’m sure she can actually convince her to put herself back in the cage as opposed to picking her up.

Speaking of, her cage is located in an area slightly different from where we let her roam(cage in the living room, roaming area is the kitchen for easy cleaning)

We want to try to keep it this way if possible, so what would be better? Physically moving her from kitchen to cage, or bring the cage into the kitchen, coax her in, and move the cage back? I don’t think we have a way of making a path for her from kitchen to cage though I think I can some up with something if that’s even easier. Buns don’t like to lose their sense of freedom right?

Thank you so much for the suggestions!

[Luna]

For the travels to the kitchen, I would try leading her with a treat from the cage to the kitchen. How far is it? (20-30ft?) Luna hates being picked up, so if I need her to move (ie. from the hallway to her room), I use the “scoot” method. I bend down and put my hands close together palms up and lightly touch her butt/back of her legs, and she will take a couple hops in the direction she is facing.

[Katie]

Do you interact with pumpkin with your wife present? This may be a stretch, but maybe your wife could convince her. If you and your wife plat at the same time, interacting with her and each other pumpkin could see that someone that she trusts trusts you.

If that doesn’t work just be patient. MY bunny didn’t truly trust me until he lived with me for a year. It took giving treats and pets and a lot of sitting still while talking to him. Rabbits are prey animals and have to be very sure that you won’t decide to eat them randomly

[Juicy]

Only a week! It took longer than that for my bunny to even leave the room her cage was in. Earning bunny trust/love is an exercise in patience. Sounds like your wife is a natural; she probably talks to Pumpkin and handles him the way you’re supposed to etc. You can have her show you how a bunny likes to be handled, or do the research. Ok, so you’re not a pro, that take a lot of time and learning about each other. But Pumpkin does NOT hate you! Bunnies are really loving creatures. They do have tempers though, and again time is on your side here. Just keep feeding her and being nice to her and she’ll come around.

You can’t help moving her sometimes, and it sucks to be bad cop but I do what Luna does with the (gentle!) taps to the bunny’s butt and she still gets annoyed, but it’s much better than what you’re dealing with now. Plus, when it comes to cleaning, emergencies, or property protection, I’m the boss and she gets that. But yeah, picking her up has led to excruciating weeks of bunny disapproval/anger.

I’ve had to teach my male friends and fiance, who are all dog people, to be more bunny-appropriate. Here is what I tell them:
– Get low spend more time on the floor

– Speak more quietly/gently. Take a sec to listen to yourself. If you’re attempting baby talk but are basically screaming it, just chill. Their ears are very sensitive!

– Let the bunny come to you, and when it does, don’t smother it with dog-like petting. Just give a little back.

Sorry, I don’t mean to make assumptions about you, and you may very well already do this. Just a few things that have worked for my people.

[DorothyTheMiniSatinBun]

To avoid this exact thing, my boyfriend and I share duties in good cop bad cop, so that our bun associates “feelings” with our actions, rather than the person performing the action. It also helps to just read your bunny’s body language and don’t force if you can avoid it, let her come to you as much as you can or give her a light pat on the behind or back legs so she gets the idea that she needs to move, that works really well for us… One week is not a lot of time, and my guy and I could not get her comfortable with being handled and picked up until just now, and we have had her for 3 months. Keep faith and be patient! She will definitely learn to trust you!

[LBJ10]

Huh, funny, both of my boys hate me but think my husband is an OK dude. :p

Seriously though, I don’t think she hates you necessarily. I think she is just wary because you have “done” things to her. Also, she hasn’t been with you for very long. Let her settle and take turns being the meanie. I’m sure she will come around eventually.

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