Hi RosieSatellie,
I am so sorry to hear that you’re having a tough time. I know how you feel because I am approx. on day 30 of bonding my boy to a sweet little girl who sounds like Rosie. We share a lot of similarities in our situations. I have also had Thor for just over a year (he is just under 2 years and is 6lbs), and I recently adopted my girl (who is going to be renamed) is a 2lb white lionhead. This is also my first bonding experience.
Thor loves giving me kisses, is bossy, grunts for food and attention & shakes his head when he gets an attitude. I spend time with him everyday and like you, I know what makes my rabbit tick. My girl is gentle, shy & obliging but will give a little stomp if she is scared or disagrees with anything Thor does. I initially had both buns separated by two adjoining 4×4 expens in Thor’s room.
1) I started bonding them on the bathroom floor, but moved it to the bathtub (neutral territory) after Thor tried to attack my girl. I slowly increased bathtub sessions from 30 mins to 1 hour (they say to start with 15ins but I was overzealous). I kept a shoe, hay, and vanilla essence handy (on recommendation from rabbit peeps), and did often intervene with a shoe to protect my girl. It worked because Thor calmed down and started to accept her, and she eventually started to groom him once she realized that she couldn’t be top rabbit (at several points, I thought no one was going to submit!).
2) Thor would also try to attack my girl through the cage bars (they were separated by weights), so I surrounded my girl’s ex-pen with large flat cardboard boxes from Home Depot to hide her from Thor’s view to reduce jealousy (I just went on a hunch because Thor got agitated when I let her out or paid her attention). It worked because she was protected when I let him out and he was less annoyed. I cage swapped the rabbits later on and put blankets with the other rabbits scent in their cages but all this did was make Thor angry. I took them to bond in a different location and they got along in that space. Thor seemed to be accepting her and they ate face to face through the bars, no protecting his bowl or anything. They were somewhat in sync.
3) At day 11 of bonding, I thought all would be safe to try them together in his room, and on recommendation, I let them out. Well, all hell broke loose and he wouldn’t stop chasing and trying to attack her. She was freaked out and did not attack him back. I stopped him from chasing her but only moved them to the bathtub (neutral territory) when he calmed his bunny butt down. Amazingly, it was like the fight never happened. She groomed him and he was sorta nice to her. So, distraught, I reached out to other members in the rabbit community. I was like, “What did I do wrong?!”.
4) The advice I got was to continue bathtub bonding till both could be trusted for 24 hours and if they could, to keep them overnight in this neutral territory. Then, leave them in neutral territory for 2 weeks straight, to solidify the bond. So, at day 21 I moved the bonding to an ex-pen in the living room (neutral territory) and would put them back into their own cages during unsupervised times (work, college). At day 25 & 26, I camped out next to them overnight to make sure Thor didn’t attack my girl. This approach worked for me, and I slowly incorporated his stuff into the expen in neutral territory (haybox, cottage) when I noticed Thor could share his food bowl and litterbox with her. I did try them out once during this period, in semi-neutral territory (the kitchen), and they did well together.
The real test will be to see if he is territorial at the end of this process, when I will move them back into his room for round 2 of the permanent living situation. I think neutral territory and patience has been the greatest advice so far. I had to remind myself that my world wouldn’t end if the previous bonding sessions didn’t seem fruitful. I hope that some of this might be encouraging that even if it seems bad, it may just work out. Also, I would get in contact with your local rabbits rescue organization and ask for help. I found people willing to offer their time and expertise, and they helped me stay positive during this process.
Best of luck, and I hope I posted this in the right place!