Personality or loneliness?

[manic_muncher]

Not sure if this should be in behavior or here, please relocate if it should go somewhere else. Thanks!

Okay!  I’m not quite sure what to make of Bumpy.  He runs and plays on occasion, binkies, flops, stretches out happily.  He follows my dogs around sometimes.  But I have found that a lot of times he just kinda… sits there.  In his pen (door wide open for hours and hours and HOURS), just doing nothing but sitting and half-dozing, along with the occasional self-grooming.  Maybe I’m expecting too much?  Maybe he’s just laid back, aloof, or lazy?  I just am not sure.

Oh he’s my BEST friend if I have treats, or when it’s time to fill his pellet ball, and goes NUTS when I’m showing up with a plate of greens.  Occasionally he’ll run up to the pen door when it is closed (as I walk by).  He’ll let me stroke his forehead, but generally doesn’t want pets.  I’ve tried several brushes and combs, none of which has given any success in removing extra hair, and since he casually hops out of reach when I try to pet him, grooming is very VERY minimal around here, even though I KNOW he would benefit from it.  But it seems he’d rather just be left alone.

When the dogs walk by, sometimes it peaks his interest, sometimes he stops and sniffs their tails when they are sleeping, or periscope and lean against their backs with his paws.  But one of my dogs is socially handicapped and the other one is jealous of him, so they don’t interact with him hardly at all.  I’m home almost always, but Bumpy could care less it seems.  I wonder if he’d be happier with a friend more like himself?  I was hoping he’d warm up to us more and choose to come around us more, but he rarely comes near me.  There are rare moments of hopping into the chair next to me to lick the cushion, but whenever I try to pet him, he moves out of reach or hops down completely. 

Do you guys think he could be lonely for bunny companionship?  I mean even if he hasn’t had it, perhaps it’s a feeling that he’s missing something but doesn’t know what?  I just want to make sure he’s happy.  He HAS come around to us a lot more than before, and he’s only been here 6 months (3 months since neutered).  I’d just hate to think he’d be happier if he had another bun to lounge around with too.

[Bam]

It seems like your bun is rather happy. Not all bunnies are very active during the day. My Bam is like that. I tried to bond him with my other male neutered bunny, but it turned out Bam was the Prince of Darkness when it came to bonding.

He didn’t signal any interest in being pet or even touched for his whole first year with me. Now he likes to cuddle in the evenings. He voluntarily sits in my mother’s lap when she’s here or Bam is staying with her. That makes my dog very jeallous.

[Sarita]

Sounds like a normal rabbit to me :~) I think he’s just fine.

It does belong in Behavior so I will go ahead and move this.

[manic_muncher]

Thanks a bunch for the reassurance. Hopefully as more time goes by he’ll warm up even more. If not, that’s fine too. My hubby wants another rabbit, but I’d rather Bumpy be close to us, so I hesitate about bringing another distraction that he’d prefer over us in the long run. If he stays aloof, that’s fine too. I don’t mind his aloofness, as long as he’s happy.

[Elrohwen]

Sounds normal 🙂 Mine sleep all day, so even if the pen is open they probably won’t come out. My male is particularly laid back and content to just sit around or lounge. Lots of bunnies are just aloof by nature and are never going to be the snuggly outgoing type. I have one of each personality, which is a nice mix.

[manic_muncher]

Elrohwen, are your two buns bonded as well? As I mentioned, the hubby wants a flemish, I wouldn’t mind a 2nd one either. I realize it’s personality that ultimately is the deciding factor on whether they’d be more outgoing and friendly towards people, and have heard several people talk about how much their flems love their attention and seek it out. I just wonder if given a choice to be with their bonded buddy, would they ultimately choose their bonded friend over us.

Bumpy’s “awake” schedule is all over the map. I would say -most- of the time during the hours of 11am and 4pm he tends to sleep. But that’s not set in stone. And since I am awake sometimes for days at a time, Bumpy’s activity varies a lot. Sometimes he’s running around from 3am til 11am. Sometimes from 6am to 9am, then 4pm to 7pm. He just doesn’t have a set schedule (which is frustrating!). He is fed his pellets and greens at the same time everyday, it’s just his sleeping/waking schedule that is so out of whack.

I’m getting used to not having “control” over things, and he has definitely helped with that! I am the type of person that likes to plan things, EVERYTHING. When to make coffee, when to meet a friend (don’t just stop by!), I write notes for every tiny detail of the most mundane things. Bumpy not following a true schedule of his own really can throw me and can be pretty frustrating, since I have no control over it. LOL. When it’s all said and done, I love him no matter what. I just would really like to know what makes him tick! (other than food! haha)

Edit to add:  I also worry that MY schedule interrupts his sleeping schedule and could possibly harm him in some way.  I know ferrets are that way.

[rayray]

Don’t know if this helps, but after Ziggy got fixed he was very unsocial. He’s come around a bit more now. During the day he doesn’t want anything to do with me or anyone/thing else. He just likes to chill out in his cardboard tunnel or flop in his litter box. In the evenings he’s too busy working on shredding an old box I have in my closet. I do get the odd acknowledgement, but it usually because he thinks I have a treat for him. And just recently he’s been coming to me for head rubs. 1st time ever!
So don’t feel bad. A lot of us are in the same boat.
OH and I’ve only had Ziggy since Aug 2013.

[manic_muncher]

Thank you too, rayray. I also got Bumpy in August of last year. Maybe it’s just my impatience showing it’s ugly head once again! He has come up beside me and licked my leg out of the blue, just recently too. I guess I just have to take it as it goes!

Thanks guys!! <3

[rayray]

I’m just letting him take the lead. He seems to take 2 steps forward then 1 step back. It’s a slow process but he’s so cute it’s worth it. Lol

[Smudge]

You sound like a person who is always creating, moving, thinking, going (not to assume anything, I totally could be wrong with that estimation) I wonder if maybe it’s just his response to higher energy. I know this might sound ridiculous but what if you did meditation or yoga or went for a walk, whatever burns the most energy and leaves you feeling calm, and then just lay on your floor near Bumpy. Just lay there and relax, check in with all your different muscles, make sure your whole body is completely and totally relaxed, and see if Bumpy comes up to check you out more or get attention.

I am that type of person a lot of the time and it can make animals more uncomfortable and therefore harder to get to bond with you. At least that’s what I found and, after only a year of practicing I managed to control my energy around all of the horses I lived with including mine, and they all stopped being just slightly nervous, enough on edge to be bratty or standoffish or any number of less than pleasant personality traits.

Anyway, thats how I bond with Smudge a lot. He likes it when I just flop down on the floor and let him jump all over me or check me out. Sometimes he will stop and let me pet him, other times he moves on by and I move on to something else.

[manic_muncher]

Smudge, that depends on my mood! lol If I am in the midst of a manic episode… then yea, I probably am more like a tornado. My husband on the other hand is the exact opposite. A friend once said to him, “if that chair caught on fire, you wouldn’t jump up, you’d just sit down further to smother the flames.” He is the banana giver in the house, and Bumpy promptly hops onto his lap for those. He has 4 or 5 times hopped up without banana-involvement, but immediately hopped back down. Whether he’s looking for treats, or the calm manner of my husband, who knows?

When I sit on the floor with him, sometimes he’ll come sniff me and sit nearby, but you really might have something there with the high energy output on my end!

[Kbana]

Interesting thought about the energy. Though I am the laziest person I know and Albert doesn’t want much to do with me these days. LOL wonder what that means?! haha

[Deleted User]

I just read your post and without reading any of the replies (yet – I will, love it! ha hah), I just had to say you just described Henry, me and my family, dogs included – and yet I reckon Henry is the happiest (spoiltest) bun ever and your Bumpy is exactly the same! If you want another bun, go for it. But if not – don’t! Your Bumpy is just being super comfy/ignorant in your, sorry ‘his’ home and that to me is the biggest indication that HE is HAPPY!!!!!! Cheers Manic! (now, to go back and read the replies…..) ha ha hah….

Edit/Add – (just read the replies). Oh Manic, I am the same – nothing for me to be doing the housework at 11 at night when everyone is in bed. I never give a second thought to how this impacts on Henry – I just do my thing whatever whenever, and he is free to do the same. Works for me! I have OCD (and god knows what else, ha haha) and Henry has made the biggest improvement in me! (But I still have to wash my hands after patting him), LOL! Whatever works for you – go for it!

[Bam]

As for energy, I’ve recently begun doing mindfulness-excercises lying on the sofa, and Bam finds it very nice to go for a little walk on me when I’m lying there all still. The same thing happened when my mother had acupuncture, Bam decided it was an excellent opportunity to do a little feet-on research of his immobilized grand-mother. Just lying still may attract your bunny, it seems there’s a constant “conflict” inside them between curiosity and caution/fearfulness.

Just take care if you’re using headphones, bunnies love to cut thin electrical cords.

I always read in bed before going to sleep at night, and that’s when Yohio comes for extended cuddling-sessions. It’s really nice, it makes me sleep better.

[caudex]

Just another experiment to try– on a weekend or day you can afford it, stay up later than you normally do and let him out. Mine are active in the early morning, and will beebop around for 10 minutes or so if I let them out in the evening, but if I’m being an insomniac and let them out at 11pm, or midnight… woo boy. The beasts are free. Zooming and binkying and jumping over each other and on me and sailing through the air like wild things. It’s hilarious, and I feel bad that 4am getups aren’t very conducive to that, cos they are like different animals. Maybe he’s a night owl?

[manic_muncher]

bam: I try to sit quietly on the floor near his pen sometimes. But I have to admit, it’s REALLY hard. 15-20min is torture. haha Yes, must work on the sitting still a bit longer.

caudex: Oh he’s definitely a night owl! So are we, so I get to see his antics most of the time. Last night, however, I actually went to bed around 11pm (right now it’s officially today at 6:34am) and he’s sleeping in his favorite spot in his pen. Every time I got up during the night (midnight, 1:30am, 3am, 5am, 6am), he was still in that spot. So if I am figuring his pattern out correctly, he’ll start moving around about 8am and will run around until about 11:30ish, then sleep until 4pm, or when the plate of greens comes out! LOL

[Smudge]

Posted By manic_muncher on 02/13/2014 07:26 PM

Smudge, that depends on my mood! lol If I am in the midst of a manic episode… then yea, I probably am more like a tornado. My husband on the other hand is the exact opposite. A friend once said to him, “if that chair caught on fire, you wouldn’t jump up, you’d just sit down further to smother the flames.” He is the banana giver in the house, and Bumpy promptly hops onto his lap for those. He has 4 or 5 times hopped up without banana-involvement, but immediately hopped back down. Whether he’s looking for treats, or the calm manner of my husband, who knows?

When I sit on the floor with him, sometimes he’ll come sniff me and sit nearby, but you really might have something there with the high energy output on my end!

I think it’s the lying down in full relaxation pose too that is important. If you are lying on your back, in animal world you are allowing for the most important parts of your body to be unprotected and you are allowing the rabbit to be “bigger” than you which can also create that safety. Sitting, you are still bigger than him and able to protect your self. 

If your husband always projects that kind of energy than he would have an easier time than most. I know my dad is one of the calmest people in the world and, when I was living with them, getting my feet back under me during a divorce, he would ignore my mom or me to trot around happily behind my dad who is NOT an animal person. He hardly gives Cy pats, but still the dog thinks he is the best thing in the world.

[Bam]

I tried doing another mindfulness-exercise just now, and sure enough, Bam was on my chest before I knew it. Absolutely no treats in the picture. He started to lick my face and I just lay there listening to my recording, thinking he’d soon tire when he got no response. But Bam was in his thorough mode. First he licked my face until he was happy with the result, then, instead of hopping down, he started licking my hand. This went on for a full 7 minutes (the duration of the mindfulness-track).

It was a mindfulness exercise of a slightly different kind than what I’d had in mind, but still, there is sth mindful about getting a facial from a darling little bunny =)

[manic_muncher]

omg what would I do?!? I am still a bit manic right now, so mind is racing about from subject to subject. Laying down on my back staring at the ceiling with all these things bouncing around in my head… just thinking about that makes me twitch. I’ll try anything though! Right now he seems to have put himself to bed, so not sure it would inspire him to come visit me when he’s in sleepy-mode. He just finished running up and down the hallway with the dogs and binkying around. I guess I should wait til the next time he is out and about?

[rayray]

Read a book or magazine. That way you are sitting still & focused on something.

[Smudge]

Posted By bam on 02/14/2014 07:24 AM

I tried doing another mindfulness-exercise just now, and sure enough, Bam was on my chest before I knew it. Absolutely no treats in the picture. He started to lick my face and I just lay there listening to my recording, thinking he’d soon tire when he got no response. But Bam was in his thorough mode. First he licked my face until he was happy with the result, then, instead of hopping down, he started licking my hand. This went on for a full 7 minutes (the duration of the mindfulness-track).

It was a mindfulness exercise of a slightly different kind than what I’d had in mind, but still, there is sth mindful about getting a facial from a darling little bunny =)

That’s so cool! I have not yet received any type of kisses…. a little jealous 

[Ellis's Mom]

I’m also a doer/planner type person who doesn’t like just sitting and being quiet. I always feel like there’s something I should be taking care of somewhere. Ellis is breaking me of that obsession. He’s pretty aloof and self-sufficient, so if you want to play or cuddle, it has to be on his terms. When he first joined our family, I had to keep reminding myself that rabbits are “prey animals” and do what they can to not be noticed. When I got the mindset of being as non-threatening as possible, e.g. lying on the floor quietly, just being patient and watching him, he started to get more comfortable with me. Now my daughter and husband are taking the time to let him get use to them and it’s starting to work for them too.

To give him time, I would sit with my cellphone and read email, or with my kindle and read, but on the floor, next to his cage. Eventually he’d get curious and come to see what I was doing. Now he trusts me pretty well, although he’s not a cuddle-bunny yet. He still scratches when I’m holding him and he wants to get down, but he’s letting me hold him and pet him for longer periods. I think we’re up to about 20 minutes now on a good day. And he is starting to jump up on the chair when he sees me online for too long, or knitting on big projects (little ones don’t interest him – not big enough to nest in ).

So, my advice (with all of 8 months’ experience ) is patience, with yourself and with the bun. It will be good for both of you.

[quirkygirlx]

I’m definitely a “do-er” as well and when I brought my lop into my apartment and started letting him free roam and such he really didn’t pay much attention to me… he spends alot of his day just hanging in his cage and only comes out to flop down by the door, play with my cat, or get treats

With him being my first house bunny, of course the crazy in me thought he was miserable and sad and hated me… yada yada.

But DON’T do what I did and think another bunny is the answer–I think that’s totally up to you if you’d like to try to introduce a friend into the picture. I tried to get my bunny a friend (solely to try to make him happier) and to say the least it did NOT work out–turns out he’s a very happy bunny where he’s at and he just got jealous and possessive with the new bunny… i tried for weeks, he had no interested in a relationship, so a solo bun he’ll stay

[MK]

I also find that sitting still on the floor is great for bonding with my buns. However, don’t sit like a rock! This makes the buns tense and nervous. Listen to the radio, or hum, or try doing a bunsafe craft.

[Author]

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