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Forum THE LOUNGE Social life- or lack thereof

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    • Dwarf Sparrow
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        I used to go blues dancing every Friday and Saturday night, and here I am on a Saturday night at 9:15pm, sitting on my kitchen floor with two rabbits. This is prime dancing time, mind you.

        And Liam just flopped next to me, which almost makes this post a moot point. <3

        But my point is, I’m having trouble drawing the line between giving them attention and being able to not feel guilty about going out to have a social life. The bf is in bed already because he has to be at work at 4am (ick), and has said he wouldn’t mind if I went dancing without him (we met at blues). They’re all “tucked in” for the night- fresh litter boxes, pellets, fresh water, veggies… and I find myself debating whether to go get ready for bed, or hang out with the rabbits for a bit longer- and talking myself out of going dancing. I’m a Grade A night person! I often “accidentally” stay up until 2am if I have nothing to do the next morning, and sometimes even when I DO have something to do the next morning!

        Merida (and now Liam) aren’t the only reason(s) we haven’t gone dancing/camping/road tripping/etc. in the last 12 months, but it has definitely been a factor. Does anyone else find themselves doing this? How do you draw the line between “the buns need attention every day” and “I need a life*”?


        *Life other than: all rabbits, all the time lol


      • JoyCounts
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          I see that you’re in the process of bonding your bunnies, and I’ll admit one of the biggest reasons I got my first bunny a friend was so I could leave her alone for awhile and not have to worry about her not getting attention. Once they’re buddies, you’ll have much less reason to feel guilty. :p


        • Zombie-Sue
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            No… not ever LOL. I can’t even imagine why anyone would worry about that.


          • BubblesJo
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              I mostly feel guilty if I go out for a long time, specially if it’s over dinner time. But since I have weekly work meetings after work hours and I usually don’t get home until 8:30-9 pm those nights, I’m getting used to not feeling guilty anymore.

              One idea I was adopted was having friends over more often. They all wanna meet or hang out with Chester, and I have plenty of social interaction while he does too


            • Beka27
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                Well, you do want to continue to do other things you enjoy, as well as things that you need to do!

                We all have other obligations in our lives, and other interests. The key is to balance it out!


              • calipa_st
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                  Well, the only time I think about that is if I have to be away for a long time…which is mondays and tuesdays when I work. or I suppose if I wanted a day trip away, I’d worry about feeding them mid day.

                  But, I have two kids. I’m used to no social life lol. Netflix dates with my man are mainly all we have time for. I only work 3 days a week, and have my kids 4 1/2 days a week, I’m also in school and my boyfriend’s work schedule is crazy because of the storms we’ve been having, trees are down all over and tons of snow… So yeah, you just balance life as it comes!


                • Zombie-Sue
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                    Am I the only one who is pretty sure my rabbits don’t even WANT me around? LOL


                  • LBJ10
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                      No, I’m pretty sure mine would be just fine without me. As long as the food kept magically reappearing, that is.


                    • Rufus
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                        I totally understand how you feel Dwarf Sparrow!

                        A few months ago I noticed that I was turning down going out after work all the time so that I could get home and check on Rufus. My normal work day had me out of the house for 11 hours and I just didn’t feel ok leaving him for longer than that. I didn’t consciously make the decision to stop going out much but one day I just noticed that I really had!

                        Right now I’m working on getting him into a really big crate/x-pen combo and setting him up so that I feel more confident leaving him for longer. I’m also hoping to work out an arrangement with my new housemates where they agree to look after him for a night or two so that I can go away more often for a weekend or something.


                      • justwildbeat
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                          I don’t normally make plans on the weekdays so I’m free to give mine more attention then. By the time the weekend rolls in I can stay out all day/night guilt free lol. There are days where aside from refilling water/food/hay I don’t spend any time with mine. However those are rare, and Yeti doesn’t hold it against me. It happens, so don’t feel guilty about taking some time for yourself.


                        • Kbana
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                            I know how you feel. Especially since Albert is in the basement which is not ideal. For example, I am home sick right now and can’t seem to make it off the couch to get downstairs to that couch. I just have no energy. My husband and I can’t even go on a quick vacation because we can’t find anyone to watch Albert. I could probably find a caring non-bunny-savvy friend to take him but it makes me nervous. We are the only people with a rabbit that I know. Plus, because he is in the basement, I am usually down there and my husband is upstairs with the dog. So we both see more of our animals than we do of each other! I’m hoping we’ll find a balance soon. I wish we could move Al up to the main living area but we just can’t risk it with our aggressive dog. He has really changed our whole way of living. Sometimes not for the better so at times we just have to realize that for a day he will be fine, just like the dog. Not every day is going to be ideal. So hard though because we just love our furry animal babies. I know there are no real answers in my post, but just wanted to let you know you are not alone.


                          • Sarita
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                              Don’t ever put your life on hold or not do something because you think your rabbit(s) aren’t getting enough attention. That won’t be very fulfilling in the end and you’ll regret it and maybe even resent it.


                            • Stickerbunny
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                                I think Stickers would be happier if I disappeared, she got to run the whole house and food just appeared. Powder would miss being pet, but neither of them really gets lonely without me I am sure, they have each other. So, don’t feel guilty at all leaving them alone. My bird on the other hand… he gets separation anxiety without me so I feel guilty leaving him all day. 😮 He’s in bed early though so I can do stuff at night and he’ll just sleep through it.


                              • manic_muncher
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                                  My husband and I are just shy of being hermits. Hmm well, most people would just call us hermits outright. I can count the people we aren’t opposed to being around on one hand, 2 of which are a married couple. I’ll even go as far to say that we actually like being around them. We see them maybe… once a month or two.

                                  I’m so pleased the bunny is a somewhat high maintenance pet, because I get to use my bunny as an excuse to avoid situations I just have no interest in attending! “Sorry, can’t come, the bunny…” love it love it!

                                  I do agree with Sarita’s post wholeheartedly though. I also believe just by you noticing the change in your “norm” and acknowledging it, you will find that balance.


                                • Dwarf Sparrow
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                                    JoyCounts- that’s the main reason I had been keeping an eye out for a second rabbit. I’m pretty sure Merida is bonded to me, and it just kills me when I’ve been hanging out with her and have to leave before she seems done getting pets or giving me kisses in return. Hopefully once I scrape her off onto Liam it won’t be as bad ;P
                                    BubblesJo, I WISH my friends were half as interested in my rabbits as yours sound. I’m always trying to entice them to see the buns, and they’re not overly excited about the idea haha.
                                    Kbana, I sometimes spend more time with the rabbits than my bf, too. Or if I bring them onto the couch for pets, I wind up cuddling them instead of him while we watch movies. I hope you’re able to figure out a way to balance with those two critters!
                                    Sarita- your comment made me think- I wonder if the extra sprinkle of guilt I get when I “ignore” Merida is excessive backlash for my first rabbits. It was the classic routine: young teenager (and even younger sister) get rabbits for easter, rabbits are kept outside in hutch (water bottles freeze in NY winters), young rabbits aren’t fixed and have a “surprise” litter, ignorant girl tries to breed rabbits herself (and fails, luckily), rabbits get hay and pellets and a *whole* carrot every night (e.e) and so on. Knowing what I know now, it kills me- none of the 4 lops I had made it past 3 or 4 years. Still working on filing that away as a “live and learn” experience. Some days I do better than others haha
                                    maniac_muncher, I actually used the rabbits as an excuse the other day when a coworker invited me out rock climbing (completely out of the blue, and in a this-seems-like-a-date sort of way) and then very abruptly changed track to “you should have dinner with me and my girlfriend!’ when he found out I had a boyfriend. “Ooh, sorry, not this weekend, I need to bond my rabbits…..” haha


                                  • Jessie1990
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                                      I go out and socialize at least every two weeks, which would be the case regardless of having my rabbits. One thing that I’m a bit frustrated/nervous about is going on vacations. I grew up with very little vacation and I have a huge desire to see new places and experience new things. I would like to take 1 or 2 short trips a year. I just don’t see that being possible with Moogle’s moving/separation anxiety. He can’t be away from Zach, specifically, and remain healthy on his own. He stops eating and has to be “talked into” eating the first few days of every trip I take him on. The one trip Zach and I took together, he was perfectly fine, so we are assuming Zach is the deciding factor in the situation.

                                      We are supposed to take a trip to Boston in April, and I am seriously considering backing out. I was very excited because I would meet several of my online gaming friends (we are not the stereotypical gamers, we do have lives outside of games ). Anyway, I can’t board him at a vet because the noise freaks him out. I don’t have rabbit savvy friends, so the only option would be to have my parents watch them. WELL, my parents rarely take their own pets to the vet when needed, and I find them to be highly irresponsible. They call me asking what they can do for their animals at home all the time… I tell them to try something for one day sometimes, but if it’s a real emergency and I tell them to go to the vet they usually do. They do, however, put it off, which you can’t do when a bunny goes into stasis…


                                    • manic_muncher
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                                        Jessie, in your shoes, I think I would speak with the vet technicians at your vet’s office. The ones that handle your buns and see if they would be interested in coming to your home once or twice a day. That way they’d kinda be watched not only by someone experienced, but also by someone who has the ability to fast-track them to your vet, and won’t have to be stressed by changing locations. Of course, still giving the detailed lists of instructions!


                                      • Elrohwen
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                                          I don’t really have this issue with my rabbits. I have a pair, which is nice, but first my has always been aloof and independent so he didn’t desire a lot of attention or affection. I will admit that I feel bad that they get less attention now that we have a dog (they can’t be in the same room together), but they don’t really mind. As long as they have their room to run around and the food appears, they’re good to go. I do admit that I have a hard time going out and doing things now that we have the dog. He requires and demands so much more time and attention than the bunnies, and I feel bad for being at work all day and then leaving him again in the evening.

                                          I think the key is to find a balance. You have to do the things you want to do, and you can’t spend all of your time worrying about your pets. Sometimes it’s just an adjustment when you get a new animal and have to figure out how to balance those things.


                                        • bunnytowne
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                                             I can relate Sparrow.  I always want to get back home to see about Cotton and give him his pettings.  HE comes for petting around 5 and 8-10 in there. 

                                            We go to store and to beach and stay gone til about 8 and Cotton eats at 5 his salad and I want to be there to get it for him.  I have been trying to stop and enjoy what hubby and I are doing.  Cotton will be ok.  I have been enjoying doing things with hubby we go to store then beach Since i been back from louisiana I have been not so guilty and enjoying myself 

                                            Cotton is really bonded with me.  He does not let anyone touch him but me.  Unless he goes to the vet.  People come over try to pet him he punches with his little feet n grunts at them  or runs from them.  He won’t even let hubby touch him.  HE won’t take food from anyone but me and hubby. 

                                            So I am learning to not be so anxious about getting home when we go places.  I want to get home cuz of Cotton AND because of my back.  Had 2 fusions years ago and does still hurt.  I think my back has a lot to do with wanting to get home too.

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                                        Forum THE LOUNGE Social life- or lack thereof