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BINKYBUNNY FORUMS

Forum BONDING New addition literally hates me

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    • quirkygirlx
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        I know I keep posting about this new rabbit but yet another issue has arisen…

        I’ve been having issues with the new bunny and my old guy humping nonstop for the last week since I’ve moved them in together and marking territory… nothing new and nothing has changed…

        BUT now I’m also putting two and two together that this new rabbit ABSOLUTELY hates me. I mean won’t even look at me, jumps up the second I walk into the room if he’s lying down, refuses to take food from my hand, and god FORBID I try to pet him–he runs away like I’m trying to kill him. If I pick him up he kicks and scratches the ever living crap out of me and I know that rabbits don’t really like being picked up, but he throws such a $*&! fit you’d think I was carrying him to his execution. 

        I’ve never hit him or yelled at him or ANYTHING of the like, but he won’t even leave the cage if I’m around–for example, I’m laying down with my laptop outside of their cage right now not even paying attention to them but the new guy REFUSES to leave the cage–meanwhile my guy goes back and forth between hopping all over me, jumping on my keyboard, and sleeping in his condo. I even tried to bribe him with carrots a few minutes ago and he looked at them like they were poison and ran away.

        I’m starting to think my rabbit isn’t the problem in this bonding catastrophe, it’s ME (or this environment). I can’t even get him to come near me for treats let alone anything else… I’m starting to feel really bad I mean he has absolutely no fear of my cat or anything, but he won’t come NEAR me. I don’t really see this changing… Should I rehome him? It’s not fair to him or me if he hates me.. He literally uses my rabbit and/or the cat as a shield and hides behind them shaking like a leaf.

        I spoke to the rescue I got him from, and they said he never used to be like this… they also they’ve had a situation before where they adopted out a really sweet friendly male bunny to a family and the family had another rabbit in the house (separate cages) and the new guy got SO VICIOUS with them–so they surrendered him back to the rescue and now he’s in an otherwise rabbit-free home and happy and friendly as all hell… I’d hate to take away from his quality of life by making him live here if he’s this unhappy… Thoughts? 


      • Monkeybun
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          He doesn’t hate you, he’s scared. This is all new for him, and he probably odes think you’re out to kill him. Give him time


        • Sarita
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            Agree with MB – he doesn’t hate – give him time. It’s overwhelming to him and he needs time – maybe lots of time. Be patient :~)


          • quirkygirlx
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              I don’t know about that, the first few days he was super nice to me…. he even fell asleep cuddling with us a couple times.. the last day or two it’s like a switch has been flipped–even the rescue is baffled because he’s so angry and mean now. I can’t even pet him through the condo wires…


            • Sarita
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                You’ve only had him a few days – give it some time. Rabbits just do not hate.


              • quirkygirlx
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                  So the change in personality so suddenly is expected? I never had this happen with my first guy.. The new guy literally just tries to kick scratch and bite me all the time… And runs from me and hides every time I’m within probably 10’feet of him. I’ve never seen an animal act so scared 


                • Sarita
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                    Every rabbit is different. This is typical behavior. Give him some time and he will learn to trust you. It’s good that you are concerned and that is a big plus for him – he’s lucky to have an owner who is concerned and will let him be who he is.


                  • Kbana
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                      Since you just got him from the rescue, was he recently neutered? I wonder if his hormones are still dying down. Did you change anything recently that you can think of? Cook something different or use different laundry detergent? Change jobs? Anything that could recently be bringing in some new smells? That is the only other thing I can think of besides just giving him time to settle in. For now I would ignore him too. Let him come to you and don’t pet him when he comes. Maybe just put some treats around you while you ignore him and see if eventually he will come out. Again, don’t give him attention when he does this. Just let him get comfy around you. I know your other bun wasn’t like this but rabbits each have their own personalities and since he was a rescue God knows what he has been through before this. Also, as your buns get more bonded to each other I would think that your affectionate one might start to show him the ropes and he may come out of his shell more when he sees his buddy doing the same. It is still so new though so it will just take time. Hard to wait I know! Especially when they are just so darn cute all you want to do is snuggle.


                    • quirkygirlx
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                        Well to be honest my original guy isn’t the most affectionate haha he doesn’t like being picked up or anything either, he’s a very independent bun.. But even he let’s me pick him up when moving him and pet him and he’ll come up to me and stuff.. Knows his name.. This guy just completely pulled a 180 on me. Nothing has changed in the week he’s been here… He’s more affectionate to my cat than he is to me, lol. Ironic but true. He acts like I beat him or something. It’s just making me think that it’s me he has a problem with, not my other rabbit.. He just uses my rabbit as a shield from me. They’ve been having issues bonding as it is but now I’m not sure if it’s because they’re incompatible or if me and the new bun are. 


                      • quirkygirlx
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                          Also, I’m sorry. He was neutered about 6 months ago. 


                        • Kbana
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                            Well mine was super affectionate the first three days I had him. I could carry him anywhere, touch his feet, hinds, whatever. Then after 3 days he became more comfortable and the switch flipped. I think at first he was just terrified and didn’t want to object to anything. Maybe this is what has happened. I would still say give him more time. If you’re having trouble bonding you could wait until he has been with you for a bit longer. Other members might know better as far as bonding is concerned though.


                          • quirkygirlx
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                              I’m going to give him a couple more days to hopefully bond with both of us.. I feel terrible, he just seems so unhappy and starts shaking the second I’m around. I don’t want him to be unhappy, it’s not fair to him. 


                            • Megabunny
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                                Do you think the new bun is stressed because he doesn’t want you picking him up? I’ve read it’s better to let them come out on their own, so maybe he doesn’t want you reaching in for him. I don’t know if this helps. Just a passing thought. Maybe you should ignore him a couple of days and let him settle in and try again.


                              • quirkygirlx
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                                  I don’t even try to pick him up honestly the only time I do is when I’m bringing him out of the cage (which he hates to leave) to bring him out to free roam… and it looks like my bun is picking up on these habits, he’s not too interested in me anymore either (and they’re not particularly interested in each other though either). Very confusing!


                                • Megabunny
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                                    I feel so badly for you. Sounds like you know what you’re doing and you should not feel badly if it doesn’t work out. Interesting the rescue people have seen this before. There are certainly plenty of other bunnies looking for homes and if this one is just not happy there, well, at least you have somewhere safe to return him. All the best qgx!


                                  • LBJ10
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                                      Like Kbana, I would have suggested that perhaps he was just scared at first (making him seem “friendly”) and that now he has snapped out of it. I would give him more time. Like suggested before, a week really is a short amount of time when it comes to bunnies. Everyone is going to be different, of course. But sometimes these things just take more time.


                                    • quirkygirlx
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                                        I definitely agree with you… I’m trying to give him more time, but he’s making it incredibly difficult. I let them out for 4 hours this morning free roam and i kept carrots near me the whole time so they’d come up to me, but didn’t make ANY attempt at them.. My rabbit came up to me a couple times, took some carrots, jumped on the couch, let me pet him, played with the cat, etc… the new bun hid under the vanity the WHOLE time and if he ever stepped out of it and I got off the couch (about 15 feet away) he’d run away and flip out. So I just now decided to put them back (I’m working from home so I still have work to do I can’t just monitor them) and I ushered my bun back in, and the new guy REFUSED to get out from under the vanity let alone back into the cage… he ran away from me kicking and scratching and when i finally got close enough to him he scratched the CRAP out of me and made my hand bleed (and it is now swollen).. I’m trying to give him time but he really does NOT seem like he’s ok with me whatsoever…. The rescue said in the month they had him he was never once like this with them…I have more scratches on me from the last week than my first rabbit has ever given me… and we’ve had our squabbles you know he doesn’t like being picked up or anything. But nothing like this it’s outright vicious….


                                      • LBJ10
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                                          Is he actually taking a swipe at you or is he scratching you in an attempt to get away? What about using an xpen to keep him contained in a smaller area? Or using NIC grids to block off places where he could get “stuck”?


                                        • Sarita
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                                            He may not be a good match for you. You have to keep in mind that this is fear aggression, not mean aggression too…

                                            How does he get along with your rabbit?


                                          • quirkygirlx
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                                              I don’t know what he’s doing really but he seems very angry towards me… I think it’s both… He has a giant nic cage he shares with my other rabbit (they’re in the process of bonding but have been doing ok–they’re ambivalent to each other). I have an X pen but switched to a nic condo because it’s bigger and has more levels for them… I don’t want him to be free roam all of the time I don’t trust him, he’s not fully litter box trained. 


                                            • quirkygirlx
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                                                I’m not sure what he’s so afraid of, I’ve never hurt him or yelled at him or anything… At all. He’s ok with my rabbit… they’re both very dominant so they’re both still humping it out, so to speak… I wake up to lots of hair from both of them, and tons of poop from the new guy. I don’t know. I separated them for now because the new guy is in such a mood I’m worried he’ll hurt my rabbit, plus he obviously didn’t want to go back in the nic condo and I’m not sure why. 


                                              • Zombie-Sue
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                                                  He’s a rabbit. He’s afraid of anything and everything. Leave him alone for a little while, that should help.


                                                • LBJ10
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                                                    What do you mean you don’t know what he’s doing? You have to know how he is scratching you. Does he turn to face you and take a swipe at you with his front paw? Or does he kick you with his back feet in an attempt to flee? What are you doing when he scratches you?

                                                    I ask because I’m trying to find out the circumstances when you are being scratched. You said he has scratched you a lot.


                                                  • quirkygirlx
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                                                      Ok well I didn’t realize you wanted exact specifics. he kicks at me with his back paws and if I try to pick him up even to bring him out to free roam, he scratches me with his front. He flips out and runs away whenever I come into the general vicinity of where he is. He freaks out (running away breathing super fast shaking) even if I walk past him in the dining room (without even looking at him) to step into my kitchen… he does it to anyone that comes into my apartment. 


                                                    • MoveDiagonally
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                                                        Did you take the proper steps to bond these rabbits? If they are bonded then they shouldn’t be separated. So that’s something to consider if you are going to re-home. Bonded rabbits need to stay together, separating is cruel. If they were not bonded properly then this could be a big part of the issues you are having. What did you do to bond them?

                                                        It’s not realistic for you to expect a stressed out bunny to trust you in a week. It can take a month or more before a bunny really opens up to a new owner. Right now he is in a new place, with a new bunny/bonding, a new owner, ect… All that is stressful for him. For him everything has changed. I think you need to re-evaluate your expectations. All these problems you keep describing are normal for a new stressed out rabbit.


                                                      • LBJ10
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                                                          What you are describing sounds like pure fear to me. It doesn’t sound aggressive. He is just plain scared. Like MD just said, this isn’t unusual bunny behavior. He was taken to a new home with new people, sights, and smells. He was put with a new rabbit too. This is probably very overwhelming for him. I really think you need to backup and take things more slowly. Patience will go a long way here.

                                                          Has he been successfully bonded to your other bunny? Or are they still having sessions together and do no actually live together?


                                                        • quirkygirlx
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                                                            He has been living with my bunny for about a week now.. and to be honest they seem totally ambivalent towards each other. They don’t really spend that much time together and I’m beginning to think they are fighting at night because I wake up to lots of poop (new guys) and my guy just kind of stays away from him.. I’ve definitely seen a personality change with my bunny throughout this as well. 

                                                            Also, today I put my hand in to get their litter box (haven’t messed with either of them since your post, was trying to give him time) and he lashed out with his front paws and attacked me… first time he’s done that, but he did draw some blood.. I know some buns are territorial about their cage but he’s never cared before. He was on another level and came down to scratch me.


                                                          • Megabunny
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                                                              Just wondering if this bunny was settled in before you put them together. Can you start right from the beginning and separate them until everyone settles in? Like for a month? The experts could probably guide you one step at a time,so I won’t pretend to know much about it. Tan lover has done this a lot, but several of the long-timers know what they’re doing. Best of luck. Would hate to see you miss out on good times with your original one! I’ll be interested to follow this


                                                            • LBJ10
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                                                                Ignoring each other is fine, it definitely isn’t a bad thing when it comes to bunny bonding. Lot’s of poop is normal. It doesn’t mean they are fighting, it just means they are having a poop war.

                                                                Which bunny attacked you? The new one or your original one? Being in the middle of a “dispute” could trigger some cage aggression.


                                                              • quirkygirlx
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                                                                  The new one.. my guy has never been like that towards me. 


                                                                • LBJ10
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                                                                    I responded to your pm.

                                                                    It sounds to me like your new bunny is overwhelmed by everything and frustrated too.


                                                                  • Hazel
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                                                                      Is there no way you can arrange their living area so they can enter and exit the cage on their own? Picking them up every time to let them out/put them back in is not something most rabbits would enjoy. Your new guy is already scared out of his mind, handling him like that against his will is only going to escalate this situation and make him trust you less and less. My advice is, make the cage accessible to them so you don’t have to pick them up, don’t handle the new bun at all so that he has a few days to start to feel safe again. Then work on gaining his trust. Sitting on the floor, letting him come to you and so on.

                                                                      Another thing I wondered, if they can’t get back into the cage on their own, do they have access to water and food/hay in their free roam area?

                                                                      Edit: I’m not sure but maybe I misunderstood your posts and they do have free access to their cage? Sorry if I got it wrong.


                                                                    • quirkygirlx
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                                                                        They do have free access to their cage (they have a huge nic cage that is on the floor) at all times. I was just trying to give them a more of a “neutral” area (my bedroom) that my first bun has never been in and that is more closed off… my living room, dining room, and kitchen are all pretty open and difficult to close off so it’d be hard to really keep an eye on them. I don’t trust the new guy on his own, so I put them both in the neutral bedroom for free roam.. or try to 


                                                                      • BinkyBunny
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                                                                          Hazel made a good point about picking your bunny up. I too had read your earlier post and misunderstood that you had to pick him up to put him in/take out of his cage. So how often do you pick him up? You said to put to a neutral territory and so how often is that.
                                                                          You also said you wake up to lots of poop –that’s normal during bonding, but you also said, lots of hair and you could be absolutely right that they could be fighting and if that is the case, then that can absolutely make a bunny aggressive and the new bunny would then be understandably aggressive to you as this will now be a territory he may feel forced to defend. I have even had my own rabbits turn aggressive toward me due to them fighting amongst themselves. That’s why during bonding, I wore gloves!

                                                                          I have had bunnies that seemed to get along at first and after a few days, once the fear and newness has worn off, they can begin to work out territorial and other bonding issues and fighting can begin even if they got along at first. So it is good that you separated them, and I would go through a bonding process. Did you go through a bonding process (what did the rescue recommend?) or is it that they just seemed to get along and they were then housed together shortly after they met ???? or… Please understand, not trying to find fault in your actions, just trying to get to the bottom of their reactions.

                                                                          Bonding can actually be really stressful (on us humans especially! LOL) and many members who have been through bunny fighting will say it’s no fun!
                                                                          If it’s definitely not a match, and the rescue is willing to find another then that’s only something you can decide. But to prevent this from happening again, definitely go through the bonding process even if it seems like love at first sight. And it might be worth giving this pair a try again, especially since the rescue said the bunny wasn’t aggressive in their care and so that means that once he has bonded and is no longer fearful or defensive, he may settle back to his kinder self. Some rescues also help with bonding — does yours?

                                                                          Good Luck — Keep us updated.


                                                                        • quirkygirlx
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                                                                            Hi there!

                                                                            So I only pick him up if I’m moving them to my bedroom—I was trying to bring them together more often in a “neutral” territory so that neither of them would get territorial.. other than that their cage is on the floor and I open the door… Only issue is once he’s out and hopping around (which is rare) he refuses to go back into the condo… And when I’m rushing out the door to work I have to get him back to an enclosed area, I don’t trust him out on his own all day… so then I pick him up other than that I really try not to. My own rabbit doesn’t like it either. He tolerates it when he knows I’m bringing him to the couch or something like that but other than that I leave him be.

                                                                            In relation to this “I have had bunnies that seemed to get along at first and after a few days, once the fear and newness has worn off, they can begin to work out territorial and other bonding issues and fighting can begin even if they got along at first. So it is good that you separated them, and I would go through a bonding process. Did you go through a bonding process (what did the rescue recommend?) or is it that they just seemed to get along and they were then housed together shortly after they met ???? or… Please understand, not trying to find fault in your actions, just trying to get to the bottom of their reactions. “

                                                                            I think that’s exactly what’s going on here… I never really went through a bonding process. To be honest I never knew such a process existed, when I was younger I had two females together and we brought them home together and that was that… So no there wasn’t really a process  the first couple days I just really kept an eye on them, and the first day I brought him home I reintroduced them in the kitchen (neutral area) to make sure they’d be ok… and the next week they cuddled up every time I saw them and such, but then I did notice that I think he’s becoming more “comfortable” and this is when the aggression towards me and also running away terrified has started. Now he just seems to use my bun to hide from evil me! 

                                                                            The last couple days they’ve been housed together (before I separated them), they hardly even looked at each other. No fighting, but my rabbit is a very calm guy… but no affection either. I separated them now and their litter habits are 10x better, they’re eating, and my rabbit is running around my apartment binkying happy as anything. Maybe he really did hate sharing his space? Maybe I misread his “I’m lonely” attitude as just he wants to be out more? I’ll be the first to admit the last couple months since starting my new job I’ve truly been slacking with playing with him… 


                                                                          • Zombie-Sue
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                                                                              I think that a single rabbit can be perfectly happy, but they do tend to do better with friends. Bonding is difficult, but it’s well worth it. Rabbits don’t usually truly hate sharing their space, but they need time to adjust to a new rabbit before they’re tossed in together.

                                                                              The girls you had before were already bonded, possibly litter mates. Since that’s not the case here, you’ll have to try to bond them if you want your rabbit to have a friend.

                                                                              There is an info page on bonding on this site: https://binkybunny.com/BUNNYINFO/tabid/53/CategoryID/9/PID/940/Default.aspx


                                                                            • LBJ10
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                                                                                Posted By BB on 01/04/2014 02:17 AM

                                                                                Hazel made a good point about picking your bunny up. I too had read your earlier post and misunderstood that you had to pick him up to put him in/take out of his cage. So how often do you pick him up? You said to put to a neutral territory and so how often is that.
                                                                                You also said you wake up to lots of poop –that’s normal during bonding, but you also said, lots of hair and you could be absolutely right that they could be fighting and if that is the case, then that can absolutely make a bunny aggressive and the new bunny would then be understandably aggressive to you as this will now be a territory he may feel forced to defend. I have even had my own rabbits turn aggressive toward me due to them fighting amongst themselves. That’s why during bonding, I wore gloves!

                                                                                I have had bunnies that seemed to get along at first and after a few days, once the fear and newness has worn off, they can begin to work out territorial and other bonding issues and fighting can begin even if they got along at first. So it is good that you separated them, and I would go through a bonding process. Did you go through a bonding process (what did the rescue recommend?) or is it that they just seemed to get along and they were then housed together shortly after they met ???? or… Please understand, not trying to find fault in your actions, just trying to get to the bottom of their reactions.

                                                                                Bonding can actually be really stressful (on us humans especially! LOL) and many members who have been through bunny fighting will say it’s no fun!
                                                                                If it’s definitely not a match, and the rescue is willing to find another then that’s only something you can decide. But to prevent this from happening again, definitely go through the bonding process even if it seems like love at first sight. And it might be worth giving this pair a try again, especially since the rescue said the bunny wasn’t aggressive in their care and so that means that once he has bonded and is no longer fearful or defensive, he may settle back to his kinder self. Some rescues also help with bonding — does yours?

                                                                                Good Luck — Keep us updated.

                                                                                This! Thank you BB, I think you summed this up well and put it into words that I couldn’t seem to find. LOL


                                                                              • kcomstoc
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                                                                                  The thing I’m confused about is it sounds like they are living together though they don’t sound bonded……am I wrong about this? If so I apologize, also why are you using your bedroom for neutral space there are lots of things in bedrooms usually for the rabbits to hide….why don’t you use the bathtub?


                                                                                • Deleted User
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                                                                                    I think your problem might be you are trying to do two things at once with him. Bond him to you, and bond him to another rabbit. It would be easier to let them live separately but within sight of one another, let him bond to you, then once he is bonded to you, let him work on bonding with the other rabbit. I have to do this with my little parrotlets and being incredibly social and prey animals, I would think bunnies are no different. Also, for what its worth, people brains can only learn one thing at a time, and I would imagine a less sophisticated bunny rabbit brain would be no different. I really hope you find a way to make it work for you. All the best

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                                                                                Forum BONDING New addition literally hates me