Frustrating Situation With The In-Laws and My Bunny *Venting*! >:(

[KelseyCupcakes]

 So, to keep it short, my husband and I live with his parents. We live in the garage which has it’s own room and Ralphy lives with us in there. Since I’ve found out he is not well the doctor said to keep him relaxed and safe which of course I can do BUT, I can’t say the same for the in-laws. They are the type of people that see animals as just things to be replaced. They have never taken their cat to the vet and it has fleas so they leave her outside she isn’t allowed in or the dog, it is in the garage. As an animal lover I am APPALLED by this. They also don’t want the bunny inside walking around. They say it belongs in a cage. I try and try to explain but they ignore me as if they are the experts and I’m just some idiot! I’m worried when I’m at work my minor sister-in-law will mess with my bunny. The doctor said snuffles can be put into remission but can come back with stress. They (not just the sis-in-law) blasts music and I mean BLAST music all the way up in their house, and it’s not even good calming music it’s rap! D:

I don’t really know what to do, I told my husband if they start blasting music tell them to turn it off and to not let them hold MY bunny. The mother-in-law picked Ralphy up with one leg once and he peed all over her because he was terrified and she tried to smack him (they believe in “spanking” animals to correct them) and I grabbed him immidiately and told her it was HER fault don’t blame the rabbit. So, ever since I don’t let him in the house when they are here. And what makes me MAD and the reason why I’m venting is because last night my mother-in-law told me “he need to get used to it. He will adapt. He has to adapt”. And I said to her “bunnies can’t adapt to stressful situations and I don’t want him too!”. I’ve picked up some more hours at work cuz I gotta get out of here! these people know nothing about animals. And when I told her (M-I-L) that I wanted to work with animals she chuckled as if it was a joke. WTH?!?!?!!!!

Oh and, back to the cat, should I take it to a shelter? I feel she will be happier at a rescue or something. My heart tells me too but something stops me. I highly doubt they’ll miss her. The cat’s not mine, only the bunny, and the dog is my husband’s.

[Stickerbunny]

I wouldn’t take the cat to the shelter, as it would just cause more problems between you. Can you lock the door or something while they are home and you are out so they can’t get to the bun? Or, get a padlock for his cage door? Not much you can do about the noise they make, but you could ask them to turn it down a bit if they turn it up too loud…but it’s their house, so unfortunately it probably won’t work from your description. My buns handle loud noises OK, Stickers has the snuffles too and she has to put up with dogs barking all night, but she has learned to tolerate it since there is nothing we can do to make them stop. Sorry your in-laws are so rude about the animals, hope you can afford to get out of there soon!

[Sarita]

I am moving this to the Lounge, it’s more appropriate their.

[KelseyCupcakes]

 Unfortunately our door has a lock but you can only lock from inside. If I leave Ralphy in my room the parents I know won’t walk in but I know eventually the minor S-I-L will (she’s a brat). I might get a sign and put it on my door that says keep out! xD

[KelseyCupcakes]

 No problem~

[Monkeybun]

I would definitely put a lock on the cage then, if the SIL can just wander in and grab him.

It sounds like a bad place over all for animals though

[KelseyCupcakes]

 Unfortunately, you are right MonkeyBun, I personally don’t think the animals (cat and dog) are happy. And great idea! I didn’t think of a lock for the cage. I’ll have to go to Home Depot.

[Sam and Lady's Human]

Get flea drops for the cat, they aren’t expensive. Many cats are perfectly happy outdoors, so I don’t really see that as abuse.
As for the rest, if you’re not paying rent, it’s their house. You can’t tell them to keep the music down, either find a way to sound proof (I’ve found those foam mats work pretty well), or move out and find your own place. If you are paying rent, get a lock installed on the outside of the door. Noise is a fact of life if you live in anywhere but a house with acreage and a fence

[Huckleberry]

Usually replacing a lock so that it locks on both sides is very easy. If there is a standard handle, it would just take buying a new handle with a key lock, unscrew the old handle from the door and then install the new handle. The instructions are all in the package and it doesn’t require anything more than a screwdriver.
I agree that if you are worried about the cat, just buy some flea drops. They can get a bit pricy but you can find some that work ok. The family would never even have to know you put them on the cat. Dont take it to the shelter though. That could cause them to get angry, despite them not liking the cat, and take it out on you or your bunny.
As for the noise, I can relate to you. My neighbors blast music all the time and it is very disturbing. Huckles doesn’t seem to care though. Maybe you can get one of those cat cubes (its like a cat bed but shaped like a cube) for him, maybe being inside might muffle a little of the noise for him or give him a safe place he could hide.
Good luck and I hope things go better for you and your husband.

[Mandyyy]

I would get a lock for your door, and take both the dog and the cat to a rescue/no-kill shelter. A cat maybe happy outside, but that lowers their life expectancy by a lot. He is also at risk of rabies, distemper, and kitty leukemia (it’s highly contagious). If the cat doesnt ever go to the vet, and is probably not fixed, I think it’s dangerous for the animal to keep him. You maybe able to flea treat him but what about all those other sicknesses?

Same with the dog. Dogs are inside pets, they are part of the family. I don’t think there’s a point to owning an animal if they won’t be allowed in the house. Sorry, but these in-laws need to open their eyes.

I’m a jerk, so I would probably buy them “how to care” type books about dogs, bunnies, and cats in general. Or print out pages for them…. maybe even kid pages, and then leave them on their table or something.

[bunnyfriend]

Hmmm I don’t know your situation, but would there be any way you and your husband could have a sit down talk with your in-laws together and create some ground rules/boundaries? If you’re calm and reasonable maybe progress can be made, though I know some people won’t listen to reason so if that is the case then I am very sorry! If you are paying rent then there should be a rule between everyone that the garage is you and your husband’s space. If you were renting an apartment somewhere else it would not be okay for the owner to just walk in, the same concept should apply here. Even if you aren’t paying rent you and your husband could still ask for that courtesy, you could say something like “I really appreciate you letting us live here, I really am grateful for that, but would it be possible to set some boundaries for privacy reasons?” If I were you I would also explain that the rabbit belongs to you and therefore they cannot do anything to your rabbit, like “correct” (that is horrible, never ever is hurting an animal okay or a method that works) them. I know this might bring up some anger, but you could also mention that it is also illegal to smack around an animal. Like I said, everyone’s situation is different but personally I have found that if I explain things maturely and logically people will usually at least listen. Definitely get a lock for the rabbit’s cage and also your door if you are paying rent.

[kinggoblin]

I know how you feel, we don’t live with my fiances parents but when we visit them it is miserable! They also leave their cats/dogs outside all year round and don’t treat them for fleas or ticks so they are constantly infested and I feel bad for them outside in the winter. Their son is also a brat and shouldn’t be around animals in my opinion.

When I got a rabbit they were all “gross a nasty rodent, they belong outside, what a waste of money” because they use to keep rabbits in a hutch outside and only fed them pellets and let them breed all the time but they died early ( probably from fright, they have coyotes roaming their yard/woods that confront their dogs/kill the cats ).

Some people really rub me the wrong way!

[KelseyCupcakes]

 @Mandyyy: Haah ha!! I LOVE the last part!!! Oh yeah that would really piss them off. And yeah no, they are sooo dumb because the cat is in the house laying right next to the SIL and good thing I tok my bunny out when I did or she’d being going to pet him next! Uggghhh….! 

[KelseyCupcakes]

 @BunnyFriend: Unfortunately, they are not the type that will listen. They feel they are so right and I am sooooo wrong. Even if I have all these facts about bunnies which I keep trying to tell them. Like, for instance, tonight. I was holding my delicate little angel and for whatever reason she smacked his back and called him ugly, I said “Hey!” and she tried to do it again and I said, “No! Bunnies are very fragile you’ll hurt his back!” and walked away, the bunny wouldn’t let me touch him for 5 minutes after that, I was PISSED and DISGUSTED!!! Cuz I’ve told her time and again bunnies are VERY fragile, you must treat them like fine china or porcelyn dolls! I want to say I hate them but it’s such a strong word so I will say I can’t STAND them. So, yes, they. won’t. listen. They always say knowledge is power yet they won’t learn about animals?! Huh?! 

[KelseyCupcakes]

@KingGoblin: Ugh, sounds almost identical to my situation. Trust ME, if you did live with them like I have with my in-laws for a year and a half you would want to volunteer at shelters just to feel good because seeing the way they treat animals and knowing you can’t really do anything about it… terrible, just awful. But, that’s why I’m going to volunteer at my shelter and try to start a pet sitting business. For the animals!! <3

[Mandyyy]

Haha, thanks. I try.

Another thing, Bunnies can catch fleas too and most flea and tick treatments are really bad for bunnies. Good thing you did. Poor animals. (not because of you, because of your in-laws).

[bunnyfriend]

Ohhhhhh poor bunny! That is awful.

[Joyfull_music]

OMG if somebody, especially a relative of mine, ever treated my rabbit like that, I would smack them!

When I find people like that who think animals are replaceable, I like to rock the boat with them. I have said something about “Oh it is just a baby, you can always just have another if something happens to it.” Please note that is NOT how I feel at all, but when it comes to a$$ h*les like that, I will drive my point home with that type of tactic.

[Mandyyy]

Joyfull_music, I completely understand what you mean, no worry. I use the same thing on people who are like “It’s just a [name of animal].”

[KelseyCupcakes]

@Joyfull_music: No, I COMPLETELY know what you mean, you’re trying to get them to understand how YOU feel, but, some people are just stupid and don’t care! Like, my father-in-law, last night I was telling him how much I love animals and that I am going to go into a career with animals and he was like, “well Kelsey, we (as in ME) can’t get too obsessed with animals. We love animals but we have to remember they are JUST animals”. And I was like WTF? They have feeling too!!!!!!! They’re like children! No, even more innocent than children because children know better animals DON’T! We must take care of them not eat them, beat them, or leave them outside in the cold. This is why I am going to become a vegetarian. If you go veg you save 100 animals a year : )

[Stickerbunny]

Last time someone hit my animal, I actually did slap them. No one is allowed to “punish” my pets that way – ever. I have cut off contact with several family members for mistreating animals and I don’t miss them at all, blood connection doesn’t mean I have to put up with them.

Kelsey even more important than not eating meat is buying humane – eggs, cheese, cosmetics, etc all have animals involved and a lot of them are abused beyond belief for the products. I am a vegetarian, so if you need some links or information feel free to ask, I stopped when I was 13 so it’s been almost 12 years without meat, for similar reasons.

As for the in laws, it sounds like they are very set in their ways. Would your husband mind if you made contact with them minimum after you guys move away? Sounds like you just get stressed out having to be around them and for good reason.

[KelseyCupcakes]

 @Stickerbunny: First off, let me start by saying good for you for keeping away from those family members! I wouldn’t miss them either. Blood means nothing to me if you are a bad person. And, unfortunately, I am in a sticky situation as my husband and I are very poor and make barely any money, plus he and I are going back to college next semester so we can get good paying jobs that we love. His parents are older and from Peru so they have this old mentality of thinking. I used to never eat meat growing up, I didn’t like the flavor at all, but living with these people they force meat upon me, and I mean FORCE. They will not let me be vegetarian they will still put fish and chicken and pork on my plate and when I don’t finish it they get mad, it’s so so frustrating cuz it makes me so sad knowing I’m eating something that I know suffered and it hurts so much and they all think I am an extremist like Peta which I personally don’t even think they are extremists. But, even though my husband hates it he’ll support me finally being firm on my decision. And, that would be so great giving me some links! I have heard about the cosmetic thing, good thing I never buy make up. And I would love to know about dairy products because we eat a lot of it. Thanks so much! 

[Mandyyy]

I’m a very proud vegetarian. I have been one for 6 years. I think it’s wrong anyone would force someone to eat meat. If someone I know tried slipping it into my meal I’ll tell them I’m allergic to meat products, and could get deathly ill (which is pretty true, because after being a vegetarian for a while meat can make you sick).

[Beka27]

Let’s watch the language please. “Starring out” letters in curse words doesn’t cut it. We have members as young as 13, and possibly visitors younger than that. Keep it clean. Please edit your posts.

[Stickerbunny]

I will put together a list for you later in the week, Kelsey of links with info.

[Author]

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