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BINKYBUNNY FORUMS

Forum HOUSE RABBIT Q & A Do you ever get over surrendering?

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    • Povitamun
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        I had bunnies a while ago and I loved them to bits. They were all house buns, all altered, and got plenty of hay. In other words, they were well taken care of and very happy. I got to cocky though… I handled my pair so well and loved them so much, I thought, why stop? There are so many bunnies with out homes, if I can take them in I should. That’s how I ended up with 4 bunnies. It became too much too quickly. I made the decision to rehome them. I would have kept my original two but there were some bonding issues. I didn’t want to seperate any bonded buns so I thought I had to give them all up. I posted them on Craigslist and kajiji. I got call after call but all were from people who wanted a distraction for their children or who wanted to breed. When I would say that I was looking for a different home for my buns I got cussed out. I finally became so upset and discouraged that I took them all to the shelter and surrendered them. Words can not describe how wracked with guilt I am. I still love animals and bunnies in particular but I feel like I can never own them again because I don’t deserve to. I am one of those people described so many times on this forum that didn’t know what they were getting into and gave up the animals because they couldn’t handle it anymore. I need help getting over this and I have even considered seeing a shrink. Is there anyone here who has been in a similar situation and can help me come to terms?


      • RabbitPam
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          While I haven’t been there, I can definitely empathize with your anguish.
          Have all 4 been rehomed? My thought is that you might be able to handle one, and only one. It is less expensive, and if you have the supplies purchased already, it is possible to have the pleasure of one bunny (and no, they do not pine for a friend. One is perfectly content as a house pet.) If your 4 were two bonded pairs, then yes, you did the right thing by not separating them.
          And if you know in your heart that you cannot have one without getting more, than your decision is wise as well.

          Let me say that if you believe a therapist can help, see one. (And it is not necessary to see an expensive psychiatrist. A psychologist or a Therapist that has an MSW, ie. Masters in Social Work, is well trained to counsel people for much less $ and can be just as good and effective in helping.)
          I say that because ther is no stigma in asking for emotional help when you are feeling upset, but there is great relief in recieving help that works.
          It may be that your behavior regarding pets and relinquishing them may be insight to other issues that you want to work out, but haven’t looked at before. Sometimes something triggers us to get the help we need to live better, such as a severe stomach pain that leads to the discovery of a chronic illness like Chrones disease that went undiagnosed. Once the right problem is addressed, help can renew your life. If this is too emotional for you, perhaps you will get help to find the right kind of pet and a way to live with one that will make you both happy.
          {{{{{{{{Hugs}}}}}}}


        • Sarita
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            We’ve had many forum members who have given up rabbits and have posted about it….so you are not alone.

            I’m sure you gave this alot of thought and did what was best for you. I think your idea to seek the help of a therapist is a wise one and definitely do that – you will be able to work out many concerns with your therapist.


          • Beka27
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              What a sad story. I really feel for you. While I haven’t been in that exact situation (with too many buns), I have been in the situation where there was extremely limited income (husband laid-off, me a full-time student), and some days it took everything I had to not “throw in the towel”. We made it thru the hardship with our family intact, and our two house rabbits still with us, and now I feel we are better for it.

              The truth is rabbits are very cute, and there are so many that need homes. It’s hard to see a beautiful face and walk away. There’s a running joke around here that goes something like “Even spay/neutered rabbits multiply!” and it’s the truth. You start with one, then this one needs a friend. You are perfectly content with two. But then your neighbor/cousin/co-worker has an unwanted bun, or you find one at a rescue, and you take it in. But then… that one needs a friend. It is so easy to go from one to four.

              It’s commendable for you to come here and share your story. You sound like a very responsible person who got overwhelmed, and I don’t fault you for this. Please stick around the site.


            • Povitamun
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                Your replies warm my heart. I’m still not sure how to handle my self though… I just want to know that one day Ill be able to no longer feel guilt and can own animals again.


              • avarismom1
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                  did they go to a shelter or a rescue. Do you really think a shelter kept all 4 bonded rabbits together? I hope you gave them a large donation for taking them.


                • Povitamun
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                    That was a fear I had. I gave a very large donation. A couple large cages, 2 40lb bags of hay, 4 litter boxes, old water bottles, as well as some toys and blankets…


                  • kralspace
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                      aaww Poviramun,

                      I feel so sorry for what you had to go through with the bunnies. You did what you had to and what you felt was best for all of you.

                      Nevertheless, I know the guilt is hard and lingering. I’ve told the story of how 12 or 15 years ago I was in the middle of working 2 jobs traveling extensively taking care of several teminally ill family members and my ex brought my son a rabbit. I love animals and had a houseful of cats/dogs/small pets but I was furious that they would bring another one at such a time and except to make sure he had food and water I literally had no time for it.

                      That poor baby lived in the usual outdoor cage you see here in Texas. It was one of the hottest summers on record and despite frozen water bottles, a fan, wet towels he passed away from the heat, I sure. We only had him a few months and from what I’ve learned about rabbits over the last 5 years, his poor short life was hell and I was responsible for that.

                      That experience haunted me even before I knew how wonderful rabbits are, it’s a hundred times worse now knowing what a wonderful, sensitive creature that big, white red-eyed dude was and how he must have suffered emotionally as well as physically being stuck outside in that dreary cage.

                      I try to use that guilt to pay back the bad karma I surely earned by spoiling my current buns, helping rescues and groups when I can and adopting the ones that I can give a good home to. The sorrow and remorse for that poor bunny will never go away, but I try to channel it into good when I can, hoping that his existence will have bettered other bunny’s lives. He did not even have a name, but whenever I make a donation, it is always for him.

                      So I think you did a really good thing for your buns, as hard as it has been on you, you’ve given them a chance at a better life.


                    • Stickerbunny
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                        Some shelters will keep pairs together if requested by the owner, as long as it doesn’t become stressful on their supplies. Ours will keep animals in their own cages with their own stuff and adopt them out together, or contact a rescue to pick them up if they can, they are no-kill for small animals though.

                        Surrendering is HARD and no I don’t think you ever get over it, but you can move on from it. I haven’t ever surrendered an animal to a shelter, but when I was a kid we had to move our pig had to be rehomed, my parents PROMISED that he was going as a pet not food or farm status, but I never totally believed them and still feel bad about him because he was a spoiled pet and I doubt the new owners treated him as well even if they didn’t put him in as a farm animal.

                        If you feel like you want another bun and you can keep it to a manageable level (start with ONE, don’t go above two) then you should. As long as you give them a happy place to live, that is what matters. Get one from a shelter, to balance things out.  


                      • Monkeybun
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                          I know that at the Oregon Humane Society, we keep bonded pairs together and will not adopt them out separately. I would hope other shelters would attempt to do the same.


                        • piperknitsRN
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                            I’m sorry to hear that; it must have been dreadfully hard, but you did what you could and you really did your best under the circumstances. 


                          • Povitamun
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                              Thank you all again for your replies. I enjoy reading them…

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                          Forum HOUSE RABBIT Q & A Do you ever get over surrendering?