It sounds like to me they are just trying to establish their bunny "hierarchy" and haven't come to terms with who the top bun is going to be! LOL. I wouldn't worry -- this is all normal behavior during bonding! It seems like he is DEMANDING some grooming and your little girl is saying "no lovin' for you, tough guy!" It sounds like you aren't going to have much trouble with bonding, especially after she is spayed. My girl was a lot more willing to groom and accept the boys after her spay but there were no flat-out fights before that. She ignored them both for awhile until SHE decided she was interested -- then it just slowly started a bond from there! Seems to be a girl thing!
The boys were ALWAYS trying to love on her though, LOL. So I wouldn't be worried or frustrated at all yet -- sounds like everything is going smoothly! Slowly but smoothly! Which is much better than most people get in the beginning.